


Lessons to be Learned

by Cappy_Crash



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Educating Jane, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hopper family, Non-supernatural main plot, PTSD, Vietnam, supernatural sub-plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-06-18 07:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 51,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15481137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cappy_Crash/pseuds/Cappy_Crash
Summary: Hopper is about to learn what it means to fall. Who better to educate him than a teacher?Things have to go right before they go wrong, right? Romance with a slow build to the Upside Down.





	1. Learning to be on Time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm nervous about this story.  
> Partly because I was just writing it for me, and me alone. Partly because the OC comes across as a little M.Sue. When I decided to post it, I tried to rewrite her, but she loses some of the things that make her work with the characters. So, I'm being brave and I'm leaving that little bit of me in her. Good job I know I'm flawed ;p
> 
> Please, enjoy.

He was going to make the appointment this time.  
Hopper couldn’t let Jane down by not going to her first parent-teacher conference since starting school. He’d already rearranged three times; Jane’s teacher must be thinking that he was avoiding the meeting. It was the last one available, the receptionist at the school warned sharply when he’d rang two days earlier to cancel. Flo had refused to do it for him again, so he had to suffer the raspy voice on the other end of the line.  
Hopper had briefly considered going home to change, but the current case was keeping him busy and it was only when Flo checked in and reminded him that he had ten minutes to get to Hawkins High that he bolted down the dregs of his cold coffee and grabbed the keys to the Blazer from his disorganised desk.  
Hopper took a brisk pace down the hauntingly quiet corridor to what used to be his own English classroom where he knew Jane’s homeroom teacher would be waiting for him. Or perhaps she wouldn’t. Perhaps she had given up on the Chief making time for his adoptive daughter. He knew that if it had been Mrs Holt, she would have given up and headed home, a menthol cigarette wedged between her teeth.  
It’s not that he didn’t make time for Jane. He made sure he was home for dinner three times a week and he put time aside to help her with what homework he could. Okay, there were some tough adjustments to his working life and his personal life too. It was all for the better, he thought as he felt for the pill bottle in his left pocket. He was less self-destructive, much happier and at ease with himself.  
The door was open, and Hopper walked into the darkened room. Things had changed, but nothing had. Nostalgia bit at his memories like dogs vying for attention. Lost in a memory of Joyce and his friends, Hopper was slow to notice the figure stooped over the teacher desk scribbling away into what Hopper thought looked like a mark book. He took in the dark mop of wavy hair cascading over the woman’s shoulders, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth in concentration. Music played softly from the tape player beside her right hand. She clearly had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the light begin to fade. Or him for that matter.  
Hopper alerted her to his presence by turning on the room’s main lights. A soft gasp left her mouth as she tore the headphones away from her head, knocking her dark chestnut hair into a wild mess behind her as the tape player clattered to the floor. Her eyes momentarily snapped shut against the fluorescent light, but by the time Hopper made his way further into the room, they were open and focused on him. They were such a dark green, that from a distance Hopper would have said they were brown.  
“Chief Hopper?” She asked with a foreign lilt to her voice, her cheeks colouring. “I’m so sorry, I…” She stammered as she left her seat clumsily and moved around her wooden desk to shake his hand. It was a strong handshake that Hopper instantly approved of; you could tell a lot about a person’s handshake and it was something he had used to gain a judge of character in New York, a lifetime ago.  
“Wasn’t expecting me?” His face broke into a friendly grin as he ran his hands around the rim of his hat that he’d taken off the second he’d entered the building out of habit. His build and status was always intimidating, and that was without the uniform. He really should have made time to change. “That’s understandable considering my history. Thank you for being so patient and allowing me to rearrange.” He cursed himself for not even knowing the teacher’s name. He was certain Jane did say, but it was never information he felt he had to hold onto. Until now.  
“No problem at all. Please, take a seat. I’ll just get my notes.” She pointed to the desk at the front. There had to be a first time for everything, he mused as he took the desk, his belt catching as he sat. Although, he thought, if his teachers had looked like Jane’s he might have moved a little closer. Back when he was Jane’s age, all his teachers looked like rehydrated skeletons. He took in the woman’s form as she busied herself at her desk. The black all in one would have looked hideous had it not been clinched at the waist with a raspberry belt. It was almost too big for her and without the belt, it would do nothing for her figure. Her heels lay abandoned at the side of her desk, while she moved around barefoot. It was only as she returned, did Hopper realise he’d been starring, and had focused on the cascade of chalk dust upon her left hip. He would normally have put it down to his observant nature, but he was struggling to convince himself of that.  
“So, Mr- sorry- Chief Hopper. Do you have any questions at all?” She had pulled another chair around so that she was in front of the desk he sat at, pen in hand and a notebook upon her lap. She chewed on her bottom lip with nerves. This was not the woman Jane described; full of confidence and smiles.  
“Jim, please.” He corrected with a twisted smile that she immediately mirrored.  
“Brogan,” She pointed to herself. “Miss Brogan Lusk.” She added when she noticed Hopper’s brows knit together. Miss Lusk, that name rang a bell to Hopper.  
“I just really need to know if she’s settling in okay, no issues with the other kids, that sort of thing really.” He set them back on track and it seemed to reset the woman’s composure.  
“Jane is getting on really well with most of the students. Really well with a few of the boys in homeroom who I think she met over the summer before they started here.” She said with a smile and Hopper nodded in agreement. “There have been one or two issues with other girls in the year above, but I believe you’ve been made aware of that; you had a meeting with Principle Finch?”  
Hopper also nodded; first week there, the popular kids took a dislike to Jane. Mike and the boys weren’t around so she did what she could to get away. There’s only so much pushing and shoving a kid can take. Hopper was proud that she lasted as long as she did before fighting back. Even then, she used her fists and not her mind.  
“Anything since then?” He asked with a subconscious rub of his beard. It had become quite a tic of his, apparently.  
“Certainly nothing that I’m aware of. From what I heard Jane handled herself very well and the girls now keep their distance.” Brogan placed the notebook onto the desk. “Education wise, you are obviously aware that Jane came to us at a disadvantage. Her level of English; both oral and written was nowhere near what would be expected for someone her age.”  
Hopper couldn’t help but shuffle in his seat. He felt like this could be his undoing. He took in a deep breath and prepared his explanation, but it was almost as if she sensed his unease. Without a second thought, Brogan placed a warm and comforting hand upon Hopper’s arm. He flinched ever so slightly, but she didn’t recoil.  
“Chief Ho- Jim, I’m fully aware of your situation and the fact that you adopted Jane. From what I have been told, you have done an amazing job and you should be proud of what you’ve achieved with her.” Brogan made steady eye contact to give these words meaning. “However,” Brogan said, removing her hand from his arm. “She can do better. Jane has made excellent progress so far this semester, but I think with a little bit of tuition, she would be able to improve her English enough to make progress in all her subjects.”  
“Are there ones she finds difficult?” Hopper asked, feeling a little guilty that he didn’t know this. There had been a report card, but the numbers and letters meant nothing to him.  
“World History, Art and Drama are the subjects Jane has told me she finds most difficult. It might be that she doesn’t like them, but until she can access the language fully, we won’t know for certain.”  
“So how would I go about getting her a tutor? Or is this something I should be doing myself at home?” Hopper asked, dread warming the pit of his stomach. He’d struggled enough the first time around.  
“I could do it. I want to do it, if you’re okay with that? I’m her English teacher and Jane seems comfortable with me. Perhaps if you make the offer to her and then I can start tuition twice a week after school.”  
“How much-“ Hopper began to ask. He’d heard about the tutors some of the guys in work hired for their kids and knew it cost a fair amount. For Jane, any amount would be worth it. Brogan smiled sweetly at him, a blush rising on her cheeks.  
“I wouldn’t charge. I just want to help Jane bridge that gap. I might need your help keeping certain young gentlemen away, so she isn’t distracted.” Brogan insisted. “But other than that, the only thing I need is your permission Chief.”  
“That, you have.” He acknowledged, grateful of the help.  
“Well, thank you again Chief- Jim- for popping by, I understand how difficult it must be for you with the job you have. There’ll be another set of appointments in the Spring, but I could keep you updated about the tuition on a regular basis?” Brogan questioned a little bashfully, Hopper thought. Was it possible that she was attracted to him? He kicked himself for even thinking it and pushed it to the back of his mind. He didn’t need to complicate Jane’s life with pursuing her homeroom teacher. In the past it would never have been a question of attraction; he’d have won her over even if she thought he was south of ordinary. It may have felt different to usual, but he couldn’t guarantee that he could treat her any differently to how he normally did with the women of Hawkins; always left them wanting more. Something he was trying to keep in the past now Jane was part of his life.  
“I’d appreciate that Miss-“ He stopped himself as she raised a questioning eyebrow. “Brogan. I can tell you now that she’ll go for it; Jane speaks very highly of you.” She blushed even further at the compliment and Hopper softened even further at her smile. There was a slight stall between them as he took her in again; her youth, her accent and her smile. He wondered how he’d not seen her before. True, he’d not been stalking the bars like he used to but how had she not registered to him at all? “How long have you been-“  
“I assure you, I’m qualified. I gained my teaching certificate back home five years ago. I specialise in gothic English literature… but if you prefer, I can give you-“ It was Hoppers turn to reassure her with a hand on her arm.  
“I trust you, completely with my daughter’s education.” He chuckled softly as she lowered her eyes. He knew he should move his arm, but he wasn’t quite ready. “Brogan, how long have you been here in Hawkins? I’m just surprised I’ve not seen you around.”  
She looked oddly at him and it caused him to reclaim his hand as if her arm was on fire. Only for a second, but it was there, a question and a look of disappointment. She shook it off as quickly as it arrived.  
“A year or so. I’m no trouble with the law I guess Chief,” She was definitely flirting with him, he was certain of it, the lilt that time was intentional and not part of her accent. He was thinking of something to say in return when his radio buzzed. The electric fizz between them evaporated and she used this time to give him space to talk whoever was on the other end. His eyes followed her towards the teacher desk as he listened to Flo explain the situation. Out the corner of his eye, he noticed she pulled open an unseen drawer and pulled out a battered book.  
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to go,” Hopper apologised, standing from the desk and replacing his hat upon his head. “Thank you again for being so patient. Not many teachers would have been so understanding.”  
“I’m very aware of that; some of your old teachers are still here, as I’m sure you know.”  
“There was a pool going, wasn’t there?” He asked as she walked him to the door. She nodded, her smile crooked. “Don’t listen to a word they say.”  
“I assure you, I won’t. Here,” she handed Hopper the battered book from her desk. “It’s the book we’ll be studying after Christmas. I figured you could read it together and get Jane ahead.”  
“Ha, I read this when I was in high school.” He looked out over the room again with a sigh, “In this very room.”  
“I know.” She laughed, tapping the copy he held. “You have nice handwriting Jim.” Without another word, she made her way back inside, leaving Hopper to look quickly through the copy. On the inside cover was a list of student names. About three down was his own name. He took a quick thumb through the copy, and sure enough there was his penmanship. Hopper wanted to head back inside and thank her, but he had to head back to the station and deal with the mess his two deputies had made.


	2. Learning to Accept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which you gain a little of Brogan's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read, bookmarked and commented. It means a lot that you are enjoying and support my story.

Brogan was out of sorts after Hopper left. She tried to refocus on her marking, but he’d reignited a long-buried affection for the chief of police. Something told her that it wouldn’t be as easy to ignore this time. Picking up her tape player, she discovered that the cover keeping the batteries in place had snapped off. There goes the plan for distraction, she thought as she tossed the thing into her desk drawer. She could fix it tomorrow, she was too overwhelmed to do it now. Slowly, she packed away her things and set out her work for the next day, lost in the thoughts of the past.  
There was a moment during their meeting that Brogan was certain he remembered her. A small flash of recognition. Of course he hadn’t. It was over a year ago, it was dark and it had been raining, heavily. She’d had car trouble just as she’d gotten into town from her almost thirteen-hour drive. Her entire life boxed up on the back seat while she was stood on the road side in the pouring rain.  
She wasn’t sure exactly why she was making excuses for him but she did know that not leaving an impression on Chief Jim Hopper was a little wounding to her ego. Especially considering how much of an impression he had made on her.  
He’d been with one of his officers when he arrived at the dirt road just outside of town. The farm owner had made a call to the station about an unfamiliar car that had found itself off the road and stuck. It was Hopper who had ‘saved’ her and brought her, and the rust bucket car of hers, safely into town while she sniffled in the passenger seat. She’d said very little other than thank you, but he had talked to her, smiled wistfully and explained that she shouldn’t feel too bad; that she wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last to end up on the side of that stretch of road.  
She’d wanted to see him again, to thank him and introduce herself properly without looking like a drowned, depressed, rat but she didn’t see him about for the longest of time. In fact, her hair had almost completely grown out when she’d spotted him. When asking around casually in the staff room they all saw the look women got apparently, she was   
warned away; he was damaged goods, medicated and sweet on Joyce Byers. It didn’t matter to Brogan that Joyce was in the beginnings of a relationship with a guy called Bob. It only made it all the more complicated.  
More gossip came to her the longer she remained in Hawkins; Chief Hopper had a bit of a reputation and had notoriously broken the heart of the librarian. There was no way Brogan was a consolation prize or even a disposable one so she threw herself into work and ignored her feelings until she forgot she even had them.   
It was easier than Brogan had expected to bury her crush. Telling herself that it was just because he’d come along like a knight to save her. Nothing to do with his conceited soft and gruff voice, or his easy smile and caring eyes. And most definitely nothing to do with him. At all.  
Shaking off her mind’s eye of Hopper, she told herself that she’d done it once and she could do it again.   
But now, now Hopper was the father of her favourite student and her feelings were all complicated again. Why did she have to try and flirt with him?! She sighed heavily as she admitted defeat and made her way to the staff room to collect her things. It wasn’t even good flirting, she reprimanded herself. Always one to do it half arsed so that she wasn’t rejected. Least it was the right thing to do; that look he gave her brought a blush to her cheeks. She could only imagine what would have happened if she’d flirted properly. A complaint to the principle for one. Which would not look good after the issues she’d had with one of her students last year; Brogan had complained that the comments the boy was making were inappropriate and made her uncomfortable. She’d wished she had kept her mouth shut in the end, the principle found a way to make it Brogan’s fault and simply took the class off her without addressing her concerns.  
The corridors were empty; most teachers had block booked their appointments over the last two weeks, allowing them to head home once their lessons finished today.   
After washing her cup and placing it in her cubby, she pulled on her heavy pea-coat and knitted green scarf, checking her pocket for keys to her apartment. She shouldered her bag, turned out the lights and headed out to the main entrance, not seeing a soul on her way.   
While she was unlocking her bike that she felt a presence behind her. Being mid-October and nearing five o’clock it was a lot darker than Brogan would have liked and her senses prickled at the figure behind her.   
“Hello Miss Lusk.” The voice drawled, and Brogan’s blood instantly turned to ice. Billy Hargrove, the boy in question, was not someone she wanted to spend any time near. Cursing herself for even thinking of him, as if it somehow called him to her like a siren. Busying herself, she pulled the chain from her bike and turned to see him leaning against the wall, opening and closing the lighter in his hand with a grating sound that put Brogan on edge.  
“Mr Hargrove, you’re here late.” Brogan intoned coldly without a hint of a question, locking her chain to the post ready for tomorrow. She could feel his cold eyes on her. He had that predator/prey aura down to a fine art. It wasn’t that she was naturally passive or weak, she was just in a predicament. Being in a position of ‘power’ and responsibility meant that people thought she would have automatic control over boys like this. So any attempt to put him down a peg or two would be seen as an abuse of power.  
“I was at practice. We have a game next Friday; you’ll be coming to watch me play won’t you Miss Lusk?!” She hated how it sounded like a command. Even her own father couldn’t command anything of her, why did this punk feel like he could?!  
“I’ll be there to support the team.” Brogan mounted her bike.  
“Many women would kill to have my attention, Miss Lusk.” Billy placed his hand on the handlebars of her bike, bringing his face so close to hers she could smell the stale smoke that clung to him. His eyes looked soulless and dead, but now they were so close she wouldn’t break contact and think she was submissive. “Now, will you be coming to watch me play?”  
“I will be there.” She replied, refusing to play his game. She hoped her answer was enough for him, while it didn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking she was there for him.   
“Knew you missed me!” He declared with a rasp on the metal basket on her bike. Brogan stiffened at the thought his hand was coming to rest on her arm. Instead he brought it up to his hair and combed through it with his heavy set and scabbed hand “I bet you’ve missed teaching me, haven’t you?” Billy leered.  
“Haven’t you got a mother to screw or something!” Brogan massaged the bridge of her nose against and oncoming headache; she’d entertained him enough now. She knew what she was saying was unprofessional, but they both knew he wouldn’t do anything about it.   
“Jealous?!” Billy encouraged only to flush crimson when Brogan scoffed. His ‘charming man’ mask fell, to be replaced with that of a bully.   
“Miss Lusk? Is that you?” A rev of an engine and a deep voice startled Billy enough for her to free her bike from his grasp.  
“Be seeing you, Miss Lusk.” He drawled and disappeared before he could find out who was in the car; the actions of someone who knew he was doing wrong.   
Brogan shook off the chill that wrapped around her and seeped into her bones as she approached the car. The teen opened his door and stood out. Steve Harrington had graduated six months ago, but failed to accept any college place. Instead he helped out the sports teams while working part time with his father.   
“You okay?” Steve asked her. He knew what Billy was like. He saw him at the games, sniffing around Nancy’s mom while her father ignorantly looked on. Steve had also heard Billy’s locker room talk and how he enjoyed seeing the English teacher so weak. Jonathan had filled in the blanks too; he’d been in the same English class. It made Steve’s blood boil. She seemed out of sorts and hadn’t heard him. “Miss Lusk?” He touched her arm lightly and she flinched, losing her balance slightly. She dismounted to shake off her shock.  
“Yes, sorry of course. I’m fine Steve. How’s things going? Have you completed your essay for college yet?” She figured it would be better to refocus the conversation onto him, that way he wouldn’t see that she was shaking. He looked a little sheepish at the question. “Steve Harrington, are you undoing all of last year’s hard work?”  
“I don’t know if I-“  
“Want to go to college?! Mr Harrington, don’t you dare settle for an ordinary existence. You can be whatever you want to be, wherever you want that you to be. How hard did we work last year, don’t throw it away. Have you even made a start on this year’s essay?”  
“Maybe.” He was giving her the answer he thought she wanted to hear and they both knew it. She gave him ‘the look’ he was oh so familiar with. “No.” He stubbed his foot into the gravel and looked like a puppy who had been beaten. Brogan couldn’t help but melt at this; he was a good kid, but he just needed a little bit of a push.  
“Have a go and pass it to me on Monday?”  
“You’d look at it?” Steve asked brightly, and she nodded. “Thank you Miss. Hey, can I give you a lift?” He pointed to his car. She would have accepted based on how shaken she was, but the chill of Billy still lingered and she wanted to ensure boundaries were kept in place; even if Steve was no longer a student. The Hawkins mothers may be drooling over bad boy Billy with no ethical issues, but Brogan was not going to sink to their level.  
“I’m good Steve but thank you.” She remounted as Steve made to get into his car. “Have a good weekend.” She kicked off before he could try and change her mind. Steve was a good kid and he looked out for Jane and the boys. He was getting a little stick for it, but he took it in his stride. Brogan was sad that things didn’t work out with him and Nancy Wheeler. They’d had a rocky start but worked it out. Everyone knew that he was putting off going to college for her, but things didn’t really fall apart until after the deadline.  
Once out on the open road, Brogan was able to pick up speed and release some of the pent-up fight or flight adrenaline. She was happy to be free of the week and be able to have the weekend to herself. Brogan would normally spend Friday evening in the local bar, but tonight she just wanted to head home, curl up with a book and a beer.

The front door required a bit of a kick to open; the recent rain had caused it to swell. Once the weather improved, Brogan intended to shave the sides so it fit as perfectly as when she arrived. The apartment that was on the main street of Hawkins, tucked on the end of the shop that had remained empty since she’d moved, was the ideal size for her; it opened up into her living room that was cluttered with books of all shapes and sizes and spilling over from her shelves. The kitchen was accessible from the north and a corridor on the west wall led to her bedroom and bathroom that she kept sparse and tidy; she had no time or compulsion for fashion and was still wearing the clothes she owned since before she’d lost weight. That was another thing; she’d lost three stone since she’d met Hopper that night. With that one though, that one additional excuse, the Chief was back in the forefront of her mind. Her heart ached in a comfortable way that Brogan reasoned she would open herself up to, just for the weekend. Then it would be put away, just like it had before.  
Changing into comfortable clothes, she pulled out a beer bottle from her fridge and curled up on her couch with her book, pulling her blanket over her legs more for comfort than warmth. Damn him making his appointment. Brogan thought before escaping into the world within the pages of her book.


	3. Pizza Time

Jim felt much better to come home to the cabin every night now that it wasn’t on lockdown. Jane was always there, usually with food ready to eat. It was much better than anything he would cook, and she always smiled brightly at his grateful thanks.  
He opened right into the living room and found the boys there with her watching TV and playing cards. It was good to have life in the house again, he thought as he nodded to the boys as Jane sprang to her feet and made to move to the kitchen.  
“No, no!” Jim caught her by the arms and into a quick hug. “Pizza?!” He questioned them all and internally laughed as all the boys sat up a little straighter. “The usual boys?”  
“Yes, please sir.” Mike spoke for them all, a notebook on his lap with campaign scribblings.  
“Coming right up.” Jim made his way to the kitchen and phoned through for their usual AV Club special. 3 pizzas; one plain, one Hawaiian and one with pretty much everything and cokes all around. By the time he’d finished and replaced the receiver, Jane was there at the table nervously pulling on the chair.  
“Did you remember?” She asked, trying to keep the impatience from her voice. He simply nodded. “You went?” Her voice raised in pitch and her eyes brightened. “Things go well?” She asked, her nerves crept back and Jim knew he had to put her out of her misery before she picked a chunk out of the chair back. She’d been rather skittish about the whole thing and was becoming very frustrated at Jim letting her teacher down.  
“Kid,” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m proud of you.” She looked up at him, a little shocked.  
“I’m doing well?” Her voice was small, but full of hope. It hadn’t occurred to him how much she was doing simply to make him proud. His heart swelled and he kissed her forehead lovingly.  
“Not amazingly. But, well considering. Your teacher-”  
“Miss Lusk?!” She questioned brightly.  
“She spoke very highly of you. She wants to tutor you; give you a little bit of extra help. She’ll get your English up to speed and she thinks the rest will follow. You okay with that?”  
“Yes!” Jane nodded her head so enthusiastically that Jim was worried she’d do damage. “She’s nice Pop. You like her?” The question pulled him up short. It was a question he’d been asking himself all afternoon, ever since he’d left the meeting.  
“Anyone who is going to help my girl is likeable in my book.” He answered as she detached herself from his hug. Mike had called her into the living room to watch a show that had just started.

 

Jim had joined them in the living room, but ignored the TV while he waited for the pizza to arrive. He sat on the sofa and thumbed through the book Miss Lusk had given him and only put it down when Jane had passed him a plate and a can. She looked at him a little strangely, as if she was trying to figure something out.  
“Chief, what you been reading?” Dustin asked, the TV had been turned down and they had all formed a circle on the floor around the boxes.  
“Oh it’s Fahrenheit 451. Your teacher gave it to me Jane. She wants us to read it together as you’ll be studying it after the winter break.” He looked at them all. “This is actually the copy I read when I was in school. She dug it out for you Jane.”  
“Cool! She’s so thoughtful.” Dustin whispered to the giggles of the group.  
“Hey Chief. Jane told us about the tutoring Miss Lusk has offered.” Lucas’ voice was laced with a mocking bait. Jim wasn’t sure where it was going, but he was going to bite. He raised a questioning eyebrow in Lucas’ direction.  
“Shut it Lucas.” Dustin hit Lucas.  
“Nah!” Lucas laughed and Jim was even more intrigued. “Can Dustin here join too?”  
“Why on earth would Dustin need tutoring?” Jim asked, his eyes narrowed with suspicion.  
“Because he has a big fat crush on Miss Lusk and he’s been dumbing himself down all year so she’d offer to tutor him.” Lucas blew kisses to the beetroot coloured Dustin.  
“Shut up. Everyone here does-”  
“Not everyone.” Mike corrected with a wave and then a point to Will.  
“-Okay. So Lucas does. So does Steve!” Dustin’s voice was gaining power.  
“And my brother.” Will chimed in. “That’s how we found out her first name was Brogan, remember.”  
“True!” Dustin nodded his head. “I did not dumb myself down either-”  
“Dustin, you made Chuck swap papers with you because you knew he didn’t get that bloody book. She might have bought it too; if you wrote out Chuck’s work into your own handwriting.” Lucas insisted and that caused Dustin to anger and shove his remaining pizza in his mouth. “What you think was going to happen? ‘Marry me Miss Lusk?’,” Lucas began a little play, he coughed to prepare for the female answer. “‘I thought you’d never ask! I’ve always dreamed of being Mrs Brogan Henderson.’” He began kissing his own hand, to the delight of the others.  
“Gross.” Jane growled, unimpressed at the chat. Jim decided it was time to end it.  
“Guys, you know she’s a teacher and an adult? She also hears all the crap you lot say. You really think that’s what a beautiful woman like that wants to hear?!” He’d not meant to call her beautiful. While he was sure the boys had not picked up on it, he didn’t like the way Jane was looking at him. It was as if she could not only read his mind as he knew she could, but see into his soul too.

 

“Pop?”  
“Yes kid?” Hopper asked as he tucked her into bed later that night, the boys were picked up by Nancy and leaving them alone in time for their favourite show that they watched together. Once that finished, Jane took herself up the ladder to her newly finished bedroom. Jim had figured the open planned space would be perfect for her. It gave her privacy with her friends, but ensured they didn’t have to sit down to talk about leaving a bedroom door open when it was just Mike she spent time with.  
Jim had climbed up, just as he normally did, to tuck her in and say good night before he headed to bed himself. He was quite impressed at the routine he now found himself in; no longer did he fall into a drunken stupor on the sofa, only to be woken by the painful intrusion of sunlight.  
“Miss Lusk.” She shuffled onto her side and looked up to Jim where he sat on the chair beside her bed. “She’s lonely. Why is that?”  
“What did I tell you about reading people kid?” He reprimanded softly, but inwardly acknowledging the aching he felt at the fact that she was in pain. “It’s probably because she’s far from home and she’s used to having lots of people around her, like you do.” He explained, tucking her unruly hair behind her ear. “But she’s starting over, and it’s a lot harder when you get older kid,”  
“She’s scared too.” Jane explained. Was this why Jane was so insistent that he made his appointment, Jim thought.  
“Little Miss!” He growled softly. “That’s not for you to be listening to. It’s probably spiders, the dark…” He rattled off some examples, but she shook her head adamantly. “Then what is it kid?”  
“Not a what. It’s a who.” She explained. “I don’t know who so I can’t help and she avoids thinking about it.”  
“Then stop poking.” He suggested with a weak smile. “Miss Guest is an adult and can take care of herself. Now, sleep!” He kissed her forehead and made his way to the rooms edge in three casual strides.  
Now his curiosity had been peaked, he was running through people who might scare her as he placed his feet onto the ladder rungs and started his descent.  
“Knew you’d help.” Jane said sleepily, pulling her blanket up and snuggling down into the pillow. “Night Pop.”


	4. Learning to Celebrate Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to write a chapter in between these two that showed Jane and Brogan together and Brogan going to the games. However, it felt too forced and didn't add to the story. So, here we are... a time jump to the end of October.  
> Enjoy.

Dustin had come to see Brogan every lunchtime until she agreed to help with the Halloween Middle School Trick or Treat tour. It didn’t require much on her part; she just needed to chaperone the chaperones. And come up with a costume.  
It was how she found herself dressed as Indiana Jones, complete with hat and whip, and waiting for Dustin, Max and Lucas to round up their little ones as the sun was setting on a crisp October evening. Brogan had impressed them with her dedication to the cause and she couldn’t lie, she enjoyed tipping her hat to them.  
“So, you guys are going around now while it’s still light. You’re going to drop these kids off at school and go out again later?” Brogan asked as they were walking to another house. She hugged her leather jacket for warmth. Dustin had explained with a twisted smile that the next place was out of the way, but it was going to be worth it. With a roll of her eyes, Brogan told him to lead the way.  
“We would have, in the past. But we’re changing things up a bit this year. We’re having a movie night at Hopper Cabin. Jane, Mike and Chief are sorting out food now,” Dustin explain passionately. “What do you do Miss Lusk?”  
“Normally?” She clarified. When Dustin nodded she chuckled, “Nothing.”  
“Nothing?” Lucas joined in loudly with an unavoidable tone disgust.  
“It’s not exactly a thing in England Lucas.” She explained softly, feeling the offence roll off both boys.  
“But you’re here now. What are you doing tonight?” Dustin implored, with no attempt to withhold his desperation.  
“Calling it a night, heading home and reading until I’m ready for bed.” She explained, trying to keep the defensive tone out of her voice.  
“Miss L, you HAVE to do something!” Max pipped up and Brogan felt Lucas and Dustin fall back, whispering. “It’s the best night of the year.”  
“What makes it the best?” Brogan diverted the conversation. While she knew there was a party going on at the bar in town, she really didn’t fancy it at all. She’d gone last year, and Marissa was all about ‘organised fun’. One that involved Marissa bedding a bloke by the end of the night and turning away any male who spoke to Brogan instead of her. It was tiring and frustrating.  
“The chocolate. Although I enjoyed dressing up a little more this year too.” Max explained a little bashfully. Herself and Lucas had dressed as Sarah Conor and Kyle Reece. They’d needed to explain that one to Brogan as she’d not seen Terminator which had upset Dustin.  
“I can see how that would improve things.” Brogan responded with a smile, for the first time she found herself really missing having someone. “Hey Dustin, where are we going; I only know of the Chief’s up this way?”   
“Yup.” Dustin answered casually as the cabin came into view. Brogan’s heart hammered and she unconsciously fixed her leather jacket. She hoped no one noticed. Now she thought her outfit was stupid. Indiana Jones, what was she thinking? Not cute or attractive at all. “Max, you need to do the knocking.” Dustin insisted as they reached the steps. “It’ll be worth it Miss L, I promise.” Dustin stage whispered to her as Max climbed the few steps and up to the door and knocked loudly. Brogan willed her heart to beat at its normal pace. Then the door opened and she swore her heart stopped completely.  
Out stepped a clean-shaven Hopper; his face locked and unreadable; his eyes shaded by a pair of sunglasses. His white t-shirt was covered with a biker jacket. He was wearing his usual jeans, yet he looked so different. He handled a shotgun that did put Brogan on edge. She made to walk up the steps, but both Dustin and Lucas held her back with a shake of their head.  
“Sarah Conor?” He asked with a heavy Austrian accent.  
“Yes!” Max replied confidently. Jim raised his shotgun as if to aim it at Max, but he quickly aimed it to the sky and pulled the trigger. It released a hurricane of confetti that had the kids squealing with joy. Brogan’s heart melted at Jim’s break in character; his smile was wide. He quickly returned to his cold and frozen stance.  
“I’ll be back,” He stated without emotion but heavily accented, disappearing into the house.  
“That was amazing.” Max insisted running back to Lucas as the youngsters crowding the open door. Dustin and Brogan climbed the steps.  
“Evening Chief.” Dustin called as Jim returned with a bowl of candy. “You ready for an epic movie marathon?” The kids took their fill and crowded around Max and Lucas at the bottom of the porch.  
“I’m ready for one movie, without a running commentary.” Jim answered kindly taking a swipe at Dustin’s hand reaching for the candy. “There’ll be pizza when you get back.” His eyes took in Brogan, who shifted self-conscious of his smile. “They roped you in too? How’d you like my… impression?” He asked and was met with an apologetically confused face.  
“No use Chief, she hasn’t seen it.” Dustin translated for Jim’s benefit. She took a step closer to Jim. “She’ll use the excuse of being British I’m sure-”  
“Hey!” Brogan shouted defensively, ignoring Jim chuckling beside her.  
“She’s going home to bed after this. Can you please explain to her what kind of sacrilege that it? Couldn’t you arrest her or something Chief?”  
“I told you, we don’t-”  
“Do Halloween in England.” Dustin chimed in with her. “You should still shouldn’t be alone on Halloween. All the ghouls and ghosts are about.” Brogan narrowed her eyes jokingly at Dustin, internally gutted that Jim must now think she was such a loser. Why did she let Dustin bring them all the way out here?  
“You should come here once you’re done. Watch a film with us. I even have Terminator” Jim said, unprompted and completely casually. Leaving a rather shocked expression on Dustin’s face that Brogan was adamant to ignore. Jim took a step closer to her and Dustin took the moment to return to Max and Lucas. “Please.” He insisted. “I’m outnumbered here. I need an adult to keep me sane.” He made it sound like she was doing him a favour when in fact she would love to have the company. She didn’t reply straight away, trying to get her heart out of her mouth.  
“Sure,” She nodded with a smile. “I’ll just get these guys back.”  
“Actually, Miss Lusk. We’re on that too. Figured the little squirts would be tired.” Dustin called as a familiar car pulled up and an eager Steve climbed out and issued Dustin with a high five. Suddenly, this felt like it had been orchestrated and the only part they weren’t planning on was Jim asking her to stay without any persuading.  
“No party tonight Steve?” Jim asked suspiciously, his eyebrows high.  
“I’m trying this thing where I stay out of trouble.” He smiled. “Cool if I come back?” He asked, his voice vulnerable.  
“You know you don’t need to ask buddy. See you later.” Jim insisted as Dustin took charge and ushered the kids into Steve’s back seat and climbed in the front and drove off. Max and Lucas climbed the stairs and made their way inside in search of Jane and Mike.  
“Beer?” Jim offered Brogan.  
“God, yes!” She replied as he led her inside. He laughed and reached into the fridge for two cans.  
“Long day fighting Nazis Dr Jones?” He asked handing her a beer. She could feel his eyes on her costume again. It’s just Indiana he’s in admiration of, she told herself while wishing it was more to do with her.  
“Something like that. Thanks.” She raised her can as Jim gestured to the breakfast bar and they sat. “This is a sweet place you’ve got here by the way.”  
“Thanks. It was meant to be temporary. I own land all the way up to the lake, but the trailer is just a little small for both of us. When the weather turns again, I plan to build us a house there.” He opened up to her, his face beaming with pride. He swore under his breath as he remembered the pizzas.   
“You cook?” Brogan asked as he pulled out two deep pan pizzas that were on the brink of burning. He shoved two others in and returned his attention to Brogan.  
“Only tonight. Figured it would be mental to try and get pizza delivered.” He grinned as he chopped the pizza into slices and put them onto a plate.  
“You shaved.” Brogan willed herself not to blush. She did prefer his beard and often wondered what it would be like to brush her hands across his cheeks, but the stubble free face showed off his smile “Is that part of the costume?”  
“You really haven’t seen Terminator have you?” He rested his forearms on the breakfast bar, looking at her as if she was an alien. All Brogan could do was shake her head. He mocked wounding by clutching his chest.  
“I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on his arm. “Shall I show myself out?” She pointed to the door and standing from the chair in a faux exit. The arm that Brogan held pulled her back and Jim shook his head. There was a connection, a heat and a deep-rooted look between them. Or so her heart wanted to think as her head berated her for the thought.   
“No! Don’t go!” Jane called from above, her voice heavy with anxiety. She’d clearly taken their silence as Jim not coming up with a convincing response. Brogan and Jim jumped apart and she busied herself with removing her jacket. “He likes that you haven’t.” She explained, bringing Mike, Max and Lucas with her down the ladder that lead to her newly converted mezzanine bedroom. “It means he gets to watch it tonight.”  
“Damn straight.” Jim insisted as he pulled two more beers from the fridge. “-and me and Miss Lusk are going to bag the best viewing spots while you finish the pizzas.” Jim jumped over the back of the couch to claim a spot.

Brogan had never felt so much joy as she did sharing this night with the Party and Jim. Food was shared, warmth spread as she supped on her second can.  
Dustin and Lucas lobbied for a second film and won. Jim reminded them about sleeping arrangements and that he was taking the couch, the girls in Jim’s room and the boys up top in Jane’s.  
Brogan took this as a perfect time to head out, but there was a chorus of protest. Even Jim had insisted she stayed if he had to watch another.  
“You can’t go. You have to watch this with us!” Mike held up the next VHS. Brogan leaned in to read the rental label.  
“American Werewolf in London. Now that, I’ve seen.” Brogan leaned back with a broad smile on her face.  
“So you can point out where all the location errors are?” Dustin offered.  
“Dustin, I’ve never been to London.” Brogan explained, and he looked at her blankly. She sighed “I’m from Liverpool. It’s nowhere near London sweetheart.” Dustin looked so disillusioned.  
“What about Educating Rita?” Steve asked, trying to salvage the conversation while Mike swapped over the tapes. Brogan looked at him, impressed at his knowledge of his films.  
“That’s easy. None of it was filmed in Liverpool.” Brogan drained her can as Jim passed her another and he started on his forth. “Thank you.”  
“It is set in Liverpool though? She has your accent.” Steve questioned.  
“Yes, but they filmed in Ireland.” She explained in a hushed tone as the film began. “Are you sure about this?” She whispered to Jim as all eyes turned to the screen. “It’s quite a violent, scary film.”  
“Don’t worry Miss L, we’ve seen worse.” Dustin called back from his position spread out on his front.  
“Don’t worry, if you get scared-“ Jim began.  
“Scared? Me! No, werewolf horrors are my favourite. It relationship between man and the moon and insanity. Did you know that scientists perform studies on people and the impact of the full moon all the time?! It’s fascinating.” It was all out before she processed what he might have been trying to say. She pushed the thought away, convincing herself that it would have been something utterly mundane and not him flirting.   
“I do notice Flanagan often acts up around the full moon. Think he might use it as an excuse though.” Jim whispered, his head so close his breath tickled her neck. Brogan was painfully aware that all it would take was a turn of her head and she’d be able to kiss him.  
“The police back home would have more people on the job during the evening of a full moon.” She told him, his attention solely on her. Heat radiated off him, pulling her closer towards him and the spicy scent that felt like a sensory definition of strength and protection.  
“Not to be rude Chief, but why does Miss L get to educate you about the movie but I’m not?”  
“Sorry Dustin.” Brogan whispered as Jim aimed popcorn at the boy’s head.  
“You’re the one who wanted cool crap pointed out kiddo.” He laughed as Dustin caught the popped cornels with his open mouth. 

At some point during the film, Brogan’s heavy eyes won out and she fell into a half sleep. She could hear the kids talking but could not make out what they were saying or fight against her closed eyes.  
A little while later she felt the room’s chill bite and lick at her left arm while her right sunk in further to the warmth that enveloped it. That heat kept her for a little more time, but eventually she stirred, rubbing her eyes from the unexpected sleep. The tv was off, all the kids asleep and the room appeared, on first glance, to be empty. Without looking Brogan knew where the heat was coming from. Jim Hopper was out cold beside her, his head resting on the back of the couch.   
With careful and silent precision, she arranged pillows and set him down on the couch, proper. Pulling his legs up was a difficult task that almost saw him wake, but after an inaudible mumble he seemed to continue with his dreaming.   
While Brogan had not woken Jim, she did wake someone. She had almost let out a scream before a clammy hand covered her mouth.  
Steve had fallen asleep himself, during the third movie, he explained once they were outside. They’d debated about what to do with the sleeping adults and it had been decided that, because Steve and Dustin wanted to watch another film, they would wake Brogan after and Steve would take her home.  
“1am!” Brogan groaned taking in Steve’s clock.   
“To be fair, both you and Hop where out for the count by 10.30.” Steve explained as he started the car. She had not argued with his offer for a lift this time.  
“Should have just woken me when you were ready to leave.”  
“Jane and Max said you and Hop looked too cute snuggled up together.”  
“We were not snuggled!” Her voice broke as she defended herself. Steve looked over with a raised eyebrow, which only caused her to blush. “Oh God!” She moaned.   
“Hey, you only rested your head on his arm. All good. Just gutted it wasn’t me.”  
“Steve.” She warned, refusing to open her eyes. “I’m not hearing a sorry Mr Harrington.”  
“I’m not though. I’m paying you a compliment. Way I see it; you’re pretty, you’re cool and you’re someone who is intelligent but doesn’t lord it over everyone the way most people do. I have a crush on you and unfortunately, I’ve made it obvious. However, it’s like I’ve had a tumble on a dismount. I’m trying to end it with class.” He stumbled. “I just hope you know I’ll never act on it. I know you’re not interested, and never would be. I’d never do what Billy does. I’d never be the reason there’s fear in your eyes.”  
“That was rather sweet Steve.” She looked at him with a newfound respect. “You know I won’t accept another ride though, right?”  
“Yeah, I know. Although if you and Hopper become a thing-“  
“Me and the Chief?!” Brogan laughed, hard before letting her vulnerability slip. “I don’t stand a chance there Steve. He’s...” she stopped to think. She noticed they had pulled up outside her apartment. “I don’t do rejection well.” She pulled her keys out of her leather jacket to distract herself from the vomit of honesty.  
“You think Hop would reject you?!”  
“Life isn’t as easy as you think it is. You have a crush on me not because of how I look, or what I say. To you, I’m safe. I’m someone who can’t break your heart because we can never be. The law is there to protect both of us.” Brogan found she couldn’t stop now that she was talking. “Billy is something else entirely. For me it’s lose/lose. He wants me because I’m a challenge. I’m unobtainable to him in a different way. He wants power that’s too big for him, and that scares me. He’ll do anything to get it and no matter what, I’ll be the one to blame.” She only realised she was crying because her vision was blurred.  
“And Hop?” Steve asked softly, not wanting her to freeze up. She felt a smile spread across her face. How could she explain it, when she didn’t understand it herself.  
“He’s Hop. I want something I’m not sure he is in a position to give.” Brogan whispered into her hands. “And I don’t want to make things weird. I teach all of those kids Steve.”  
“So it doesn’t get any easier.” Steve insisted bitterly.  
“Depends.” Brogan shrugged. “You could be lucky, you could be clever, you can be impulsive” she rattled them off on her fingers. “Or saddest of all, you could settle.”   
“What about being alone?” Steve asked as Brogan reached for the door handle.  
“Always preferable to settling Steve. Always.” She opened the door and stepped out of the car. “Thank you for the ride Mr Harrington.”


	5. Lies and Flies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it taking so long. Please enjoy

Jim pulled his keys out of the ignition and shuffled into the large shopping market just outside of Hawkins. It was a store that was open 24 hours, which was exactly what he needed at 10pm on Friday night when Jayne was in the middle of a melt down and in need of items that they didn’t have at home.  
Not that Jim could blame her, Jim considered with a deep sense of guilt. Her period had started and all Jayne had seen was blood spread over her bedding. Of course she didn’t know how to handle it. The good Doc had said Jayne would most likely never start her periods. He’d sat Jim down and explained that with everything the Company had put her body through, it was to be expected that she’d develop differently to others her age. Jim had been preparing to have a talk with Jayne in order to explain to her about never being able to have children. Now it was going to have to be a completely different one.  
Jim was overwhelmed and lost in thought when he felt a presence beside him. It was was her scent that he caught his attention first; floral and light. It was a popular scent she used, but it smelled different on her; it responded to her body in a way that sent him dizzy to the point of euphoria. It was the sent, he argued, and not simply knowing it was her.  
“Unless you’re dealing with a nose bleed, they’re useless to you.” She almost sang. Everything sounded lyrical with her English lilt. “Evening Chief.”  
“Brogan.” Jim acknowledged, replacing the tampons on the shelf. He took in her blown out hair that was flat from the day’s work, her clothes crumpled and her eyes tired. “I-” Jim began to fluster.  
“First time getting Jayne-” She began, but her grin faulted. “Your first time full stop?!” She sounded incredulous.  
“I had a wife.” He blurted, by way of an explanation. “But she told me what to buy.” He grumbled tiredly into his hand that was not holding his shopping basket. “I’ve messed up. I should have been prepared.”   
“Why, you a boy Scout?” She asked, her focus on the shelves.  
“No!” He scoffed.  
“Then don’t kick yourself for putting off a difficult shopping trip.” She soothed and he flushed at the naive thought that he had that he’d never have to make this trip ever. She placed three different coloured boxes into his basket. “Pads.” She explained, “three types of absorption.There are instructions inside the boxes. Tell her not to worry; they’re meant to feel like you’re carrying a fluffy brick inside your knickers.”  
Jim couldn’t help but allow an infectious smile to spread across his face.  
“Is that because I said knickers?!” She mocked.  
“It’s how you said it. Your accent does some amazing things to the letter K.” He explained, while conscious of not saying that it also did some crazy things to him too. He was lost in thoughts about the butterflies he felt in his stomach that made a beeline to his crotch at the twang of her accent as she led him down another aisle. She was already setting a small box into his basket before he realised she’d gotten it from a shelf containing medicines. His throat constricted and the butterflies turned to lead; he’d not had so much as aspirin in his home since Jayne moved in. Just another reason why he should ignore his increasing desire to kiss her; he would have to tell her about his history with medication. Jim’s itching need to tell her about his addiction dissolved as he took in her heavily bandaged left hand.   
“What on earth?” He questioned, reaching out and raising her arm lightly to inspect the gauze. It felt heavy and a faint smell of disinfectant tickled Jim’s nose.  
“I burnt, well scalded, my hand. It’s nothing, really.” She insisted, retrieving her hand from his. He looked at her skeptically.  
“This happen in school?” His gut was telling him there was more to this than she was saying. Too cagey, too flipant for something that clearly required a visit to the hospital.  
“Yeah, just as I was leaving.” She chuckled, but he caught the bitterness in her laugh and the glaze that had formed over her eyes.  
“You didn’t drive yourself, did you?” He asked, not giving her the option to lie about the hospital.   
“No, the Principle’s PA was still around. She drove me, but I sent her away once I’d been signed in. No use us both wasting our friday night.” Brogan muttered before pinching the bridge of her nose against what Jim thought were tears. She sighed before giving Jim her attention again. “My friend is going to be so pissed. She’ll think I’m bailing because she invited my ex. Like I’d want to be stuck in hospital nursing second degree burns instead of an ice cold beer.”   
It occurred to Jim that she wasn’t aware that she was rambling. Her anger brought out her accent even further and his heart skipped a beat at the reference of an ex that she would want to avoid.  
“That must have been some scalding; what the hell did you do?”  
She stood frozen for the moment, almost as if she’d been caught in a lie. She shook off whatever thought was haunting her. “Just an accident with the staffroom kettle is all. A slip.” She stuttered and Jim knew it was a lie; it was too rehearsed, despite the lack of confidence in her own conviction. However, he didn’t want to push. She looked tired, in pain and ready for bed. Kicking away the thought that all he wanted to do in that moment was see to it that she found her way there, he settled for asking if she needed a lift home. She fumbled for her watch in her pocket with her good hand, to be met with something that disappointed her.  
“My watch has broken.” She shook it lamely. “Do you-”  
“Little before 11.” He answered before she’d asked. “You got a taxi booked?” He questioned, hoping that they could cancel it and he could drive her home.  
“No! You’re biggest fan is coming to pick me up!” Her playful smile returned to her face and Jim’s heart swelled painfully. “You really must be something for someone to hate you that much.”  
Truth was, he couldn’t answer that. His night with Marissa was at the height of his medicated self harm that he didn’t remember anything beyond sitting next to her at the bar.  
“What can I say, I’m catnip to some people.” He shrugged. She mumbled something he could have sworn was ‘i’ll say’, but he asked her to repeat it none the less.  
“Ice cream,” Brogan insisted, covering herself. “You need to take home a pint of ice cream. I have to go, Marissa will be pissed if I’ve left her waiting too long.” She parted ways with Jim without another word, leaving without buying anything.  
Jim followed her advice and paid for his basket while allowing her departure to sink his heart, of course she wouldn’t see him as catnip. It was such a dumb thing for him to even entertain. He mentally kicked himself as he loaded the car and made his way out of the car park.  
When he opened the door to the cabin, the phone was ringing.  
“It’s for you.” A distant voice declared from the bathroom as he picked up the receiver and issued a hello to the caller.  
“I meant to ask,” the lyrical voice that he’d replayed on his journey home spoke. “Did you want me to come over and talk Jayne through, well… everything.I’d imagine it’s not something you’re looking forward to doing.”  
“That, is very kind of you, but it’s something I need to do.” He smiled gratefully down the phone.  
“Sure,” She was smiling too, he could tell. “I’m impressed Jim. Good luck.”   
“Thanks.” He chuckled as he twirled the cord around his hand. “Feel better, goodnight.” He placed the receiver down before selecting the heaviest pad, explaining to Jayne what to do with it through the bathroom door and then slipping it under the crack.

Jayne appeared a little while later in the living room; dressed in her favourite pajamas and her face the colour of ash. She joined him on the couch and hugged him tightly.  
“Any pain kiddo?” He asked, his lips brushing the top of her head. She nodded into his chest. “That’s normal.” He explained.  
“It’s not fun.” She muttered sadly, relaxing out of the hug and resting her head heavily on his shoulder.  
“No, it’s not kid. But it’s a part of life and you becoming and adult.”  
“Just the once? Never again.” She questioned, a heartbreaking amount of hope in her voice.  
“Every month.” He sighed. “If I could take it away, I would. I swear, I’ll do what I can to make it easier.”  
Jim spent the best part of an hour explaining the process, the purpose and the pain. He explained how to use all the things Brogan had helped him buy. He knew the sex talk wouldn’t be too far away, but he was happy to not have to bring it up today.  
“Pop?” Jayne asked after it all sank in. Jim was expecting a question, but his acknowledging grunt took the conversation elsewhere. “It wasn’t an accident.”  
“No, periods aren’t accidents. You didn’t do anything to start them.”  
“No, Pop. Miss Lusk.” She corrected. “She didn’t slip. He was where he shouldn’t have been. He didn’t want her to go away, so he did it on purpose.” Jayne’s words turned Jim’s blood cold. “He held her hand somewhere hot until she blistered. He wanted her to need the hospital.”  
“Jayne.” Jim brushed his hand through her hair as he called her softly. “Who is ‘he’?”  
“They know.” She said in an almost trance-like state. “They’re all scared. They paid her insurance so she forgets. She won’t forget.”  
“How-” Jim felt how much of a deadweight Jayne was on him now and lifted her off him until he was holding her with both hands.   
“She tried to stop him, she really did try. She fought. She doesn’t know how he knew she was going away. She wishes she hadn’t changed her hair. That was a giveaway.” Jayne was gasping for breath. “She wanted you to know about her ex, but not him. He didn’t need to know. Never him.”  
“Jayne, who is he?”Jim raised his voice, but she still didn’t respond. “Eleven.” He shouted as he shook her.  
“Pop?” She regained focus, but her eyes were wet with tears. “Miss Lusk, I can read her on you.”  
“I noticed honey.” He pulled her back into a hug.  
“Who is he Pop? I couldn’t see him, but he scares her. She’s petrified.”  
“I don’t know, but I will find out. I promise.” He whispered into her hair.  
“Can she teach me here? She doesn’t like leaving the school alone or when it’s late.”  
“If she agrees to it. You ever seen anyone in school when you leave?” He asked.  
“Staff and sports people.” Jayne explained. “How bad was her hand?”  
“It was wrapped up Hon, but she seemed in good enough spirits.” He explained with a small smile.  
“That was you Pop.” She answered, matter of factly.  
“Jayne, stop playing cupid.”  
“I only say how I see it. I don’t lie.” She drew herself backward and rested on the opposite arm of the couch.  
“No, kid. To you it's the truth, but I’m telling you she don’t feel theses feelings you think she does. And I don’t-” He started, but there was no way Jayne was going to listen.  
“-lie!” She glowered at him. “You have flies! You feel the flies!” Jim couldn’t help but chuckle at her.  
“You mean butterflies.” He corrected.  
“You feel the flying. You feel it when…. I feel them when I see Mike. You feel them when she’s mentioned. You felt them at the game. The first game you came to and you saw her laughing at the mascot. You felt it when her head rested on your shoulder at Halloween and …”  
“Alright there kid!” He growled, trying to ignore the heat that had erupted on his face.  
“Your flyings are much more than Dustin’s flying flies.” She shouted, frustration fizzing around her like static.  
“Stop listening to my flies. I’m trying to ignore them.” He shouted back, lifting himself off the couch and pacing the living room.  
“I can’t help it!” She screamed, red in the face. “They’re so loud.”  
That brought Jim up short; “Louder than usual? Just mine?” He questioned and in those few words, the static popped like a balloon.  
“People are just harder to ignore Pop. You’re louder at times when you’re excited, and Miss Lusk makes you feel alive again. It's been the last week or so Pop, but you’re all loudest today.”  
“Could be something to do with your period.” He pulled her up from the couch and into a hug. “I’ll get in touch with the Doc and see what he’s got to say. It might mean some tests-”  
“You won’t leave me?!” Her eyes darted to his.  
“I’ll be with you the entire time.”


	6. Prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So excited for people to read this one.

“Chief, good to see you.” Principle Finch took Jim’s hand firmly and anchored it by the elbow with his other. Peter Finch was an outside man; from New York. He came to Hawkins for a quick way up to being Principle. Ten years on, Peter was still here, shaking hands like a Politician, hoping that one day he’ll be called up to the big leagues. Jim tried to spend as little time with him as possible, he was never one for the PR stunts or smoke blown up his ass.  
The music already had Jim’s head throbbing and he really just wanted to be at home waiting for Jane to come home, smile plastered on her face. He spotted his daughter over by the punch table and then he remembered the other reason why he was here. Brogan was manning the table with some students; her hair down and as unruly as ever. Jim’s attention was monopolised as he watched her interact with the students.  
“Jim?” Peter’s voice cut through the fog and Jim realised his hand was still clamped into the Principle’s sweaty one. Jim shook off the haze and asked him to repeat himself while retrieving his hand. “I said I wasn’t expecting you to make it.”  
“What can I say, it’s quiet.” Jim said, while mentally touching wood. “Where do you need me Pete?” He knew the guy didn’t like the shortened name, but other than a small grimace you couldn’t tell.  
“Up on the platform. We’ve just had it put in.” The Politician came out in full force as he showed off the bottom end of the gym that had now had a second level installed. It looked cheap, like scaffolding and only had one access point; a set of metal stairs to the right from where Jim was. “Most of the parent’s are up there. Perfect spot to keep an eye out without cramping the kid’s style.”  
Jim wanted to tell him that shouldn’t be his priority and that student safety should come first, but an uptight looking teacher demanded his attention. It was probably a bit, but Jim was thankful of the escape. Hands stuffed in his suit pockets, Jim made his way to the platform; the longest way around that avoided the dance floor and the cloud of cologne that he was certain qualified as a fire hazard. Ascending the stairs, he felt a wave of vulnerability. Being there as the Chief of Police would have been one thing, but he was there as a Dad tonight. He wore the new suit that Jayne had helped him pick along with a charcoal shirt that Jim had refused to wear a tie with.  
However, there was nothing to be worried about. It was as if the badge was part of him. After a few waves to the parents huddled together, Jim made his way to the table that contained drinks. He observed the women swigging wine from a cooler and doing anything but paying attention to the dance going on below. Nancy’s mother was rather dressed up for a school dance; it seemed as if she had raided Nancy’s wardrobe. With a sigh, Jim filled a paper cup with the cold excuse for coffee and made his way to the metal barrier front of the platform. By perching on the table section of the picnic table they’d placed near the edge, Jim had a perfect view of the dance.  
“Evening Hop.” Joyce was at his side. He was certain she was happy for the escape from the housewives of Hawkins. Things were still tense between the two of them; he knew she needed space to deal since the death of Bob and he was certain she would be blaming him. In truth, he wasn’t ready for that conversation himself. He raised his cup by way of a hello.   
“Will having fun?” He questioned, subconsciously scanning the crowd.  
“I doubt it.” Joyce sighed. “He didn’t want to come tonight. The others are growing faster than him. They’re all about girls and dating, but Will is still wanting to be in the basement playing games.”  
“It only takes one though Joyce, and he’ll catch up. The right person just has to come along.” Jim tried to ignore the pang he felt as his eyes drifted over to Brogan talking animatedly with Steve. The only way to distract himself was to drink the bitter coffee that resided in his cup. “Then.” He winced at the coffee, “Then, you’ll wish he was still in the basement.”  
“I don’t know Hop. I don’t think I’ve got anything to worry about on that front. My boys don’t take after me.” Joyce stood and turned away from the crowd, leaning against the mental barrier to give Jim all her focus. There was a time when he would have jumped for this sort of attention from Joyce Byers. Timing was never right between them; he’d missed his shot and now she’d missed hers.  
He was so jealous of Bob. That was until he saw how happy the dweeb made Joyce. He was so patient with her and her insecurities. She hadn’t always been like that; it was the lasting scars from a marriage of abuse. There was no way he could ever provide that for Joyce, he was too broken himself. It was why he had to stay away.  
“They’re good kids.” Jim agreed with a swig of his drink. He could have sworn it was replenishing itself. Another sweep of the hall brought his attention back to Brogan; she looked shaken beneath a façade of calm. She was talking to another member of staff while she clutched onto her arm as if she had been struck. He reprimanded himself for hoping she was heading up to where he was sitting. He’d been silent too long and an awkward stillness has settle between him and his friend.  
“I’m going out for a smoke, you coming?” Joyce asked, bringing his attention back. Always the one thing that unified them.  
“I quit, but thanks.” Jim explained, hating the look of rejection that had blossomed on Joyce’s face. Truth was he’d quit not long after Jane moved into the house.  
“That explains you being here.” She chuckled settling her bag back on her shoulder. “Our prom you never left the car park.”   
That was true. He’d sat on the hood of his dad’s car, smoking away the evening with different people, including Joyce. There was even a joint being passed around. Joyce, before marriage, was the shit and dead cert for prom queen took a hit to calm her nerves. Nobody knew but her need to be liked ran deep and raw. Winning meant everything. How things changed; she was the outcast of Hawkins. She’d get her status back if she tried, but you could see her priorities were different now.  
“Are you really drinking the swill from the staff room there Chief?” A playful voice drifted over him as he felt the weight of the table shift and her scent cocoon him in a euphoric welcome. She sat beside him with ease and delved straight into her tote without another word. Placing a vacuum flask in the small space between them, she wordlessly took his cup from him. With a grimace at the remaining liquid, she drained the cup and set it beside the flask, brushing his knee with her own as she twisted her body to attend to the flask.  
He felt hypnotised as she popped off the plastic cup and lid. The aroma mingled with her perfume as she poured generous servings into both containers; passing the cardboard cup back to Jim with a smile. He noted her hand was a raw and angry shade of pink even 4 weeks after the hospital visit.  
“Don’t worry, I don’t have germs.” She encouraged as he sat bewildered. She leaned in until her lips were close to his ear “it’s not spiked either.” the flirtatious lilt that accompanied her voice did have him questioning where the confidence had come from. He shook away the thoughts; he was imagining it again. That had to be it. He blew on the steam that was coming from the cup before taking a tentative sip. Brogan’s attention had moved to the crowd below, sipping her own with a subconscious ease.  
“This is the best contraband I’ve had at prom.” Jim sighed through a second sip of rich, smooth tasting coffee with a hint of sweetness. “Ever. Thank you.” She responded with a laugh that sounded a little off to Jim’s ears. It unnerved him how quickly he’d become responsive to her.  
“I learnt very quickly I needed to bring my own if I wanted to survive. That stuff you were drinking is just swamp water.” She was hugging herself, almost in an attempt to keep herself small. What on earth had he missed?! It had to have been the same person Jayne had been talking about. And he’d missed his chance to put a name to him.  
“What, no tea for you?” He questioned with a playful smile; his attempt at flirting needed some work. She rolled her green eyes theatrically. “No tea service with fine china in your bag?” he faked an attempt at going into her bag but she was too quick for him; she batted him away.  
“Less of the Mary Poppins, thank you.” She wiggled her eyebrow and took on an American accent “No body’s perfect.” She intoned the final line of Some Like it Hot with such skill he had to bite his cheek from telling her she was wrong; that she personified the word.  
“No pinky –“ He stuck out his right hand little finger in an act of mockery and distraction. He wasn’t sure who it really was for though.  
“Aren’t we a walking, talking stereotype machine tonight?!” She shoved him harder that time. He would have thought she was irritated had it not been for the smile. “I don’t like tea, unless it’s iced.” She brought her right leg up onto the table and her left leg flush against the side so she was facing his profile. The urge to mirror her was so strong that Jim made a conscious effort to not follow suit. “I however, love my coffee. I need my coffee, at regular intervals…. And it has to be the best. I have a stupidly high expectation for my relationship with caffeine.” She explained with passion.  
“Indeed you do; you just might have ruined all other coffee for me.” He looked into his cup and decided this time the liquid was evaporating too quickly.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll put it away now. In time you’ll forget…” She made to move it back into her bag.  
“No, no, no… please, don’t take it away.” He grabbed the arm that held the flask. He hadn’t used pressure, but she still flinched as if he had caused her pain. He couldn’t remove his hand fast enough, and that was when he realised; she had not been wearing the light cardigan when he’d first arrived and the heat in the gym didn’t require it. Her smile faulted and she avoided his gaze.  
“Hey, what happened?” He asked, reaching slowly for her hand. She looked to his eyes, almost searching for an answer to a question she hadn’t asked. She bit her lip in contemplation before shaking off the thought.  
“It’s nothing.” She fixed her smile, but it still didn’t meet her eyes. She didn’t let go of his hand either.  
“You suck at lying.” He cocked his head towards her. She blushed a little at the criticism.  
“Don’t I at least get credit for not folding; you’re a little intimidating.” She paused, “when you want to be.”  
“When-“ The question was lost as his brain processed what she was saying. He’d been so fearful of intimidating her before he’d met her; he’d been so conscious of it. “- you don’t find me intimidating?” He mocked offence until he took in her shocked expression. “What?”  
She took her hand back and he immediately regretting the question. His hand felt cold without hers.  
“Safe, loyal,” She began counting off the words on her hands. “powerful.” Her eyes skirted his arms as she said that, he was sure of it. “caring, protector…” He thought she was running out of words, but the rising blush suggested otherwise. “charming, beautiful, intelligent, teddy bear.” She spluttered and from the look on her face, the final one took her as much by surprise as it did him. “I would use all these and more before I defined you as intimidating.”  
He leaned in, just as she had when she arrived. “You sure you didn’t spike the coffee?” he asked in a hushed, playful tone hoping she didn’t take it as an accusation. She bit her lip again and was just about to respond when something below caught her eye. It then occurred to Jim that his eyes had not left her since she’d sat down.  
“Speaking of spiking,” She climbed down off the bench and drained her cup. “I have to get back to punch duties. Billy Hargrove seems to have been distracted, but I’m certain he’ll be back.” She pulled her hair over to one side, picked up her tote and then the flask. She pressed in into his hands. “You need this more than I do.” She winked and walked away. He looked around the platform and noticed that Karen was no longer with her group. Perhaps Brogan was right about Billy’s distraction. Nancy’s mother had taken a shine to the boy and was not being very subtle about it.  
Jim stood, trying to shake off the last of the dizzy feeling she’d left him with. It was after a second passing that Steve caught Jim’s eye. The wave was urgent and he was even yelling, but the sound died before it got to Jim’s ears.  
“What’s up kid?” Jim asked when he got to the bottom of the stairs.  
“Will you please give Miss L a lift home tonight?!” Steve asked wringing his hands together as he blurted it out in a panic. Jim looked at him blankly, waiting for an explanation. There wasn’t one forthcoming. Jim pulled him outside and away from the noise.  
“Spit it out kid. If Jane has put you up to this as part of her match making-“  
“Chief, no. I swear.” Steve couldn’t keep the begging from his voice. “Someone needs to make sure she gets home okay. I offer all the time Hop, but she always refuses.”  
“You know why though Steve?” Jim questioned. “She doesn’t want to give you any wrong id-“  
“-Please listen Chief. I offer because of Billy. You’ve seen the way the moms all swoon over him. He thinks he’s… look, he’s been trying it on with Miss L for months. It started with a few little comments in class, but now he’s going out of his way to perv on her. I’m certain he had something to do with her hand. He’s had a bit to drink and I’m just worried that he’ll wait for her tonight,” Steve implored and Jim considered for a moment that Billy was the ‘him’ Jayne said Brogan was scared of. “Please believe me. I just want her to be safe and I know she won’t let me do it.”   
“Alright, I got it. You did the right thing Steve.” Jim clamped his hand on Steve’s shoulder. He could see the kid release a breath he was holding. All of a sudden, his face changed as he realised what Jim had said.  
“You and Miss-“  
“Don’t start Steve! It’s just Jane meddling is all.” Jim would have been much more convincing had he not been going red at the same time.  
“No, Chief, that’s cool. But, you know…” He puffed out his chest in a subconscious effort to become intimidating. “If you hurt her-“ Jim cut him off with a laugh.  
“Go grow some fuzz…” Jim pinched Steve’s chin. “Then come threaten me.” His hand moved to Steve’s shoulder. “Go, have a good night. I promise, I’ll get her home safe.”  
Jim found his way to the punch stand as the prom began to wind down and the slow songs began to play. It was a risky move on his part. He felt 14 again. He didn’t want to dance, this was so not his thing. But he wanted to dance with Brogan to have an excuse to be close to her. He wanted to be bold and ask her, but he was paralysed with the fear that she just might say no.  
“Just ask her.” Without him knowing, Jane had arrived by his side. She wrapped her arms around his middle.  
“Don’t force it kid.” He growled and she sighed. He tipped her chin up so she was looking at her. “I can’t.” He admitted honestly.  
“Don’t be scared.” She said quietly, but with a powerful insistence. “She won’t say no.” Jane reassured him before something diverted her attention and she turned to the dance floor. “You missed your chance Pop.”  
She was right. Brogan was being escorted gingerly to the dance floor by a very nervous looking Dustin as one slow song finished and another began.   
“I know I shouldn’t feel like this,” Nancy called softly to both Jim and Jane as she continued to work on the punch stand “but I’m a bit upset he didn’t ask me.”  
“Don’t worry Nance.” Jane removed herself from Jim and hugged Nancy. “You’re still his girl.” Jim was so proud at how comforting Jane could be; empathy had become her strongest trait.  
All of their focus moved to the dance floor and to Brogan and Dustin. Dustin’s hands were placed on the upper parts of her hips while her hands rested consciously on his shoulders in order to maintain the distance she must have felt comfortable with. Jim could see her talking to him, and at one point she must have reminded him to be confident or proud; he instantly straightened.  
As the song was coming to an end, Dustin was giving her his thanks when out of nowhere Billy appeared on the edge of the dance floor, swaying ever so slightly. Jim prickled with worry almost instantly.  
“Nancy,” He called gruffly. “Whatever happens, keep Jane at your side, you got it?” Jim issued his order as he would to his supporting officers. He knew it didn’t need to be said but it was out of habit.   
Billy had already beaten Jim to the pair and had yet to cause any commotion, but Jim was not willing to take the chance and was at Brogan’s side in a heartbeat. Dustin was between Billy and Brogan, not caring about the height difference. Jim scanned the crowd carefully and spotted Steve instantly, making his way slowly to them. There wasn’t a member of staff to be seen.  
“Billy, she said no.” Dustin was bravely holding his own; puffing out his chest and drawing himself up to his full height. Upon seeing Jim, he improvised “Besides, Miss G saved the last dance for the best man in Hawkins.” He smiled victoriously, thinking a member of authority would see the punk back down.  
“This donut munching donkey dick?! Best man in Hawkins?” Billy curled his fingers in front of his face in a pretence to hide his laugh. His voice was thick with drunkenness “That’s almost as pathetic as you thinking she wanted to dance with you.” Billy gave Dustin a sharp shove as Jim felt Brogan step in front of him in a protective gesture. She turned to Jim and shook her head, she didn’t want him to get involved. Jim could feel her trembling as he looked to Steve who had grabbed Dustin and was pulling him reluctantly off the dance floor.  
“Come on Miss L, you can’t say yes to that dweeb and say no to me.” He stumbled and slide in close to her and made to grab her waist, but Jim pulled her close and out of his reach. Jim knew he had to keep his temper in check, but wanted nothing more than to take a swing at this punk.  
“Billy, I’ve promised this dance to Chief Hopper.” Jim noticed how calm she’d spoken, yet she put emphasis on Jim’s name. She turned to Jim before realising her approach of trying not to reject Billy wasn’t what she wanted to say. She turned back toward the boy, making a point of reaching back to hold onto Jim’s arm with her scarred left hand. Jim noted that this incident had caught the attention of Karen Wheeler. “But, even if I hadn’t, the answer would have still been no. You make me very uncomfortable Billy and you have plenty of other admirers.” Her head nodded towards the angry looking Karen. “Go home Billy.”  
With a kiss of his teeth, Billy left the dance floor, pushing anyone and everyone out of his path and ignoring Karen’s shouts as he passed.  
Brogan released Jim’s arm and made to leave the dancefloor. Jim pulled her back with a spin and held her close; his hand finding the small of her back. Her eyes met his briefly.  
“Can’t leave now.” He explained simply and he was right; she had to keep the pretence of a promised dance. Her head and hands came to rest on his chest in a much more intimate pose than she’d held with Dustin. “You are shaking.” Which was an understatement; the tremors coming from her body suggested the early stages of shock. She nodded, refusing to lift her head to look at him. They were no longer dancing, he was hugging her to the music. “How long?” He asked, hoping there was no accusation in his tone. When she didn’t respond, he lifted her head until he could see her watery eyes.  
“Pretty much as soon as I arrived.” Her words came out as a whisper. “He’s never done anything so publicly before. He’s getting bolder.”  
“That was liquid stupidity.” He reassured her with a unconscious kiss to the top of her head. He hadn’t been thinking and he felt his face momentarily flush.  
“I tried to tell Fincher, I swear.” She said with desperation, seemingly too flustered to notice his intimacy. Jim didn’t like this confession; how could the principle allow this to go on. Jim briefly thought about what Jane said about them all knowing about the scalding incident. “He said it would be harmless, that it was because I am younger than most and that it was part of the job.” She dropped her voice to a whisper.  
“Is that why you were teaching Jane at the house?” He questioned. She paused before nodding. “That makes so much more sense.” He said more to himself than her. He knew that Jane had instigated, but he wasn’t certain that’s why she’d agreed. She looked into his eyes with such confusion. She made to say something to him, but the song finished, the lights went up and the question died on her lips. Jim’s hands moved from her waist to her arms.  
“Do you have everything you need in this room?” He asked and she nodded. “Okay, go wait with Nancy and do not leave this room. I’ll be right back.”  
Joyce met Jim at the bottom of the stairs, almost as if she had read Jim’s mind. She had seen everything unfold so there was very little to explain other than to ask if Jane could stay with her tonight. It was something Joyce was more than happy about.   
“Hop?” Joyce asked with a pull on his arm. He turned back to her. “I hope you tell her how you feel. You’ve never looked at anyone like you look at her.” There was no jealousy in her voice, “Not even Diane.” That was a bold statement, and one he would consider when alone. Instead of saying anything, he kissed Joyce’s cheek and pulled her along toward the punch stand where everyone was waiting. Brogan was trying her very best to shake off the shock that was trying to claim her by tidying up and chatting with Mike and Lucas, but Jim could see the fear that had buried itself in her eyes.  
“Dustin, you okay buddy?” Jim asked. “Brave thing you did tonight.” Jim wasn’t quite sure if he was referring to standing up to Billy or asking Brogan to dance. He wasn’t entirely sure it mattered either.  
“It was nothing.” He brushed Jim’s compliment off with a wave, but a broad smile spread across his face.  
“You all got a lift home?” Jim asked the group. Nancy took charge.  
“Will is going with Joyce. Mike and Dustin are with me. Steve’s driving Lucas, Max and Billy home.” Nancy declared. “We didn’t want to let Max get in Billy’s car while he was… you know.”  
“No, that makes sense.” Jim muttered with a nod.  
“Is E-Jane- going with you?” Nancy asked, “I have room in my-“  
“Joyce is going to take Jane for the night.” Jim explained. “Thank you though Nancy. I just need to have a chat with Jane and then we’ll all head out.” He took her to one side. “You okay with staying with Joyce?”  
“Yes.” She said with a smile. “Keep Miss L safe” she gave Jim’s shoulder a squeeze as she’d seen him do so many times before. He nodded with a smile. “Promise.” She narrowed her eyes.  
“I promise El. I promise.” He pulled her into a hug before they all made their way out to the cars.


	7. Fancy a drink?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter speaks for itself.

Brogan was in a state if shock and was rather quiet as Jim drove her home. She could feel his eyes drifting to her every so often. It was almost as if he was checking that she was still breathing. Which, she had to confess, had become a little difficult since the fight or flight adrenaline had dissipated.  
Taking her keys out of her tote was a chore in itself, but trying to get the key into the lock was impossible with her hands still shaking violently. Without a word, Jim placed a supportive hand on her left shoulder and scooped the keys out of her hand and opened the door that led unceremoniously into her living room. Knowing that she would be home after dark, there were a number of lamps on throughout the room.  
“Sit,” He commanded of her, “I’ll get you a drink.” He placed her keys on the coffee table and took himself to the kitchen that was through the archway almost directly opposite the door they had just come through.  
Instead of sitting, she shouted through that she was going to get changed. She couldn’t stay in her prom dress another minute. She peeled off her cardigan that was now sticky with her sour and sweet sweat. The smell screamed fear to her and once she’d taken of her dress she buried them deep inside her washing basket.  
Her comfort clothes would never be what she’d wear in front of someone she wanted to date. However, she didn’t care what Jim thought right now. All she wanted was her old, soft and bent out of shape Bowie tour t-shirt and the thread bare jogging bottoms she wore for bed.  
When she returned to the living room she found Jim settled on the couch sipping a beer he must have found in the fridge. Another sat opened on the table.  
“I figured it would take the edge off.” He explained between sips. All of a sudden, Brogan couldn’t imagine a time without him there, sat so comfortably.   
“I think we need something a little stronger, don’t you?” She padded her away across the room barefoot to her bookshelf where a whiskey bottle stood. She passed it to Jim who instantly whistled at seeing the make and age.  
“You have good taste.” Jim settled back on the sofa.  
“My father.” She say by way of an explanation and dismissing the compliment. “Always have a bottle of the good stuff and you’ll never feel the cold. He was from Scotland originally, before he travelled and met my mother.” She expanded. “I’ll just get us something to drink it out of.”  
“Sensible man.” Jim shouted through to her as he pulled out the stopper and gave it a tentative sniff. “More a bourbon man myself.” He teased as she returned with two mugs. “You have this amazing whiskey and we’re drinking it out of mugs?!”  
“I’m not used to company; I normally swig it out the bottle.” She responded with a smirk and sitting down next to him. He suddenly lost his smile. “I didn’t realise you were such a purist. I think I can dig out-” She made to get up, but he pulled her gently back to the couch. His hands raised her left arm towards him for inspection; she’d forgotten about Billy grabbing her earlier in the night and she was so preoccupied with Jim being there that she didn’t even think to check for the damage he’d made. It was already rather blue and formed into a clear hand print.  
She hadn’t realised she was crying until the weight of the mugs had lifted and Jim had pulled her into a strong hug that tipped her over the edge into a heavy sob. He didn’t tell her to stop, he just stroked her hair until it subsided.  
“Was this him?” His voice soft and level. All she could do was nod. “The scalding incident. Was that him too?” She had known he hadn’t bought that it had been an accident.  
“He held my hand inside the kettle in the staff room. On of those industrial ones. He’d found out I was going to New York for the weekend and not to the game on the Saturday. I don’t think he knew it had only just boiled.” Even as she said it, she knew it not to be true. Billy had wanted to inflict as much pain as possible. “Finch came in after he heard me screaming. Nothing happened to Billy and my medical bills were paid for on the understanding I didn’t push the issue.” She was talking to Jim’s chest; too embarrassed to look him in the eye.  
“Brogan?” He questioned after she was silent for a while. She lifted her head to see him, but wasn’t ready to detangle from him just yet. “Do you have a camera? I need to take a photograph of your new injury.”  
“No, I don’t sorry.” She sighed. “I do have a notebook that I’ve kept details of everything that’s happened. I didn’t know why, but I figured... even though the school won’t help... Would that be of use?” She asked, reluctantly pulling further away from Jim’s warmth.  
“That would be very useful.” Jim nodded, his voice unusually calm.  
“Get that whiskey poured and I’ll go get it.” She implored, making her way into the kitchen to find the book in one of her cupboards. She had refused to keep it in her bedroom and so the only place she thought was appropriate was the cupboard full of cleaning products. “I was impressed with how you handled things tonight Jim. I never thought you’d have the patience.” She took the mug of whiskey from him as she sat down and placed the notebook on the table.  
“Oh I don’t.” He picked the book up and had a quick thumb through the pages before putting it back down. “It just wasn’t my priority tonight. Tomorrow? Tomorrow I’m going to scare the shit out of that punk by telling him each and every law he’s broken while in our interview room.”  
“Powerful. Now I wish you had pulled the badge out.” She downed her single of whiskey.  
“Wasn’t my priority.” He took his whiskey slower, savoring the taste. “I take it back, whiskey is king.”  
“The students of course.” She murmured at the same time as he commended the drink.  
“No, you. You were priority. I needed to make sure and keep you safe.” He said it in such a way that she should have already known that was his answer. Her heart skipped a little as he kept his eyes focused on her. A silence fell between them.  
“Jim, what did you mean when by ‘that makes sense’?” She couldn’t quite believe she was asking. He looked at her questioningly and she realised he hadn’t remembered. She tucked her feet under her legs and shuffled ever so slightly closer to him. “When I agreed Billy was the reason for me tutoring Jane at your house.”  
He blushed at this and he stalled for time by   
swapping his empty mug for his beer.  
“I just thought that maybe, just maybe, you might have been doing it to see me.” He was clearly struggling. “It’s been nice coming home and you being there. I think I was just trying to boost my own ego by think… I don’t know, that you liked my company as much as I liked yours.”  
“You weren’t wrong.” She reached out for his empty hand. “Of course you’re part of the reason. Not that I’ve been using your daughter; I always wanted to help her and it was her suggestion to-”  
“I know. She asked me if it was okay before she suggested it to you.” He explained. “She has also, well she’s been trying to play matchmaker with us. Jane had said you seemed on edge when leaving school so late. I thought she was making it up to get us in a room together. But, hell, if it meant me seeing more of you; I didn’t care if she was making it up.” His thumb was brushing up and down the palm of Brogan’s hand, sending shivers of excitement through her body.  
“So,” She faltered, “You do like me?”  
“Do you know how many school dances I’ve attended? One. That one, tonight. I didn’t even go to my own. I haven’t watched a school game in over fifteen years, yet I’ve been to every single one since I met you, like some love sick puppy.” He chuckled at a realisation “We both like each other, but couldn’t say ‘hey, fancy a drink sometime?’”  
“Hey, Jim?” She asked, her smile wide. She reached for the whiskey bottle on the table in front of them both. “Fancy a drink?”  
“You have no idea how much!” He insisted breathlessly as she filled her mug with a double measure before searching for his own. He placed it on the side table and there was nothing for it but to reach over him to pour. She felt his breath catch as she poured him a generous double too. She righted the bottle and placed it beside his cup to give herself more time close to him. She could feel his eyes on her, almost assessing what he should do next. Brogan wasn’t normally the one to take the initiative but abandoning the bottle beside his mug she kneeled back from over him before she leaned closer, until her lips touched his. His hand found her neck and his fingers delved into her hair as a soft moan escaped his mouth. The warmth of his lips pulled her further into the soft and restrained kiss. Neither of them were willing to show their hand just yet. It was Brogan who pulled away first, before she would not be able to settle for just a kiss. She returned to her side of the sofa and raised her mug.  
“Cheers.” They said in unison, clinking their mugs together. A comfortable silence fell between them as they drank down the amber liquid.  
“You called me beautiful.” Jim stated sceptically, looking at Brogan in a completely different way; it was as if he was reassessing every single conversation they’d ever had.  
“You say that as if no one has ever said that before.” Brogan didn’t see how that was possible. She heard the way the women talked and she knew he’d been married before.  
“They haven’t.” He stated without emotion. “Teddy bear is also a new one on me. That’s not a kind way of saying I’m a bit…” He pointed to his body, that had long lost its definition. “squishy?!”  
“Oh god no!” She implored before realising she actually had to explain. She took the whiskey and skipping the formalitites of her glass, drank from the bottle. “So, it’s sort of…” She couldn’t tell him. It was too forward of her. “Well, I’ve always thought you’d be good at hugs. Something I had confirmed tonight.” She explained, hoping that was enough for him. She could tell from his expression he didn’t buy it. “And… like a teddy bear…” She made to drink another shot, but he swiped it from her hand.  
“You get it when you tell me.” He placed the stopper back on the bottle.  
“I was thinking the best place for you…” She could feel the heat of her blush spread over her face and she crushed it into her open hands, “was my bed.” It was met with silence. She sat up “Do I get my bottle back n-“ His mouth was on hers, stopping any more words. His initiative was firmer than hers had been. She sank willingly back onto her side of the couch as he followed, pinning himself between her legs. She matched his hunger and gladly parted her mouth for him. She pulled him closer by balling up his shirt in her hand. She knew where this was going, and her brain exploded with the surreal timing of it all. Her hand found the band of his trousers before she progressed further and reached to cup his ass. He moaned out a growl as her hand caused his hips to rock. She bit his lip as she felt him grind against her.  
It was only as he pulled away she realised that she was shaking again. He was breathless as he panted out a soft “No.”   
“No?” She sat up to mirror him, so utterly bewildered as to what had happened. Brogan couldn’t help the hurt in her voice.  
“Not, no. Just not now.” He explained grabbing her hands.  
“Okay, I know that’s a prom thing. But isn’t that my line?” She asked with a quirky smile. His head fell into his hand that was in hers. “Jim?”  
“I’m not used to these feelings. I’m not good with them.” He explained with a pained expression as he drew himself up again. “I haven’t felt like this in a long time. If this had even been a year ago, I’d have slept with you months ago and moved on; no thoughts or feelings.”  
“I know.” She placed a now steady hand on his while she grimaced.  
“Reputation huh?” He laugh was empty and laced with regret. “I can’t. Old me, me before Jane. That guy would have taken advantage of this.” His voice was shaky. “I want to.” He looked her in the eyes so she knew that he wanted her. Not that she needed any reassurance, she’d had all the confirmation only minutes before. Only it was clear how much it meant to him by the fact that he pulled away. “But I will not take advantage.”  
“Jim Hopper. I don’t think you ever could,” Her fingers found the spaces between his. Her body betrayed her at that moment by shaking again. He drew her into him and kissed her forehead.  
“Just to be clear, I want to date you.” He spoke into her hair. “Despite the feathers I might undoubtedly ruffle with my change in behaviour, I am asking you out.”  
“Fancy a drink?” She questioned with a sleepy smile.  
“More, fancy some dinner and romance?” He chuckled, kissing her hair once more as she drifted into a deep sleep in his warm and safe arms


	8. A Day in the Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have changed canon so that It’s Billy’s mum and Max’s father in Hawkins.

Jim shook off the haze left by the lack of sleep and excess of whiskey while sitting in his car. When Brogan had dropped off to sleep in his arms he’d fallen asleep too. Unsure of the time when he’d awoken he’d scooped her up and took her to the bedroom. As he pulled the covers over her, he brushed back her hair and kissed her forehead.  
“Don’t go.” She whispered sleepily as he’d pulled away from the kiss. It was all he needed, removing his shirt and shoes he’d joined her on the bed. She didn’t curl into him like many of his past conquests would, but instead reached out and placed her hand on his chest, as if she just wanted reassurance that he was there and safe.  
He’d fallen into a shallow sleep, his subconscious mind not convinced this would ever happen again and wanting to find comfort in remaining aware of Brogan’s touch. As it turned out, it was him who curled into her in the night, his arm drawing her close from her hip and his chin brushing her hair. He’d never considered himself a spooning sleeper and would often detangle in the night. However, Brogan had fit perfectly. It was quite possibly the first time in over a decade that he’d spent the night with a woman, without having sex.  
Jim picked up his radio, brushing off the final mental view he had of her, sound asleep as his day had to start.   
He instructed the officer that picked up to go and collect Billy Hargrove from his house and get him set up in the interview room. As Jim wanted the kid to sweat a little, it gave him time to head home, shower and change.   
Clamping a slice of toast in his mouth, Jim set about reading through Brogan’s notes in order to get an idea what he was dealing with. Brogan was right, it had started so small, a comment here or there in class. However, it’d gotten increasingly problematic and sinister since September when his class moved to another teacher.  
The final entry detailed the staff room incident with the kettle. Jim’s heart felt heavy as he imagined her attempting to get out of what would have been a vice like grip. Her hands were tiny, even opening her palm would not have stopped him from plunging her hand into the water.   
Before leaving for the station, Jim attempted to phone Joyce before he remembered she hadn’t replaced her handset since the last time it had been destroyed. Jim partly thought it was because she liked the peace. Out in the car he picked up the channel the boys, Max and Jane used to communicate.  
“Kiddo, you there?” He questioned the static. “Jane?” He waited. “Will? Anyone, come in?”  
“Pop?” A voice thick with sleep replied.  
“How are you kiddo?” Jim asked, his heart slowed at hearing her voice and knowing she was safe.  
“Good. How is Miss Lusk?” She replied with concern. He didn’t know what to say; Brogan was scared and exhausted. However, he knew he’d sparked a new happiness in her by revealing his feelings.  
“Things are difficult for her at the moment, but I’m going to help her.”  
“That’s good Pop. She trusts you.” It wasn’t a guess, Jane knew that Brogan trusted him. He was grateful that Jane couldn’t see him blush.  
“Listen Jane. I’ll be around in about two hours. You good to stay there until then?”  
“Yep. It’s Saturday, Ms Bryers is making pancakes.” She explained with joy in her voice.  
“That’s good kid.” He turned on the car’s engine.   
“See you later Pop.” She signed off without another word.  
Billy was indeed sweating when Jim arrived. He was dabbing at his forehead with tissue he must have been given from the toilet; curls of white tissue clung to his temples where he’d been too rough. Jim was watching him through the glass while sipping on the coffee Flo had brought him. Brogan had been right, he wouldn’t want any other coffee than hers again.  
“He doesn’t have a clue what he’s here for Chief; he keeps dropping himself into more trouble by suggesting illegal activity that he thinks he is here for. I’ve started to keep notes.”  
“That’s good work Cal. I’m just going to deal with this one thing today. But get those, and this,” Jim threw him Brogan’s notes. “typed up and start a rap sheet.” Jim shook himself loose and transferred himself from one room to the other.  
“William Hargrove.” Jim read from inside a brown folder. It was full of blank paper that Jim would later replace with those that Cam was going to type up. This looked more official than bringing in Brogan’s notebook and made Billy’s eyes bulge with fear.  
In fact, all Billy’s bravado had gone, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Jim slammed the folder on the desk and sat on the chair opposite Billy. Jim noticed that in the harsh light Billy looked younger. It made him look vulnerable and, Jim considered, innocent. He knew it was bullshit, but a jury would be swayed, just like the mothers of Hawkins.  
“I have plenty of witness statements about your behaviour last night. Quite disturbing.”  
“Don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t do nothing. I had a couple of drinks and went home.” The kid sucked his teeth. It pained Jim to see the confidence back now he knew what he was there for.  
“You forget.” Jim tapped the file. “I was there. I saw how you were with Miss –“ Jim made to check the file. “- Lusk.”  
“Look. Jim is it?” Billy began. ”The women of this town love me. That Brit bitch has been trying to jump me all year, saying because I’m not in her class anymore, it’s okay. She doesn’t like that I’m seeing-“ He caught himself. He’d almost tripped himself up. “someone.” Jim remained impassive, his face unreadable. “Can I make a statement? Press charges?” Billy questioned.  
“No!” Jim laughed. “But what you can do is listen to me. I have many statements here, including my own that details your attack”  
“I would hardly call it-“  
“Sh sh sh.” Jim cut him off. “-your attack on the dance floor. I also have witness statements explaining earlier in the night you propositioned Miss Lusk, and how you physically assaulted her when she said no. You left some nasty bruising and the photos will be going here in this file once the film is developed.”  
“What can I say; she likes it rough.” Billy taunted. Jim had enough; he stood and pinned Billy’s head to the table with an almighty slam. Jim bent down and drew his mouth close to his ear.  
“Listen you little shit. I don’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth; so the victim crap can stop. I saw how you were with her last night and I saw how you affected her. You so much as breath in her direction again, I’ll cut your balls off and feed them to you.” Jim released his head and returned to his calm and composed position on his chair. “Keep doing what you’re doing kid and you’ll end up in jail. While you may be the bitchen play thing for the bored housewives here, but you’ll just be someone’s bitch in prison. Got it?”  
All Billy could do was nod.  
“You’re free to go Mr Hargrove, but next time…” Jim paused for effect. “Next time, charges will be set.”  
The kid couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Jim knew he shouldn’t feel good about how it went, but it made him feel powerful. It made him feel good enough for her, knowing he’d done his job to protect her.  
“Almost took it too far there Chief, wouldn’t you say?” Calvin said as Jim came out of the room, into the main area of the station.  
“If it stops that boy from parading round like a violent peacock, I have no complaints.” Flo defended Jim.  
“It’s not your complaints I’m worried about Flo.” Cal started to bite his nails. “Couldn’t you-“  
“I did what I had to Cal.” Jim insisted in a tone that ended the conversation. “Anything for me Flo?”  
“All quiet Hop.Just the usual bust up. Phil is on it. You know what that means?” She smiled widely. “Paperwork.”  
“You know where I’ll be in you need me.” He declared as he picked up a stack of files from his desk. There was a time when he would avoid the paperwork at all costs, but now it was something he could do at home and spend time with Jane. “I’m going to pick up Jane first. I’ll be home in about an hour.”  
Jim decided to pay a visit to someone else before he made his way to pick up Jane.  
“Chief?” Mr Finch asked in surprise when he opened his door to Jim. “Everything okay?” He asked, stepping out onto his porch. Jim had taken his hat off and was passing the rim of it through his fingers.  
“Do you know what sexual harassment is?” Jim asked, leaning against the porch post.  
“Sorry?” Peter’s tone raised defensively.  
“It’s a term that was coined ten years ago Pete. It covers a wide range of actions. Anything that’s intimate and unwanted.” Jim attempted to make eye contact, but Peter’s eyes darted everywhere but Jim.  
“I don’t get what you’re trying to say here Jim, but I don’t like it.”  
“Billy Hargrove.” Jim stated simply.  
“So, arrest him, he’s a plague on Hawkins. What’s this to do with me?”  
“I thought he was harmless Pete?” Jim’s voice spiked with accusation. “That his actions were part of the job?” Jim watched realisation dawn on the Principle’s face.  
“Well, I- Jim, that was last year. I did my best; I took the class off her. She hasn’t said anything since -”  
“Because you trivialised her complaint and bought her silence.” Jim snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The 1964 Civil Rights Act means you have a responsibility to your staff. She could sue you.”  
“He could kill me.” Peter responded.  
“You’re shitting me?” Jim stood up straight and took a step towards Peter. “He’s a kid, Pete. Pull on your big boy pants and do your job before someone gets hurt.”  
“Jim, it’s not that easy. Women are-“  
“No, Pete. Karen Wheeler does not speak for for this town. Certainly not when what she’s doing is considered-“ Jim was about to lose his temper, so decided a different approach. “I want my daughter safe, I want her happy, Pete. Seeing her teacher petrified does not make my daughter happy.” Jim had him backed up to his own door. “Retrieve your balls from Billy Hargrove’s pocket and shut this shit down, or Peter,” Jim brushed imaginary bits from the man’s shoulder. “forget the lawsuit, I’ll kill you my God damn self.” The fear in Peter’s eyes was all he needed to see. “Have a good weekend now.” Jim said sweetly before making his way to his car.  
Joyce was holding two mugs at her open door when Jim arrived not long after. He took it with a grateful nod. They sat on her porch in silence while Jim drained his out of thirst.  
“Do you think we were this bad?” Jim asked Joyce as he caught her up with what had happened to Brogan. “Thinking the world would bend to our will?”  
“Hop, you were the worst and even you spent your weekends helping old Claire Fontain getting her groceries. You asked Stacey permission to kiss her, on your third date.”  
“You knew about that?” He chuckled, placing the empty mug on his knee. That was a world away from the kiss he’d instigated last night. He’d taken it like a hungry animal. What made him smile now was the fact that Brogan had responded in kind. She was hungry for him too. And she’d thought about him being in her bed. That certainly had been a heart fluttering and ego boosting thought for him. Brogan Lusk found him attractive.   
“Stacey told me. Said you were a gentleman marauding as a rebel.” Joyce told him, bringing his focus back. “That Billy is a new breed of dangerous. He’ll inspire a whole generation if we’re not careful.” She paused. It was clear she had something to say, but was trying to decide if she should. “His dad. His biological dad. Hop, he served in ‘Nam.” She explained softly and Jim’s heart sank. He didn’t know how, but he knew what Joyce was going to say next.  
“Don’t Joyce.” He whispered weakly, his eyes closed against her news.  
“His father was part of the Pinkville Massacre.” Joyce placed a hand on Jim’s arm. “I’m sorry Hop.” She said when he hadn’t stirred.   
“Massacre at Songmy they call it now.” He pulled his hand away from his face. “How involved?” Jim asked, not wanting to know but needing to.  
“Not sure. Rumour has it he was shot in the foot quite early on for refusing to get involved. But you saw all the reports; they all played down their involvement.” She drained her mug. “I overheard Karen. It’s why they moved here. Billy’s mom was worried about her husband’s influence so they upped and left, with her boyfriend and his daughter Max in tow.” She paused. “It’s because of Billy I sent Jonathan to Lonnie.”  
“Huh? I thought he was suspended?” Jim questioned.  
“Oh, he was. For beating the crap out of Billy. He’d been bragging about his dad. How he’d punished those women, gave them what was coming. How he’d been taught how to handle a woman like that teacher.” Joyce’s eyes glazed over. “Jonathan said he couldn’t stand the way he was talking about Brogan, he knew the school wouldn’t do anything. So he swung, and swung hard. Karen was nursing Billy for a week after.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jim asked with a bite to his voice. She recoiled, angrily.  
“You don’t get to be offended. You disappeared Hop. I dealt with it the best way I knew how.”  
“But, Lonnie?!”  
“Lonnie’s his dad. Not you. I wasn’t going to come crawling to you when you were avoiding me.” She raised her voice. “I needed a friend, not a replacement. Were you hiding because you felt guilty because of Bob? Or because you moved on since I’m no longer a challenge?!”  
“That’s not fair.” Even though he said it with conviction, he knew it wasn’t true. She didn’t respond and he didn’t know what was the answer was. “I’m sorry.” He said instead, looking at the floor.  
“Besides.” Joyce broke the painful silence. “Things the way they are between him and Nancy-“ Jim looked up questioningly. “- a story for another day.” She explained. “It’s best he gets away from Hawkins for a while.”  
“Pop.” Jane came out hesitantly. “You okay?”  
“Sure kiddo. You ready to go?” He asked, rubbing a hand over his face. She nodded, clutching her prom dress in her hands. Jim and Joyce stood. She collected the cups as he placed his hat on and shuffled his feet nervously.  
“You should come over for dinner one night this week. I’ll cook your favourite.” Joyce said to Jayne. “Both of you need to stop being strangers.” She looked to Jim.  
“Sure.” He said with a smile. He hugged Joyce and whispered, “Thank you.” Before they made their way to the car.  
“Any time.” She waved as they both climbed in and drove away.  
The afternoon went smoothly; both Jim and Jane sat in the kitchen completing their work. The station didn’t ring for Jim and Jane finished her work in record speed. Jim called it quits about 4pm and it was beginning to turn dark outside. He checked in with Flo before double checking with Jane that Mike was still planning to come over for dinner. With a happy nod Jim began preparing the steak and potatoes.  
Jane jumped up onto the counter as Jim picked out some potatoes from the crate. Jane picked out an apple and began biting into it.  
“Chips or mash kid?” He asked, already predicting her answer.  
“Mash!” She said through a mouthful of apple.  
“Coming up.” He pulled out the peeler and got to work on the first spud. Keeping his eyes on his task, his heart slowed to an almost stop. “So, kid.” He took a breath and willed himself to be a little less nervous. “How would you feel about me taking out Miss Lusk out on a date?”   
The lack of answer chilled his blood and he couldn’t take the silence any longer. He risked a look at her. He considered the thought that perhaps she hadn’t heard him. Instantly, her unreadable face broke into a smile.  
“Ask her, ask her, ask her.” She pulled the phone off the wall. “Now!”  
“I already have.” Jim chuckled, pointing back to the phone’s cradle, indicating he wanted it putting back. He then went back to the potatoes in order to distract himself from her infectious grin. “But, I want to make sure you’re okay with this first-“ He began.  
“Is that why you and Ms Byers were fighting about?”  
“No, well… sort of kid.” He explained. “I’d let her down is all. Now, answer my question; are you okay with this? She’s your teacher and it’s a small place. We’ve only just figured how things work, just us-“  
“But, you’re happy!” Jane said and Jim wasn’t sure if it was a statement or a question.  
“Yeah, I am.” He smiled, making quick work of the dinner. The pan was full of salted water and ready for the potatoes once it started to boil. Next was to prepare the meat. “I’m nervous. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date.” He explained honestly.  
“Just be you. She likes you. A lot. She smiles more.” Jane smiled as Jim blushed.  
“And you like her?” Jim asked. Jane nodded excitedly before they fell into a comfortable silence.  
“Pop? What’s ‘Nam?” She asked with a slight shake to her voice. “I didn’t mean to listen, but you seem really sad when Ms Byers brought it up.” She twisted her hands together. “You don’t have to tell me!” She rushed to add. “I just don’t like you sad.”  
“I’ll tell you Jane. I need to tell you. Can you give me time?” It was a hard thing to ask, most kids her age already knew everything about it. It wasn’t so much the war itself that caused him so much pain, but the complications it caused for him. Ones closer to home and things that she’d never be able to fix. He shook away the encroaching memory.  
“All the time in the world Pop.” She dropped down from the counter and hugged Jim, almost drawing out all of the negativity he had manifested with those three letters. They both heard the door go and Mike call out. “Love you Pop.” She kissed his cheek before going to greet her boyfriend.


	9. Setting a date

Brogan awoke at midday; the longest sleep she’d had in a long time. In the kitchen she discovered a note from Jim telling her not to worry, to have a good day and lastly, that he would pop over after dropping Mike home that night.  
Wrapping up against the February chill, she found herself at the library doors without thinking. Marissa was happy with her boyfriend, but Brogan knew she’d been hurt by Jim.  
She reminded herself that there was currently nothing to tell and absolutely no one would know they’d kissed. Brogan shifted the handles of her bag back onto her shoulder and made hr way inside.  
“Morning Marissa.” She called brightly as she walked towards the checking out table.  
“More like Afternoon.” Marissa replied, eyes down on a catalogue sheet. “Late night at the formal?”  
“Sort of.” Brogan kept her answer vague. Marissa was a friend, of sorts. They’d drank together a lot while Marissa was single, she’d picked Brogan up after her evening in the hospital. She’d even met Marissa’s rather sweet boyfriend quite a few times and they certain had time for each other. However, the biggest problem was; Brogan didn’t trust her.  
“You won’t be up for a drink when I finish work then?” Marissa asked with a pout, her eyes raising to look at Brogan.  
What could Brogan say? This is where it became a lie instead of an omission; she shook her head and mouthed sorry. “Work and then back to bed.” Brogan explained as Marissa’s face dropped further. “Where’s Clark anyway?”  
“He’s away. He will be all week.” She explained and Brogan almost gave in and agreed to one drink. But it was never the one with Marissa. Even If Jim wasn’t popping round, she really didn’t want to spend her evening in a bar, drinking.  
“I’ll be in my usual spot, if you need me.” She excused herself and waved to the librarian before delving into the library. Brogan always took work to the library; it provided her with a change of scenery and a large, naturally lit table to work at.  
Today’s task was grading papers from her two Freshman classes. Most teachers would mark them how they were collected; it made it easier to pass back out, but Brogan preferred her own way. She sifted through them and placed the worst and hardest to read at the front, followed by any of the remaining ones that didn’t go past the one side of paper, saving her high achievers for last.  
Unsurprisingly, Dustin’s was actually at the top. While he had a wonderful insight and he really was trying to improve his writing, but it still looked like a spider had crawled all over his page.  
Lucas on the other hand had a neat and almost meticulous writing, however, he only just about managed to write on the second side of his page; which was due to the fact that he’d missed two of the four points the class were expected to write about.  
Brogan had just finished marking Max’s analogy of the book when movement in her prereferral vision caught her attention. The mop of curly hair disappeared behind one of the stacks and she knew instantly who it was.  
She found Dustin with his head in an upside down book on bee keeping during retirement. Her heart melted as she took in the sight. While she considered pretending she hadn’t seen him and returning to her work, she knew that wasn’t the best approach.  
“Mr Henderson!” She called with a smile. “Not avoiding me are you?” At this, he feigned that he hadn’t seen her and asked rather bashfully how she was. He took in her uncovered arm and blanched even further.  
“Come and sit down Dustin,” She guided him to the table as if he was an injured puppy. She could have kicked herself for taking off her jumper, but it had gotten quite hot while she worked.  
“I am so sorry.” Dustin mumbled, refusing to look up from his hands. “I should have protected you better,”  
“You did a brilliant job Dustin. You stood up to him when no one else, not even me, would.” She tipped his head up by the chin so he would look at her. “I’m grateful for what you did.”  
“But-“  
“But nothing Dustin Henderson. You are a gentleman and you did everything right.”  
“If I’d not asked you to dance-“ He began to explain.  
“He still would have found a reason to do something, and he’d already caused this.” She pointed to her bruised arm. “Don’t blame yourself.”  
“You’re not mad?” He asked and Brogan realised that not only did he blame himself, she thought he’d blame him too. She shook her head.  
“Besides, who could stay mad at you?” She ruffled his curly hair.  
“You’ve met my mom remember.” He responded dryly. There was a moment of silence between them. “And I’ll end up living with her forever.” He said glumly. “I never get the girl.”  
“She’d probably right in front of you and you’ve never even noticed.” Brogan hadn’t realised how that sounded until she saw him smile broadly. “Not me, you muppet.” She hit him on the head with the pack of unmarked papers. She had actually been thinking about the girl who sat in front of him in class. Se was way too shy and he clearly didn’t know she existed. “Sheila.”  
“Oh.” His eyes glazed over as he processed all his interactions with her. “Ohhhhh.”  
“But, Dustin.” She pulled his attention back. “Just because she likes you, doesn’t mean you have to like her back.” Brogan thought about Jim and Marissa. Not that she really thought Marissa had any more feelings beyond the fact that Jim was someone she couldn’t have.  
“Everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend though.” He looked sadly at his feet.  
“Not everyone Dustin. What about Will?”  
“He’s not- Will’s different.” Dustin became defensive. “He’s not ready.”  
“Okay,” She didn’t miss a beat. “What about me?!”  
“Please.” Dustin scoffed. “Everyone knows you and Chief Hopper are going to be a thing. Everyone. Ev-ry-one!” He sounded it out. “Nancy told me on my home last night that she’d never seen anyone so jealous. So green he could have been the Hulk.” She could tell Dustin was quite proud of this achievement. “Couldn’t lose out to a better man of course.”  
“Who says I’M interested?” She questioned sceptically.  
“Miss L,” He stood. “The one thing that I want is someone to look like you do every time he walks in the room.” He ended his statement with his regular purr. “Plus, Jane says you two flirt like crazy when you’re over for her study sessions. We had to explain to her why you two had not gone a date yet.”  
“A date with who?” A voice asked from behind Brogan. Her eyes squeezed closed for a moment before she turned to meet Marissa’s gaze.  
“Miss L, Miss Alcock.” Dustin doffed his invisible hat and scarpered.  
“Hopper?” Marissa questioned, brandishing a mug of coffee for Brogan. She nodded by way of an answer. Marissa sighed. “You’re making a mistake Brogan.”  
“And it’s mine to make.” Brogan tried to keep the bite out of her voice, but Marissa flinched anyway.  
“Well, its not really any of my business but I’d also be careful about who else you hang around with.” Her eyes drifted to the same space Dustin has occupied.  
“What, exactly, is that meant to mean?”  
“There are rumours-“  
“There always are. You were the one who told me to take it lightly!” Brogan hissed.  
“You are beginning to get a bit of a reputation. I certainly wouldn’t be too happy-“  
“I’ll stop you right there Marissa.” Brogan collected her things and stood from the table. “Don’t be a bitch. How many times have I complained to you about Billy?! How often did I tell you I was scared? Don’t stand there and tell me you believe that he’s a victim all because, what, Karen has come mouthing off and you’ve been invited to the Wine O’clock club,” Brogan began to walk towards the exit.  
“He won’t commit you know. He’ll use an excuse, claim you’re using him.”  
“Marissa, it’s just a date.” Brogan sighed. “I don’t plan my wedding just because a bloke wants to buy me dinner.” And with that, she left the library.  
Brogan took the long way home, intending to stop off and buy things to make lunch on her way. It gave her a break from marking and allowed her to walk off her anger.  
As it turned out, the market had freshly baked bread and cooked chicken left. It was the simple things that really made him smile.  
“Slow day George?” Brogan asked as the young man packed up her rotisserie chicken.   
“Yep! You’re early today.” He handed over the chicken.  
“Too cold, too tired. I just want to get home and under a blanket.” She smiled at the shop owner’s son. “How’s your dad?”  
“He’s good Brogan. His leg is on the mend; he’ll be serving you again in no time. Have a good evening there.”  
Brogan took herself down to pick out a bar of chocolate to walk straight into Mike and Karen. Damn, not the person she wanted to see.  
“Will you just pick one Michael!” Brogan heard Karen hiss at her son. She was attempting to back up out of the aisle when Mike saw her and called out a hello. Brogan had no choice but to approach with a smile wide on her face.  
“How are you Miss Lusk?” Mike asked.   
“I’m okay chuck.” Brogan nodded toward the chocolate stand. “Milky Way. That’s Jane’s favourite.”   
“Isn’t that a little bit personal.” Karen snarled her response. “Wouldn’t you say you’re a little too close to your students.” It wasn’t a question.  
“She tutors Jane, Mom. I’ve picked, lets go!” Mike’s cheeks flared. “Sorry Miss L.” He apologised while pulling his mother away. Brogan could here Karen complaining as she walked towards the pay desk. She waiting until she heard the opening and closing bell before she made her own way to pay for her own shopping and head home.  
Brogan sat in her comfy chair that was angled away from the window so whatever she was reading could catch the light. It was much more difficult to make notes while the paper rested on her knee, but it wouldn’t matter once she got into the flow of writing.  
Jane’s writing was clear, yet very emotive. The class had been asked to complete a comparative essay on to passages. Brogan had worked with Jane in the weeks beforehand, but hadn’t helped her with the essay itself. She was very proud of Jane’s work.  
Jane had picked up on the use of weather in the first piece. Its contrast between the hot and cold within the passage itself, which contrast completely with the second passage that was void of anything at all. It occurred to Brogan that Jane identified a little too much with the dark. While the words she’d written stated the void represented a consistent state that the other lacked, Brogan felt like there was more to it.  
It was Jane’s point on the passage of time that hooked Brogan’s attention. Her understanding of both pieces was good, but the insight she gave for how there may be no concept of time within a place devoid of weather or light. Jane spoke of an echo that would go on forever a chill settled on her shoulders like a blanket and creeped into her bones.  
When a knock came at the door, Brogan looked to her watch and an inexplicable time had passed. That was until she reassured herself that she had fallen into a deep sleep for over 4 hours, despite not remembering the drift into sleep. She shook off the feeling of confusion and untangled herself from the blanket and made her way to the door.  
“Hello beautiful.” She uttered to Jim as she took in his broad smile. “How was your day?” She moved aside and allowed him to come into her apartment. She felt that flutter of nerves; not knowing if she should lean in to kiss him.  
“The usual.” He said as Brogan closed the space between them. “Billy won’t be bothering you anymore.”  
“You pulled him in?” She had blanched at his name, but smiled as the news progressed. Jim nodded.  
“I’ve-“ Jim began.  
“No, I don’t need the details. Thank you, thank you.” Brogan realised she was a lot shorter than him as she reached up to kiss him on the cheek. It wasn’t enough for him and her pulled her into a kiss of his own. “Thank you,” She whispered.  
“Any time.” He pulled away sooner than Brogan would have liked. “So, I’m here to set our date. When would you like me to take you to dinner?”  
“How about we work around when you’re free?”  
“Wednesday. That’s my evening off.” He replied.  
“Perfect. Hey, did you want to stay for a drink? Or food?”  
“I do, but I can’t.” His hands found her waist. “I’ll see you Monday if I get home for tea with Jane?” Brogan couldn’t help but smile at the hope her filled the question with.  
“I’m sure you will.” She insisted playfully, he hands resting on his arms. “Oh, we have Dustin’s blessing. Apparently you were so green with envy you could have been mistaken for the Hulk. He’s decided the gentlemanly thing to do was step aside.”  
Jim’s laugh was infectious. She took a step closer and drew him into a strong hug.  
“There anywhere you want to go? I’m a little out of the game here.”  
“Critters will be fine.” Brogan said with a shrug. There wasn’t much choice in Hawkins and she didn’t feel comfortable at the Italian; the restaurant wasn’t her style. He raised his eyebrows at her. “What? It’s casual, it serves wings and the beer-“  
“Is weak. I know a place outside of town. You’ll still get your wings. Lets save Critters for many, many dates down the line.”  
It was now Brogan’s turn to look a little shocked. “Yeah, I said it.” He responded to her facial expression. “I see many dates in our future.”  
“You really do, don’t you?!” She said, looking at him with bright and smiling eyes.  
“I do.” He kissed her longingly. “Who got into your head?” He asked and it dawned on him the second the question was out. He growled in frustration.  
“Please, don’t do that.” She implored, her hands moving to his chest. He made to apologise. “Oh, no! It’s sexy. You growl like that and I’ll have no choice but to keep you.” Her honesty made both of them blush.  
“That really isn’t going to discourage me.” The kiss he pulled her into was full of power and wanting. She immediately returned the passion, wanting so much for it not to end there. It was only when she was rendered breathless that she pulled away. Her lips tingled and begged for more. “I have to go.” He kissed her head before breaking away for the door. “You want me to speak to her?” He asked as the door opened.  
“She’s not worth it.” Brogan shook her head. “Besides, if you do, she’ll think I’ve got buttons to press.” Jim nodded at this. He looked to his car and then back to Brogan. “Sweet dreams J.” She said by way of saying it was okay not to be staying. It struck her that she’d never called him that before, but it felt right. He kissed her softly before walking away with a smile. He’d opened the car door before speaking.  
“J? I like that.” Without another word he got into his car and drove off, leaving Brogan with stinging lips and butterflies to remind her that he found her attractive.


	10. The Big Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very nervous about this chapter. Enjoy.

Brogan didn’t need to ask if he wanted to come inside as he pulled his car up beside her door, killing the engine and leaving the car before stepping around to open her side. They moved silently from his car to her apartment and right on through to her bedroom with a fevered urgency.  
There was something about the way he’d kissed her at the movies that told her he couldn’t wait any longer and tonight was the night. It wasn’t lustful or urgent but soft, deep and lingering. There was a craving for more laced within each kiss.  
She could feel his nervousness mingle with her own as he kissed her now. His hands pulled her closer and it felt like he was stalling.  
“J?” She asked breathlessly, pulling away from his kiss. He trembled as she straddled him, his back leaned against the headboard. There was a slight shiver in his hands that had found a home at the small of her back. She looked into his eyes questioningly as her hands found his.   
“It’s stupid.” He muttered, a slight pink tingeing his cheeks. That wasn’t enough of an answer for Brogan, and sure enough the silence was broken by a expansion, “I’ve not had sex sober in a long time. I’m just-“ she claimed his mouth, killing the sentence in his mouth. She rocked slowly, feeling his swollen crotch awaken even more for her. He growled longingly as she found a rhythm that hit her own aching swell.  
“You’re doing just fine.” Her words came out in a jagged breath, arching her back and accepting the trail of kisses he traced down her neck. She removed her top to reveal a lace bra she had long considered redundant. Sex had been something she’d given up on when she’d moved to Hawkins.   
His hands moved below her calf-length skirt and were making their way up to her pants as she undid the buttons of his shirt. Brogan smiled at the delight etched on his face. He’d discovered the bows at each side of her hips. She hadn’t planned for him to find them in this manner, but she was happy he did as She could feel his exploration to find the ends; he gave a hesitant tug and he felt the fabric give a little. She urged him further with an encouraging nod. Jim pulled both sides and she felt the lace fall away, leaving him with free access.  
As his thumb from his dominant hand found her plump hardness and his other hand cupped her bottom to keep her positioned, she let out a sharp, satisfied gasp. She could feel the blood rush to welcome the new guest and she rocked her hips into his thumb. She was so consumed with pleasure that Brogan only noticed she was laid on her back when the pressure and speed on her nub changed. With Jim’s hand no longer restricted he was free to experiment with his touch. Less self-conscious, he became attentive to her breathy hitches and soft moans that were gaining traction.   
A disgruntled moan escaped her mouth as everything stopped, her back had arched at the ecstasy Jim was causing and she wasn’t expecting it to stop. Brogan didn’t dare open her eyes, for fear that he’d realised it wasn’t her he wanted. Her worries were laid to rest as she felt his lips on hers, his hips nudging her legs further apart. It saddened her to feel denim on her thighs, his penis was straining against the fabric as he rubbed up against her.  
“Pants! How are they still on?” She whispered to him, biting his bottom lip a little rougher than she would normally.   
“I’m too happy and distracted here.” He whispered through a chuckle. She heard the unbuckling of his belt while he kissed her neck. For a moment he detached from her to remove the skirt that was now just in the way and his jeans; Brogan heard the heavy thud before she felt the weight of him on her again.  
His kisses travelled south and past her belly button before beginning again on her kneecap and down her thigh. She felt her flesh part before an entirely unfamiliar sensation sent her pleasure centre into overdrive. Her limited experience had never delivered this sexual activity before; his tongue was providing the perfect stimulation and building speed.   
Brogan’s hands found his head and delved into his soft hair as her breathing increased and her muscles tightened.   
She found herself begging for him not to stop or change a single thing as an orgasm hit and sent her body bucking hard into his tongue.   
Jim trailed kissed down her thigh before lying beside her, a proud smile etched on his face. Her normal response would have been to ask if he’d felt it; reassuring him and herself that she had indeed orgasmed. However, she knew there was no need; there was no way he missed the muscle spasms that he had caused.   
Brogan fought off the drowsiness that threatened to take her. She left a trail of kisses down his chest as she scooted herself down to gain access to his member. With a tug of his boxers, she freed him from their restraints. It was now her turn to feel nervous; she felt her inexperience scream at her. Needing further time to recover, she pushed her legs off the bed until she was able to take him into her mouth, slowly at first. Once she had an idea of what she could take, Brogan built up a rhythm that gained soft moans from Jim. His noises caused an ache in her core that was now begging for him. Jim brought her focus to him by tugging on her arms, a condom free of its wrapper in one hand.  
Jim made to move her onto her back but she breathlessly shook her head. She didn’t want to submit to him just yet.   
“Please.” She insisted, pushing him back onto the bed and kissing him longingly. He seemed uncertain, as if he was giving away control, but lay back down as requested and allowed her to raise a leg over his body until she was straddling him once again. Her kisses came harder and faster as the tailbone of her spine rubbed up against his cock with anticipation.  
“Please, don’t move.” She could barely get out with her sharp breath as she raised herself and guided him to her entrance. All he could do was nod; the anticipation was threatening to pull out his vocal chords with a pleasurable growl.  
Her sharp gasp mirrored Jim’s as she reached the hilt. The simple task alone threatened to release a second orgasmic wave and Brogan was certain Jim felt the muscles clench around him in a pleasurable welcome.  
With her hands steadied on the headboard she rocked forward so that only his tip remained inside. Brogan bit her lip to hold back her moans of pleasure. She looked to Jim to find him watching her, his hands resting on her thighs. She took it as slowly as she could, her eyes never leaving Jim’s as he pulsed with pleasure each time she encased him to the hilt.  
Jim softly pulled on her arms until her lips were in kissing distance. She felt her bra come loose and fall onto his chest as he righted her with a wink.  
Brogan, now knowing her depth was able to start with shallow rocking that gained an arched back from Jim and hit close to a pleasurable spot for her. Only when the moans from Jim softened did she speed up her thrusts and deepen her release and plunge.   
Her eyes remained closed as she took cues from Jim’s breathing to speed up at intervals. He stuck to her word and allowed her to take complete control. But she could feel her own impending release challenging her rhythm and she knew he wasn’t quite there.  
“Jim.” She called softly and she stalled. Jim reached for her hair and tucked it behind her ears. He took her in and she suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed.  
“God, you are beautiful.” He uttered, and she believed him. “Especially when you smile like that.” He rolled his hips and she felt her walls pulse around him. “You need me on top?”  
“Yes, yes please.” She crumpled onto his chest and kissed him lightly. He smiled wickedly as he switched places.  
Immediately he hit deeper than she ever thought possible; claiming her ultimate pleasure spot as his own. There was no withholding her moans as he found a steady rhythm that hit her spot every other second. He growled into her ear with a restrained ecstasy. She pinned him into her with her legs to stop him thrusting, grinding him around her g-spot instead. They both could feel the steady pulsing of her muscles from an already ongoing orgasm, but her jagged breath and movements told them both there was another, stronger one waiting in the wings.  
‘Please, J.’ She could hear the begging in her voice. ‘Don’t. Hold. Back.’ She whispered, freeing his legs from hers. His head lowered until his forehead hit the pillow and his lips brush her ear; the moans echoed in her ear and ..... She expected a furiously fast final act, but instead, he took a deep, slow and steady approach that had Brogan’s orgasm build deep within her. Jim’s breathing quickened and hitched, but his pace and rhythm remained.  
It was as he almost painfully moaned her name and bucked into her did her own orgasm escape along with his, leaving her lightheaded and breathless. Brogan felt him take his own weight and withdraw before her eyesight softened and went black. Sleep was taking her whole, not even giving her time to thank him. The only thing she was aware of was the fluttering aftershock of her final orgasm.  
‘Brogan?!’ Came a soft voice and a gentle shake an unknown length of time later. Her eyelids were heavy and wouldn’t open.  
‘Hmmmm?’ She heard her voice come out thick with sleep. She felt him draw her into him.  
‘Just making sure you’re alive.’ He muttered into her back happily. “You passed out there.”  
‘Alive. Home. Just jelly-like’ Brogan explained, already drifting back into a blissful sleep. ‘Sorry.’ She muttered absentmindedly as a thought occurred to her.


	11. Coffee and Contimplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter

‘What on earth are you sorry for?’ Jim asked with an incredulous chuckle and a flutter of kisses to her shoulder.  
‘Jello, I meant jello.’ She corrected. ‘I’m all soft-‘  
‘Me too!’ His retort gained a soft laugh and although he did instantly feel a stirring in his groin at the reminder of the ecstasy he’d just felt, he was content and in no hurry to disturb the sleeping woman. Being as far from sleep as he could be, he proper himself up with his right arm and with the other he brought her damp hair back behind her ears.  
‘Give.’ She muttered, and it occurred to Jim that she had tumbled into a half sleep and her words were merely her subconscious talking. ‘Me time.’ He waited patiently, his heart and lips full to bursting with joy that he’d been the cause of her passing out. ‘We’ll go again in 5.’ He laughed loudly at this. She was undoubtedly gone until the morning; he’d never seen a woman so spent by him ‘I will not leave thou unsatisfied tonight.’ She responded to his laugh with a sulky slurred voice. ‘Not a Juliet,’  
He rested back down and pulled her into his spooned body, ignoring the yearning the closeness her body caused.   
‘I am satisfied.’ He whispered sincerely, resting his chin on the top of her head. A disgruntled growl sprang from her mouth.  
It was true. ‘Beautiful lady, you’re mis quoting Shakespeare at me after taking charge. I thought you Brits were the very definition of laying back; I am VERY satisfied.’   
He had truly forgotten and underestimated the impact of an emotional connection. In truth, most conquests went unremembered in a heavy mix of beer and liquor. He certainly didn’t have a woman’s orgasm bring him to his own. Other than his ex wife, Jim could not recall the feeling of any other woman’s pulsing and that was more out of practice than anything else. This, this was something else entirely.  
Jim knew it had to be tonight and that he had to be sober, and that was all before his heart and groin ached at the sight of her in the outfit she’d chosen to wear. He half wanted to cancel the movie and march her back into her apartment.   
The film had felt like one of the epics his father made him go and watch when he was young. The memory of his father stung, so he pushed it away in favour of the woman in his arms. She made the first move at the cinema and rested her hand upon his knee while she reached for the popcorn with the other; no need for the fake out of a yawn that would have had his hand on her shoulder.  
It had been the most amazing way to end their fourth date, he mused as she stirred ever so slightly in his arms. How he’d ever doubted that Brogan felt something for him, he’d never know. She wore her affection for him proudly, even knowing that it would cause issues with individuals in town. If she was aware of people staring as they’d walked into the cinema, Brogan didn’t show it. He’d bought the tickets while she’d bought the popcorn and drinks.  
Joyce had been right; he’d never felt this way before. His heart swelled with so much adoration that it was almost painful. Boy, he was in trouble. She was either in his life for good, or she was going to break his heart.  
“Thank you.” He whispered, closing his eyes and embracing sleep with his arm around Brogan’s waist.

He was awake before Brogan; the dawn sun bringing him to and reminding him of the bliss he’d experienced that evening. She had shifted onto her front in the night; her hair thrown all over her pillow and hiding her face completely. His body couldn’t help but react to her beauty; it ached for her and he realised he was already hooked.  
The alarm sounded on the bedside nearest him and he slammed it off with the hope he’d gotten it in time to not wake her.  
He hadn’t, and Brogan began to stir. Her eyes fluttered open and fixed on him before her face broke out into a smile.   
“Did you sleep well?” Jim asked. “You scared me a little last-“   
“Shhhhhh,” Brogan cut him off with a palm placed firmly over his mouth. “Coffee first! Then we reminisce or even recreate. It’s the only acceptable order of a morning.” She explained, gathering her thick dressing gown from the chair by the door.  
“Oh god, I’m going to marry you.” Slipped out of his mouth before his brain had registered the thought, pulling her pillow into a hug. He’d said it so quietly that there was no way on earth she’d heard. The admission was true; she was a woman after his own heart. He considered all the times he’d hushed Flo; it was nice to be on the receiving end.


	12. Routine

It had been two months since she’d taken his breath away and stolen his heart with that first kiss and dating Brogan was only surpassed by one thing. For Jim, it wasn’t the sex, it wasn’t sharing their orders when they went out to eat because Brogan always picked the most interesting thing from the menu and liked to share. It wasn’t even the adorable double dates they had taken Jane and Mike on. Not that Jim was quick to use the word adorable; it was Brogan who had ensured it went smoothly. Seeing Jane and Mike spilt a slice of cake had filled him with such bittersweet joy that he’d allowed himself to imagine what Sara’s life would have been like. Brogan gave him that strength and kept the darkness away as he remembered his biological daughter.  
It wasn’t even the amazingly bright smile she used every single time she woke up beside him that surpassed the fact that he was dating Brogan Lusk; it was the comfortable routine and sense of happiness that came from her being his girlfriend. His words had stalled when he’d brought it up while eating burgers one regular and impromptu Wednesday night at the newly refurbished Benny’s that had not been renamed since being taken over.  
She’d laughed at first, not realising how nervous he was. However, the second she realised how important it was to him, her smile told him everything. She’d then joked that while she wanted to be considered his partner, she couldn’t help but feel a well of happiness in saying that Jim Hopper, Chief of Hawkins Police was her boyfriend. She mused if she could get business cards made up and he’d made a mental note that it would make an ideal joke Christmas present.  
Since that night, there were very few times that they stayed at her apartment and last night was no exception. The party had joined Jane and Brogan at the cabin while Jim had been at work. He came home a little after 7 and they were in the middle of a campaign. He’d sat an read, sneaking occasional glances at Brogan who had them all eating out of her hand as Dungeon Master. It was only when Nancy had arrived to pick Mike and Will up that they realised how late it had gotten. Jane, upon giving Jim his nightly hug, did the same to Brogan for the first time. It was always going to be Jane that said I love you first. Jim had bet on that.  
However, he hadn’t expected the rush of emotions he’d feel upon hearing it. There were things Brogan needed to know, things that he was certain could end their relationship and it scared him senseless. Now, however, wasn’t the time to be going down that train of thought. Certainly not when Brogan had stood in his bedroom doorway and beckoned him with a sultry wave. Jim suspected that she felt the exact same love he did, but she wasn’t ready to say it, Jim could tell that much. So instead, she showed him; sex that night had been a slow burn that Brogan took charge of with a silent pleasure. He wasn’t certain if she had found her own release as she had worked him to such a state that his orgasm had him out for the count. He’d felt her hand brush through his hair before becoming the big spoon. He’d felt so protected in her arms and he didn’t ever want to leave them.  
For the first time, he’d not been awake before her. He found her pottering around the kitchen in his deep red checked shirt and a pair of shorts. Her hair was piled on her head and flecked with pancake batter. Jim watched her move the jug to the hot plate. As she poured out two pancakes, his left arm reached around her waist while his right hand explored her exposed outer thigh. He growled a thanks into her neck while his body responded to her closeness.  
“Where’s Jane?” He asked, hoping to not be disturbed. “Did she go for her run?”  
“You think I’d let you get so worked up if she was here?!” Brogan retorted with a soft giggle, ignoring the exploring hand that had now found itself traveling upwards to her braless breasts. “I was coming to wake you up once I’d made the pancakes.” She flipped them to reveal golden seal.  
“You make me very happy.” His hands now matched his muted sexual thoughts and wrapped tightly around her waist. “Thank you.”  
“J, you okay?” She asked as he took in her angry and still rather pink hand. He kissed the palm that showed no sign of damage. “J?”  
“I have to take Jane to the hospital out of town next week.” He explained softly. Brogan turned down the heat, flipped the pancakes with quick precision before turning to face him. “Dr Owens moved out of town, but he’s the best and understands what she’s been through.”  
“Okay. You want me to come with you?” She hadn’t even let the conversation skip a beat. “I can do the driving. I can’t imagine its fun for either of you.”  
“No, no! It’s okay. Just wanted you to know that we’re probably not going to be around for a few days.” His head tilted inwards toward her, until his forehead rested on hers.  
“I’ll miss you too.” She had misread his sad tone.  
“I feel like I’m lying to you. I don’t know how to tell you about what happened-“  
“Then don’t. You’ll know when the right time is. I’m not going anywhere, so tell me when you’re ready, when Jane’s ready.” She studied him for a moment. “Jane telling me she loves me really has done a number on you, hasn’t it?” She asked, her finger tracing around a button on his own shirt.  
“Just, worried is all. One of us will get hurt.” He uttered. “Me, I can cope with. But you two are my girls; I couldn’t bare the thought of hurting you.” She reached up on her bare tip toes, cupped his cheek and kissed him firmly.  
“She’s just a little better at this than us. We’re not quite ready to be vulnerable yet.” Brogan stroked his beard while he mentally shouted ‘But I want to be. I love you, I love you, I love you.’  
“Will you be back for the karaoke thing on Friday?”  
“For sure. Not going to miss our first official outing as a couple.”  
“I’m sorry for not taking more of an active role in last nights-“ He didn’t get to finish; her mouth was on his and she brought his hands down to cup her bum. His body instantly responded and he lifted her onto the counter top. “I’ll make it up to you this morning.”  
“While I’m not going to say no,” She hooked her legs around Jim’s waist and pulled him into her. “You did good last night too.” If it was possible, he hardened even further at this. Her hand was skimming his waistband as the phone’s piercing bell cut them off.  
“Hold that thought.” Jim kissed her before answering the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up guys; things are going to get rather dark over the next few chapters. You’re going to get a little idea as to why Brogan is in the US and a darker Hopper than you’ve ever seen.


	13. Enter the Sandman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Information about Pinkville is mostly accurate: the branding of the victims is however, fictional.

Jim couldn’t catch his breath.  
He’d locked himself in the police station bathroom and clung to the basin as if the water flowing would change the speed of his heart.  
She’d looked like Brogan , right down to the natural curls that had been drenched in blood and glued to the stirring wheel. It was not how we was meant to spend his Sunday.  
Whoever had killed her, had raped her and marked her as his own. And right now, they didn’t have a clue who she was. It could have been Brogan that he’d watched being put into a bag. He was worried he wouldn’t shake the feeling until he had a name for the woman.  
He’d called her up as soon as they’d arrived back in the station. She’d been breezy and told him that Jane was back and they were going to play Scrabble together. Once he’d put the phone down, he’d only just made it to the toilet before his food exited his stomach violently.

“Okay Chief. Want to go for dinner before we get going on this?” Phil asked with bite, to be kicked in the shin by Calvin when Jim put himself between the two on the opposite side of the desk.  
“Don’t be a shit Phil!” Cal warned; he’d clearly seen it too. There was no doubt Phill had seen it. He was still sore about Jim and Brogan dating. Apparently nearly two years grace wasn’t enough time to make his move and a frost had formed between the two since Flo had asked after her not too long after their first date.  
“Where are you at with the licence plate?” Jim chose to ignore the barb. He’d found it had a two fold benefit in the sense that it required no effort on his part, and it pissed Phil off no end that he couldn’t air his grievances that Brogan was his.  
“Not in her name. It’s a rental and the guy paid cash so they’re not certain that the name he gave was real.” Phil looked through his notes “Charlie Billy Calley. Sounds like a bogus name if ever I herd one.”  
“Pinkville.” Jim muttered, trying to piece together something that had come home to roost. “Phil, that marking on her collar; the carving? Did you draw it?”  
“No. I took a photograph. They’ll be ready in two days.”  
“Phil, you’re meant to do both man.” Cal reprimanded him. Cal had been the support Jim needed for the last year or so.  
Jim took a scrap of paper and began making confident strokes. It was times like this he really craved a smoke. Something. Anything to take the edge off. He showed Phil the drawing who smiled widely and slammed his hand on the desk triumphantly.  
“That’s what was carved into the body’s at My Lai?” Cal questioned Jim, to only gain a solemn nod. “Shit.”  
“It’s Billy Hargrove’s father. He must in town. He was at that god damn massacre.”  
“Stretching there Sherlock.” Phil scoffed. Jim prodded the image.   
“William Calley Jnr was the lead of the Charlie brigade. Billy is short for William.” Jim hated that he had to explain himself. “Cal, I think it would come better from you if you wouldn’t mind informing the family. Perhaps see if the ex wife has a photograph, find out if there’s any injunction that stops him being within a certain distance of the family. It’d be nice if we had that to hold him on, rather than murder.”  
“Wait, I can do that.” Phil pushed all his offence into his whine.  
“Phil, you failed to make a quick sketch of a vital bit of evidence; I don’t trust you to take a shit and not leave skids in your pants right now.” Jim declared without thinking, and without another word , Phil stormed off.  
“It wasn’t her Jim.” Cal patted him on the shoulder before making to move away from the desk. Jim suddenly had a chilling thought.  
“Cal, only speak to the mother. Don’t let Billy know.”  
“You think this could have been an initiation?” Cal asked, skeptically.   
“That woman was Brogan, right down to the shoes she was wearing. It could have been a father, son bonding session. Just see if Billy has been spending a significant amount of time away from home recently.”  
“You mean other than giving it to the Wheeler mother?! They were caught doing it between a wall and a dumpster behind Clunkers last week.”  
“That, Cal, was an image you could have kept to yourself.”

Jim was not quite ready to deal with what he walked in on at home. It was nearing 11 pm and both girls were in the kitchen. Brogan was holding a towel to Jane’s face which was covered in blood.   
“I’m so so sorry.” Brogan blurted towards Jim, tears stained her face.   
“S’not her fault.” Jane explained thickly, her free hand holding firmly onto Brogan’s aftm. “S’not. Your. Fault.” She repeated. Jim looked from one woman to the other.  
“I was having a nightmare.” Brogan explained, her hands visibly trembling. “Jane came to wake me and I, oh god.” Brogan crush day has a little better today but it is under mpled. “I punched her.”  
Jim’s eyes moved to Jane. It was a small movement, but it was all that was needed for Jim to know that Brogan hadn’t caused the nose bleed.   
“You broke my daughter?!” He mocked, hoping Brogan would see the funny side. “Her nose is her best-“ it occurred to Jim that Brogan wasn’t listening. “Kid. This ain’t your first nose bleed; hold your own nose.” He growled playfully. Jane rolled her eyes and took hold of the towel.  
“Gunna clean up.”  
“Going to.” Jim corrected, pulling Brogan into a hug she was trying hard to not accept. “Hug me damnit” he growled but she pushed him away gently at that. “Fuck, please hug me.” He hated how vulnerable he sounded. She relented and melted into him.  
“I didn’t-“  
“Please, don’t worry. Just hug me. Just, right now be prepared to never let go.” His voice was thick with tears. “You didn’t do anything. It was a nightmare. You’re both okay. There’s no harm done.”  
“It felt so real J.” She whispered into his chest.  
“They always do.” He pulled her tighter. “I’m going to check on Jane. Meet you in bed?”  
She nodded into his chest.

Jane was wiping down her face when Jim appeared in the bathroom doorway.  
“What happened?” He asked, his voice neutral. He sat on the lip of the bath.  
“Upside down happened.” She muttered. “It wasn’t her fault.” It wasn’t just her nose; Jane had a split lip; Jim was quite impressed at the right hook his girlfriend had.  
“Upside down?! Wasn’t it just a nightmare?” Jim asked and Jane looked at him skeptically. “We closed the gate.” He explained.  
“It’s still there Pop. She was in the Upside down. So was the man. He was chasing her in wolf form. He became human. i followed her into the Upside down.”  
“Dream though. She thinks it was a dream right; did she see you.”  
“She didn’t see me. She only saw him. She punched him. Or so she thought.”  
“You think you can hold on a few more days for the meeting with Doc Owen. We can ask him what this means.”  
“Pop, I couldn’t help her. The Upside down, I don’t know if it was me, or her. But something wasn’t right. She was all there without her body being there. Like me.”

Brogan was sat in the chair by the window when Jim came in. He placed his hands on her shoulders and bent over the back of the chair to kiss the top of her head.   
“Can I ask you to stay he every night this week?” Jim asked, his eyes closed and fighting his exhaustion.  
“This about what you were called in on today?” She looked up to him with her reddened eyes. He nodded sadly, tears slipping from his eyes as she twisted around to cup his cheek in her hand. He nuzzled into her before crumpling into soft, unrelenting sobs.  
“Jim, baby!” She guided him to the bed and helped him undress. Stopping only to place a kiss on his forehead when he pulled her into his arms.  
“Please don’t die.” He begged. “Please don’t ever be the other side of a crime scene. I don’t want to identify your body.”  
“We’ll be old and grey... and ideally in the middle of hip replacing, knee cap shattering sex.” Jim laughed a that, his hands running up and down her legs in a slow rhythm. “I’m not going to ask you what happened today. But, if you need to talk, you can tell me.” She pushed him back onto the bed. “Want a hot drink?” He shook his head.   
“I just need to curl up with you.”  
“As you wish.” She turned out the lights and joined him in bed. They just sat looking in silence for a while. She stroked his bearded cheek while he’d put his ear to her chest and listened to the soft beat of her heart.  
“Was your nightmare really bad?”  
“Oh, it was silly really. I’d just finished reading a story one of the kids had written for class. Think it was Dustin’s. It was about a werewolf. It must have planted a seed. It felt so real though. I could feel him. Breathing on me. Grabbing at me. I lashed out. And it turns out it was Jane trying to wake me. I must have given her such a fright.”   
Jim could feel himself drifting but managed a “I’m here” before sleep took him, all the while wondering if Dustin and the others had been writing about the Upside Down to gain extra credit.


	14. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it’s been so long. I’ve lost this chapter. Twice. I have pretty much the next ten chapters ready to type up so it should be much more regular.  
> I think I will continue after this point, just because I don’t want to end it how I currently have it ending.

“So, what you got for me Doc?” Jim asked, crammed inside the doctor’s small office while Jane was getting dressed in another room. The air was thick with smoke from the doctor’s cigarette and it set all Jim’s senses into overdrive. It was only the fact that Sam had not offered one that was keeping him from placing one between his lips. “Please tell me you found something to explain it?” Jim asked as Sam was bent over a pile of Jane’s paperwork. Jim’s patience was wearing thin; he just wanted to get Jane home. He felt exposed and at risk, never mind guilty for putting the girl through all the tests and needles.  
“Her hormones are spiking unusually high. It could be triggering her abilities.” Owens explained, but the strain in his voice gave Jim the sense that there was more to it. He remained silent, knowing the good Doc would fill it. “I need her to keep a track of her cycle. I think there’s another chemical being released with the hormones. One the body isn’t used to in such large doses. It could be the compound that was used in the drug her mother was given. I’m going to provide you with a pack that will help you draw her blood at certain points in the month.” He sat back on his chair and observed Jim who still didn’t look satisfied. “Whatever it is, we’ll sort it Jim. There’s still so much I don’t know about. What went down during those experiments, what they were given or if the company was aware of her pregnancy. I suspect they were, but I can’t find proof.”   
“And my girlfriend? Could it be possible Jane was asleep and subconsciously entered into her dream?” Jim questioned. “I mean, she was in Hawkins at the time of both incidents, but I don’t think she knows anything about the Upside Down.”  
“It’s highly likely that it was Jane’s influence Jim.” Dr Owens explained. “If Jane was overwhelmed with hormones, it is entirely possible she influenced the dream. Almost like a dream walker.” He looked at Jim carefully. “How much does she know; your girlfriend?”   
“Nothing,” Jim replied instantly, “yet” Jim knew the Doc wasn’t happy; his face fell dark and Jim internally groaned. He knew what was coming; a lecture.  
“Do be careful Jim. The more people who-“  
“Sam, I’m not one of the kids here. It’s not a fling, or some flash in the pan. This woman has the potential to be in our lives for a very long time. Jane loves her, and has been so much better since she came into our lives-”  
“Except for the-”  
“No. She is not the trigger. She’s a…” Jim struggled for the words to explain. “She’s the one,” He rolled his eyes at the cliqued saying “So long as I don’t keep lying to her.” Jim prickled at the fact that Dr Owens didn’t think he’d thought of all of this. He shut his eyes and sighed, wishing him anywhere but where he was.  
“What is wrong Jim? You are not yourself!” Dr Owens countered. “Something happen?”  
Jim considered to tell him there and then; just letting go of the fear and describing the darkness that strangled him and filled him with such desperately bleak thoughts. Jim needed someone to know about the devastating ghosts he couldn’t escape from. He ignored them the best he could, but at times like this he could only submit to the hellish memories.  
“It’s nothing Doc. Just a case I’m working on has me on edge.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t what he wanted to say either. “My girlfriend having nightmares about the Upside Down hasn’t helped either. She was so scared and upset that she’d hurt Jane.”  
“About that Jim. I’m going to prescribe a sedative for Jane. It should stop any other dream invasions. Maybe then you won’t have to tell-” Dr Owens pulled the prescription from the pad and handed it to Jim. He’d paused, waiting for Jim to reveal Bogan’s name. He wasn’t ready for that though. “- your girlfriend.”   
“I feel like I’m lying to her Doc. Telling her is something I might have to do. Especially if things are going where I think they are.” Jim wrung his hands together. Jane had been mentioning asking Brogan to move in with them, and he could sense that Brogan herself was waiting for the question. It was the logical step, she was practically living with them anyway. Jim had to admit to himself that it would have happened before now if it wasn’t for holding back this information from her.  
“I can’t force you into anything Jim. Just remember, the more people who know, the greater risk Jane will be in. You have to be certain you can trust her.”  
“I trust her with my life.” Jim responded without missing a beat. If he was in a lighter mood, he’d have rhymed it with ‘some day she’ll be my wife.’ But the lightness eluded him.   
“It’s not yours at stake though, Jim. You have to trust her with Jane’s. Jane has to as well. She’ll run if she doesn’t.”

The rest of the time at the hospital was a bit of a blur to Jim. He recalled Jane coming into the office, dressed and ready to go. In a haze he’d gotten her prescription filled and was driving them home on muscle memory alone. He was so consumed with his own thoughts that he wasn’t even aware of Jane being in the car until she spoke.  
“I trust Brogan.” Jane uttered softly, bringing Jim back to the present. What the Doc has said shook Jim to his darkened core. He’d lost so much family over the years, it scared him how much the thought of losing Jane hurt him. “I won’t run.”  
“I know kiddo, I know.” He reassured her absent mindedly.   
“She won’t either.” Jane continued. She realised, even if he didn’t, that was what he was more worried about. “We need to tell her. All of it.”   
“Not yet kid. Soon. But not yet.” He sighed. Jim was being selfish,but he knew he couldn’t handle Brogan walking away right now. If he was honest, he wasn’t handling anything right now. He wanted oblivion, in the form of the pills that were rattling around inside his pocket. All he needed was a day. He could hide in the trailer, use only one of the tablets and chase it down with beer. He’d be out of it, for 10 hours at the most. No one would have to know; Brogan and Jane would be in school, he could tell work he needed to take a day. One day of oblivion, of welcoming the darkness and he’d be strong again.  
“What is ‘Nam?” She asked after letting an uncomfortable silence fill the car. His thoughts had betrayed him once again.  
“Not now.” He uttered, his eyes focused on the road ahead. Of course that would be the bit she’d pick up; the one part of the need for oblivion he didn’t want to talk about. He was too close to the frayed edges of his own psyche to engage in talk about that.  
“When?” Her voice had a bite to it.  
“Not now. Soon, but not now.” He snapped.  
“Then stop thinking dark thoughts about it if you don’t want questions. Darkens my mind too. It’s not fair.” She spat angrily. It pulled Jim up short. He was causing her to be sad. She was right; it wasn’t fair. None of it was.  
“I’m sorry Jane.” She couldn’t help hearing these thoughts, just as much as he couldn’t help having them. Now was not the time for a lecture on private thoughts.  
He entered the house twenty minutes later with a stormy Jane to an empty house and a ringing phone. Brogan would be in work and not due back for another 2 hours. Before he picked up the receiver, Jim knew it was going to be Cal.   
Jane was already up in her room as he took in what was being said.   
“On my way.” Jim said after Cal informed him that another body had been found.


	15. Concern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! I hate this chapter, but it needed to happen.

“Gross.” Brogan blurted as she came face to face with the couple making out against the sinks in the ladies. She closed her eyes to compose herself as they detangled. “Billie, get out.” She commanded with a bark, her eyes on the floor. “Not kidding, get the fuck out.” Brogan would congratulate herself later; the fact that he didn’t immediately snipe at her meant he was scared. “Now!” She roared and he scarpered, his rubber soles squeaking against the floor as he ran. This was not how she was expecting this evening to turn out.  
Jim was a no show for the karaoke night. If she was honest, he hadn’t come back from the trip he’d taken with Jane. He’d been cold and distant, to the point that she was grateful for his absence. She suspected he wouldn’t show the moment she’d asked him that morning and it was only confirmed when she dropped by the station early afternoon and he’d forgotten all about it. She knew he was busy with this case, but deep down Brogan knew there was something more to it.  
She’d hoped, with Jim not going, to be able to return to her flat and have some time to herself. Jane had insisted Brogan join the Party. Brogan had relented on one condition; she didn’t sing. It was nice to see that Joyce had joined Will and it gave Brogan adult company even if it was a little stunted at first. It had been Joyce who had spotted Karen and Billy heading off to the toilets together, but it was Brogan who had sent Nancy on a mission to order food for the table while she went to stop things from becoming a scene.  
Karen, who had remained silent and stunned for the last minute, began pacing between the bathroom stall and the sink in front. Her lipstick was smudged, her heels scraped against the floor as her feet misjudged each step and her eyes were wide and bloodshot. Brogan was certain she’d taken drugs at some point in the last hour.  
“You have-“  
“No right? Yeah, I know that.” Brogan held her hand out and wide, as if she were shepherding a frightened lamb.   
“What I do, is no concern of yours.” Karen spat before returning to chew her dry bottom lip.  
“Yes, but I am concerned.” Brogan chose her words carefully. “You can’t think this is normal behaviour?! You’re married and he’s, well he’s a child.”  
“You make it sound so sordid.” Karen scoffed, hugging herself as she paced. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous now he’s not sniffing around?”  
“He put my hand in a kettle of boiling water and left it in until my screams brought someone to the staffroom. I’m good without his attention, thanks.”  
“Then what is your problem. I can do what I please, what makes me happy without having to answer to you. I’m in love, why is your nose all out of joint?!”  
“Because I’ve just had to stop your daughter from walking in on you dry humping jailbait.” Brogan insisted. “You’re a talking point at Hawkins High and you’re actions are making your children miserable. Can you imagine what it must be like ? Your daughter hears about what you’ve been up to with Billy because he’s bragging about it in the gym, the field... anywhere he can.”   
Karen stood still at this; almost as if it was new information that she even had children. Her eyes glazed over, almost as if it dawned on her the damage she’d done.  
“I’ll complain to the principle!” she said as if that would fix everything.  
“Karen, stop. You’re not in love with him. You’re in an unhappy marriage and you need to get out of it before things go too far.” Brogan hissed.  
“What would you know about it?!” Karen stamped a heeled foot and placed a hand on her hip. In that moment Brogan contemplated what to tell Karen: that both her elder children had opened up to her about it. That Both had cried in her arms. Instead, Brogan chose another, much more personal, truth.  
“Do you know why I am here in America?” She asked thoughtfully. It gained a head shake. “I escaped an arranged marriage. After my father died, my mother took over the-“ she air quoted for effect “-family business. She always had high expectations; so she wanted to join our family with another. One with connections, and money.”  
“How did... what about your family? Why didn’t you just marry the guy to please your family?”  
“I wasn’t happy.” Brogan explained honestly.  
“That wouldn’t have been enough for my family.”  
Karen muttered to the floor. In that moment, Brogan saw how young Karen really was.  
“Why do you think I put a mass of water between me and my Ma?” Brogan laughed bitterly. “My mother doesn’t know where I am and I don’t have direct connect with any of my brothers. My fiancé helped me; he didn’t want to go through with it either. We knew we’d end you much like yourself. This was the only way out for me; plane to New York and a new life.”  
“Does Hopper know?” Karen asked, her eyes narrowed.  
“Not yet. You needed to know, he hasn’t.” Brogan responded. “Point is, you have three children who love you. You don’t need to do this to escape. You’ll have my support, but don’t go from one unhappy relationship to another.”  
“Four.” Karen corrected. Before Brogan had chance to question her correction, there was an almighty bang as the toilet door slammed open and an figure hung in the doorway and looked over the two women.  
“Which of you is it?” The man hissed. Brogan knew instantly who he was; it was Billy’s father. He was as scary and intimidating as the reports had suggested. He looked like a football playe. “Which one of you has been fucking my boy? Which one of you is Karen Wheeler?”  
Brogan instantly turned and stood between him and Karen. She mentally told herself to ignore the fact that his hands were like spades and could crush her skull at any moment. Brogan wondered how he’d gotten this far into the bar without anyone seeing. She also wished more than anything, that Jim had turned up.  
“Go home! You’re not getting through me.” Brogan puffed out her chest in an attempt to seem stronger. The man just laughed.  
“You must be Lusk. My boy told me all about you.” His index finger found its way to the shoulder socket of her arm and traced its way down to her elbow. “You shouldn’t be here.” His breath was acrid and sour. Brogan hoped he’d move away before she threw up.  
“I’m right where I’m meant to to be. Protecting the mother of two of my favourite people in the whole world.” Brogan snapped. If only she knew if anyone had seen the guy come in, all it would require was a little more time.  
“She’s an abomination that needs to be put down.” He declared, a heavy spike of pain radiated through Brogan’s face and then there was blackness. It was only for a second or two, but it was enough time for Brogan to find herself on the floor and the man to make up the distance and pin Karen to the wall.   
As Brogan stood gingerly, she heard Karen’s whimpers. Touching her forehead covered her hand with blood; she’d hit her head on something on her way to the floor. Ignoring it, Brogan closed the gap between them all and pulled at the man’s arm with all her force.   
“Don’t do this, let her go.” Brogan shouted as she watched Karen’s face turn purple. With such a simple shrug, Brogan was back on the floor with no more fight left in her.  
“I’d run if I were you little Brit. You’ll be next and i think you’re next will snap like a twig unlike this one.” His eyes never leaving Karen’s. it was unnerving how intense he looked at her.  
“I’m sorry.” Brogan whispered as she crawled crablike away from them both. The blackness threatened to take her again and her eyes closed without a fight. When Brogan pulled her eyes open again, the scene had changed. She shook her head free of the fuzz before looking again.  
Jim had his gun trained at the base of the man’s skull. He’d released Karen, who was in Cal’s arms sobbing while he reassured her.   
“Phil, cuff this shit. Take him to the station and I’ll meet you there.” Jim explained as Phil stepped through and pinned the man’s hands behind his back. Brogan still couldn’t remember his name.   
To Brogan’s hazy spinning head, it was only a blink of an eye before she was left alone in the women’s bathroom with Jim.   
“Are you okay?” He asked coldly, holding out a hand to help her get to her feet. He didn’t want the truth, he wanted permission to be angry. She tucked her blood matted hair behind her ear, trying to not wince as her head pulsed.  
“I’m good.” She couldn’t look at him.  
“What the hell were you thinking?” He implored with a frustrated tone. She could sense that it was taking everything he had to keep his temper in check.  
“I wasn’t.” Brogan replied simply. It was the only thing she could do to not cry. She knew tears would only feed his temper. She shook off a wave of nausea, but the black haze came with it.  
“Brogan?!” His hand hit the wall, mere inches from her left ear. He’d been speaking to her and she’d not been listening. “Can you take my daughter home?” He snapped. Brogan swallowed hard and prepared to say yes, but she was saved from Jim’s anger once more by Joyce’s voice.  
“I’ll take her. Jane is already waiting in my car Hop.”  
“I never asked you to get involved.” He rasped as he walked away without another word leaving Brogan lost for words.  
The journey home would have been strained if it wasn’t for Joyce. She let Brogan sit in silence and diverted any of Jane’s questions. When they had pulled up outside the cabin, Joyce sent Will in with Jane.  
“He’s going through something, isn’t he?” Brogan asked, her eyes closed tight. “and I can’t help?”  
“No, hunny, you can’t.” Joyce’s voice was soft and it occurrenced to Brogan that it was what a mother’s voice should sound like.  
“Can you?” Brogan asked, her eyes finding Joyce’s.   
“No, Brogan. I can’t and I wouldn’t, even if I could. Hop needs to help himself. Black holes only suck other things in; just leave him be and he’ll come back to you.” She studied Brogan for a moment; the absent minded nod and the heart broken, twisted, half smile. “It’s not anything you’ve done. You just haven’t lived here long enough to see the dice fall on this face. Between you and Jane, you’ve brought him back to life.” Joyce paused to smile at Brogan. “Will you be okay? Do you not want me to take a look at your head before I go?”  
“I’ll be able to patch it up.” Brogan whispered softly reaching for the door handle. “Thank you Joyce.”

Upon taking in her reflection, Brogan had decided that she was in no mood to detangle the blood from her hair or attempt to stop a fresh flow of blood that a clean-up would cause.  
Instead, she changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed. Not long after, a soft rap came at the door. Jane came in with two mugs.  
“Peppermint.” She declares as she passed it over. “Good for bangs.” She padded all the way around to the other side; Jim’s side. She jumped up and sat crossed legged, sipping on her own drink.  
“Thank you.” Brogan turned on her side and propped her head up to face Jane. Brogan was happy that without even speaking about it, they had mutually agreed to stay together tonight. Hopefully wait for Jim’s return. Brogan momentarily imagined waking up in the morning, looking over Jane, to see Jim on the other side. His arm reaching out to Brogan.  
There was a distinct and familiar movement to Jane that pulled Brogan out of her thoughts. Her cupped hand dropped something into her mouth and washed it down with her drink.  
“What did you take Jane?” Brogan tried to keep the edge out of her voice; she’d taken it in front of Brogan after all.   
“Helps me sleep. Stops the nightmares you saw. Pop thinks it was my dream, not yours. Doc said yes too.”  
“The dr you saw this week?” Brogan asked, confusion etched on her face. “But Jane. I’ve been having that dream since I arrived in Hawkins. I didn’t even know you then.”  
“I have them too.” Jane replied with a shrug. The medicine stops them. I don’t like the dreams.” She drained her mug, placed it on the side and shuffled down on the bed.  
“Me too hun.” Brogan watched as the medicine took hold and Jane fell into a deep, dreamless, sleep. It wasn’t long before Brogan herself stopped fighting her heavy eyelids and took a more fitful approach to sleep.


	16. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy my lovelies.

If you lose something, it’s always in the last place you look. That applied to people just as much as items. At least that was what Brogan realised at 4pm the following afternoon and the light was bleeding out of the sky.  
She had been everywhere; the station, the renovated Benny’s, the bars and even the library. That had not been fun, and while Brogan could have bet her life on the fact that he wouldn’t have been found within the Stacks of Hawkins’ Library; she wouldn’t have rested until it had been ruled out.  
She had even tried her own flat and the cabin again before even considering his old, and abandoned, trailer. She’d checked through the windows and spotted him, motionless on the couch and clutching his head. Brogan gave herself an hour to make some plans and allow the anger to seep out of her pores. She had been scared that something had happened. Then she was seething; It was her weekend. It wasn’t as if it was time off for her; she had papers to mark. Then something else entirely settled in her bones. She’d heard things about soldiers returning from war. Both here, and at home. Brogan’s own grandfather was focus of talk amongst those she worked with at the Great Homer Street Market. How he’d taken his gun out one night and, in a lapse of memory, thinking he was still in the trenches found himself at St James’ cemetery behind the cathedral. He’d shot at a monument that he’d thought to be the enemy. The bullet ricochet and hit his carotid artery; he bled out before anyone found him in the morning. Enemies don’t just give us the dead; they kill the living too. That was what Bert on the fish stall always said. Brogan didn’t understand what he’d meant until she’d seen how hollowed out Jim looked.   
The door to the trailer home opened reluctantly, as if it didn’t want to betray its owner. Brogan instantly understood why he never wanted her to see inside; it was a maelstrom of rage. Between the clutter and dusty windows, she had almost given up getting to him and letting him come back when he was ready, but she banged into a hidden side table. As she clutched her shin, her eyes trained on the Jim shaped mass on the sofa. His eyes were open, staring. She couldn’t leave him. The pain was worth it.  
“Jim?” Brogan called softly, stepping through debris of newspaper and long empty cans. He didn’t stir, even when her weight on the sofa moved him. “Jim?” She implored, placing as hand on his knee. That, he registered as if it were a fly on his skin; a small flinch but there was no connection with her. She took a quick look to her left; there on the windowsill was an unopened bottle of scotch.   
“Oblivion.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I just wanted to be free of the memories for a while.” He explained, his eyes still not focusing on anything in particular. He tapped his skull with a rhythm that chilled Brogan.  
“That’s okay.” Brogan soothed, her hand reaching to his matted hair. “I can help.”   
“I don’t des-“  
“Don’t you dare!” Brogan snapped with a tone that brought his eyes instantly to hers. “Sorry.” She levelled her voice. “I have the car outside, why don’t we go for a drive? Get you out of Hawkins.”  
“I didn’t drink.” His speech was heavy and laboured. Phil had told her that he didn’t arrive at the station the night before. He’d been left to process Neil and interview Karen Wheeler. Both Phil and Cal reassured her that it was no thing to worry about before Flo explained that while he hadn’t done it in a while, it was quite common for Jim to disappear for a few days; returning with alcohol sweat.  
“I noticed.” She smiled wryly.  
“I wanted to, but I didn’t.” He stumbled over his words. “I was scared I wouldn’t come back.” His words internally broke her.   
“You’re here, you’re safe.” She whispered as she felt his hand reach out for her waist. “Will you come and get in the car? Let’s get away for a while.”  
“I’m tired.” He explained.  
“You can sleep in the car.” Brogan knelt and put her forehead to his. “Please Jim.”  
It wasn’t long before she’d coaxed him out and into the passenger seat. Before she started the engine, Brogan handed over a tablet and a can of coke. He looked at her with such a lost and vulnerable sadness.  
“It’s one of Jane’s sleeping tablets. I thought it would help.” Brogan smiled warmly. Jim immediately handed it back.  
“I can’t. I ...” his words failed him. “Please, take it back.” They were the last words he spoke. As she turned on the engine, he fell back into his coma like state, his eyes focused on her. It reminded Brogan of how they first met. How she was so inside her own head that she didn’t speak. So she filled the silence with plans; white noise so Jim did not know he was alone.

Brogan drove for two hours. Chattanooga was a place Jim had mentioned once or twice before with a fond mist of nostalgia in his eyes. While she was certain camping was his preferred way of vacationing, he was in need of a little more comfort than what a tent could provide.  
Joyce has warned her against this course of action when she’d phoned and explained her plan with the additional request of looking after Jane. Joyce also said that it was very much Brogan’s decision and that she would support her; something Brogan was very grateful for.  
“I’ll be back in a moment.” Brogan whispered as she killed the engine outside a brick building that had long been repurposed from a carriage hall to a hotel.   
Getting the keys and paying was easy enough and Brogan made swift work of finding the room and starting the bath running before returning to collect Jim and the bag that she’d packed. He followed her lifelessly but his face brightened a little at walking into the modest bedroom. It’s decor screamed soft and squishy; a perfect place to rest. Brogan rushed to the bathroom to turn of the tap in the tub. Returning, she took in his expression and took the distance between them at lightning speed to place a firm hand on his chest to stop him taking another step towards the bed. He looked at her with such a deep confusion.  
“Bath.” She insisted, with a point to the other door. His soft yelp-like growl was nothing short of petulant and Brogan had to bite her lip to stop herself from allowing a laugh to escape. “I know you’re tired, I know you just want to sleep.” She cupped his cheek while thinking that she knew he wouldn’t drift any time soon; the pain of the memories were etched on his face and she knew they wouldn’t let go any time soon. “But you’ll feel a little better for a bath, and clean clothes.” And food, she mentally added.  
He nodded with defeat and slumped his way into the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door. It occurred to her in that moment that she was no longer angry that he didn’t tell her where he’d be. All she felt was love; one without conditions or clauses. Joyce was right; Brogan wasn’t going to fix him, but she was certain she’d be right by his side as he fixed himself.


	17. The trick is not minding that it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short time in the bath with Jim’s thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a longer chapter, but it it felt right to chop it in two.

The water in the tube was a couple of degrees too hot to be comfortable, and that was exactly how Jim liked it. The slight pain that the water caused numbed his mind of everything he’d been trying to escape.  
His body ached of fatigue and begged for rest, but his stomach growled painfully for sustenance. Normally he’d have drank enough to have passed out by now; it was the only way to free himself from replaying all his past mistakes. Only this time, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Jim was scared that even a single sip would cause him to lose Brogan, Jane and everything that kept him together.  
With his eyes closed, he felt the lapping of the water as his hands passed a damp cloth over his body. It soothed his soul more than scotch ever could. While it seemed a simple act, taking a bath, it was not something he could have motivated himself to do alone. The darkness had found him and pulled him into its grasp. Jim has done what he thought was best. He’d hidden away from Brogan, hoping she’d never have to see the darkest part of him.   
Only she had stepped up in a way that no one else ever had. Not only did she find him, she had curled up next to him in the darkness: providing him with a nightlight to remind him of home. Gratitude was not her motivation, he could tell that from the words that penetrated the fog while they’d been in the car. He’d heard her plans for Live Aid and how they should invite everyone around, but how she secretly wished they could fly to London to see Bowie and the Who play. He knew there was nothing more than a patient want for him to be safe and well. She’d dropped clothes for him to wear out of the bath on the chair in the bathroom before ordering what he could only imagine being room service.   
All of this kindness after he’d been beyond cruel to her the last time he’d seen her. She’d been knocked to the floor, he was certain there was blood and all he could do was show contempt for her standing up for herself.  
Rubbing his hand over his tired face made him realise how long he’d been in the bath; his fingers had pruned and were aching slightly. He pulled his heavy frame out of the bath and pulled a soft towel over his body until his was dry enough to pull on the sweat pant and long sleeved top Brogan had left for him.   
Padding out into the dimly lit bedroom he saw that the dresser had a tray of toast upon it. How well she knew him; while his body craves food, he only wanted to eat enough to stop his stomach grumbling.   
It was only as he demolished a second slice he realised Brogan hadn’t asked him how he felt after his bath. He took in her body on the bed; the book she must have been reading was resting on the comforter. He wondered how long she’d been fighting sleep today. He climbed onto the bed and moved the book to his bedside before getting himself comfortable on his side facing her. He knew he couldn’t make a promise never to put her through it again, or that he was even out of the woods yet, but what helped him most was the fact that it was never something she would expect of him.  
Placing a hand out on hers, he allowed her soft snores ease him into his own, dreamless, slumber.


	18. The late night chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the angst

It was early morning when Jim felt the air beside him shift. The pinkish light was curling it’s way through the hotel room and casting a haze over the empty side of the bed.  
Had he really dreamt it all? Jim was mentally consoling himself as the sound of a light switching out and the click of a door moved his eyes towards the bathroom. There was his angel, foggy with sleep and changed into her nightshirt.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” Brogan whispered. She gracefully climbed into bed and sank back into the void she’d left. She observed his face before slowly reaching forward to kiss him on the lips.   
“Thank you.” Jim reaches out to brush his thumb across her retreating cheek. He could see the question form on her face before she voiced it. “For bringing me here. For understanding.”  
“I don’t.” Her hand covered his before pulling it away from her face, interlocking her fingers with his. “Understand, that is. But I’m not sure I need to. Not really. I accept that this is a part of you though; that you’ve been through something. I’ll always be here. Just no more wall punching.”  
“I don’t deserve to be so melodramatic.” He admitted with a pained sigh. “I didn’t see half of what others did in Nam.” He explained to an increasingly focused Brogan. He could see the questions she wanted to voice, but she remained quiet to allow him to speak. It was watching the warm light fall over her face that gave him strength to open up.  
“Were you conscripted?” She asked, her eyes focused on him.  
“I was, but I was going to volunteer anyway.” He spoke firmly, knowing he couldn’t stall if he wanted to get through it all. “My Pop. He wanted me to declare myself a conscientious objector. Said I didn’t know what I was signing myself up for.   
And of course, he was right. I had this ideological view that what we were fighting for was the right thing, you know? Told my father that I was enlisting and it was the end of the discussion.” Jim closed his eyes against the flood of memories. “He disowned me. As my father went so did my mother. She wouldn’t go against him. When I left, I never saw her again.”  
“Jim, that’s horrific.” Brogan’s anger was tangible. She shuffled closer to him and he took a moment to breath her in.   
“I won’t bore you with the details of war. Safe to say, I soon discovered that we had no moral standing for being there or for the acts that were done in the name of patriotism. I hated every second I was over there. I watched friends die, mass graves pop up everywhere and no hope of getting home.” He choked for the first time since he started talking.  
“It’s okay.” Brogan reassured him.   
“Diane, Sara’s mum. Her brother was in my regiment when I arrived and we served together until...” he couldn’t finish. Brogan knew how the sentence ended, she didn’t need to hear it. She pulled him close and allowed him to cry. The image of Roger was scorched onto Jim’s retinas.   
“I’m so so sorry.” Her arms enveloped him and rocked him slowly. He knew she’d let him stop, but this had to be done tonight.  
“I held him as he died. I wrote to Diane, and that’s how we met. She fell pregnant within a month of me leaving Vietnam, or we may never have married.” Jim explained unapologetically. It was always a marriage of convenience, which is perhaps why it ended as quickly as it began.  
“How did you get sent home?” Brogan asked. She’d always known he didn’t see out the end of the war.  
“I was given word that my mother was ill. I’d requested compassionate leave, but it was denied because I was being assigned to a new regiment.” He explained as Brogan stroked his hair. “A buddy of mine said he’d pull some strings and have me on the next shipment home.” Jim took Brogan’s hand and placed it on his abdomen. She looked at him questioningly. “He arranged for me to be stabbed in the night.”  
“That’s not an appendix scar?” The horror in her voice could not be hidden. He shook his head.  
“I was shipped out that morning. Once the medic had stemmed the bleeding. I did end up with my appendix removed. It got me out the war, but I never made it home in time.” Jim sighed. There wasn’t much let to say. “It turned out that wasn’t the reason why I was stabbed. I’d made myself a bit of a reputation and the captain of the new regiment didn’t want to risk their next mission.”  
“When was this Jim?” Brogan asked, fearing that she already knew the answer.  
“About 4 days before the Pinkville massacre.” Jim’s words came out strangled. Even Brogan knew of Pinkville. It was one of the most horrific acts of mindless, unprovoked violence Jim encountered. “I should have been there. I should have stopped it.” His voice rose, shouting at himself more than anything.  
“Wait.” Brogan uttered as Jim cracked, repeatedly telling himself he should have saved them. “Stop!” She shouted with such passion he froze. “You were one man, injured while unarmed. You don’t need to hold this guilt.”  
“But the-“  
“But nothing Jim Hopper. You couldn’t have stopped it from happening. You’d be dead now.” She spoke clearly and with a sharp, authoritarian tone. “They’d have killed you and not thought twice. Think of all the people you’ve helped, the love you’ve shown Jane by giving her a home. You couldn’t have done that if you hadn’t been sent home. It’s too big for you to carry. The only person every able to carry the burden of other people’s sins is Jesus and even he died.”  
“You’re religious?” Jim asked, his curiosity peaked. Brogan raised herself only her elbows and gave him a crooked smile,  
“That’s what you took from that?” She asked, incredulous. He arched an eyebrow at her, showing her he wasn’t going to let it drop. “My parents were catholic. I was good at theology at my catholic school.” She explained, mildly released to see some resemblance of a smile on Jim’s face.  
“That didn’t answer my question though, did it?” He himself was now propped up, distracted by this reveal.  
“No, I’m not religious. Religion is corruption and hypocrisy. My mother was devout, or so she claimed.” She took a sharp intake of breath. “Do you know what Liverpool is called to the mafia?”  
“Smack city?!” Jim dug out that bit of information from his brain. “What -“  
“My mother runs the firm. She fronts the cartel that runs between South America, the Netherlands and Liverpool. A good catholic woman, who preaches from The gospels, quoted the commandments until my ears bled... breaks them on a daily basis. She lies, steals, kills and doesn’t keep the sabbath holy. Would you have faith if faced with that?”  
“You’re the daughter of Smigger?” Jim asked almost in awe and ignoring Brogan’s rhetorical question. He knew about the Liverpool group because of their workings with the Cali cartel. While he was aware of the nightmare he could have on his hands, he was fascinated at how she turned out despite her upbringing. It gave him hope for some of the kids he’d arrested while in New York.  
“Smigger doesn’t exist. Its my uncle Colin who is the face, while me Ma is the brains. Smigger is an idea. He keeps people in line; me Ma strikes fear into anyone that meets her like. But she doesn’t ever want to risk it. All it will take it one wanker and her rep is ruined. Which is why I’m ... well, I ran away when ma tried to marry me off to a son of a firm down in London like I was her prized piece of meat. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and I didn’t want to find out what she’d do to me if I refused.”  
“You ran away? All the way here?”  
“No.” She insisted with a smile. “I came home.” Brogan kissed him.


	19. I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter I was going to put here instead didn’t feel right. So here you go; the next big step.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jim was at her side before she’d put on her oversized denim coat. The conversation of her officially moving in was brought up again. By Jane, who had gotten rather irate at Jim’s attempts to change the subject. Brogan had tried her very best to ignore the tension, but had dismissed herself with a kiss to Jane’s hair as she left. “Please stay. Don’t leave mad.” He heard the begging in his voice and cringed. He might have towered over her, but right now he felt as small as a mouse.  
Things had been going so well. Brogan had let him stay at the hotel while she’d returned to Hawkins to work. She’d stayed with Jane and looked after her. Jim returned by Wednesday and discovered Mr Hargrove had already been sent back to his reporting county to be imprisoned for breaking countless laws.  
“I’m not mad.” Brogan insisted with a frustrated snap, gesturing towards the door when Jim looked wounded. He took her nod and made his way outside so they could continue the conversation out of earshot of Jane. She sighed and drew him into her when his body didn’t clearly relax. “I’m not mad. I’m giving you both space. Whatever this is, you two need to talk it through and come to a decision. Tell me, don’t tell me; I don’t care. But we all want the same thing and right now I can’t remove this obstacle. you need to sit down and talk.”  
“But what if-“ you don’t believe me? It’s too much to handle? We break up and you seek revenge? So many ways to end that sentence.  
“I can’t work with what ifs.” She stoked his arms to calm him. “I can’t guess what you want to tell me, I won’t force either of you and I can’t reassure you of what I don’t know.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Talk. You have an hour and I’ll be back.”  
She made to leave, but he pulled her back and into a kiss that Jim didn’t want to end. His hunger had shocked Brogan as her body felt the porch post welcome her back. He could feel her end the kiss before he was ready. When he pulled away she looked angry and her eyes were glazed.  
“What?”  
“Don’t do that.” She choked. He raised his eyebrow questioningly. “Kiss me as if it’ll be the last time.” She stormed away before he could put it right.

With a sigh and a rub down of his face, he went back to face a stormy Jane. His girls were mad at him, and what was worse was that he knew they had every right.  
“You have to tell.” She said, her eyes cold and fixed. Jim sat back a the table but said nothing. “We. Don’t. Lie.”  
“We’re not lying kid. She knows you’re not my daughter.”  
“Then she moves in.” Jane put simply.  
“It’s not that simple.” Jim had to be careful to not tie himself up in knots. He’d just stopped himself from saying that Brogan needed to know the truth before she alone made the decision.  
“Pop. She loves us.” Jane implored but Jim did not reply. He could feel her gaze on him. Trying to figure him out. “You are not a black hole.” She assured him and at that he could feel his heart ache. “I’m happy. You saved me. Brogan feels safe and at home with us. With you. She loves you.”  
“What if she leaves?” He asked, his voice small.  
“That can’t be the why.” Jane smiled bitterly. “That’s not fair. You agreed we’d tell her when things got serious.” She reminded him. “You want to tell her you love her.”   
“Kid!” He growled. “They’re my private thoughts.”  
“WE. DON’T LIE.” She shouted. “Especially to yourself.” He knew what she meant. He’d been thinking that he didn’t deserve her and that Brogan deserved better. “Tell her”  
“Do you not want to tell her? It’s your story. It’s what makes you who you are.”  
“She needs to hear it from you.” Jane explained and he didn’t prob further. They finished their dinner in silence and Jane went to bed while Jim tidied away.   
Brogan was gone longer than a hour and he was just starting to worry when the door opened and she appeared in the doorway.  
“You need to come sit down. I need to tell you something and it might change everything. You get to ask questions at the end, but for now just let me tell you.” He held out his hand as she approached where he was sat. “I. We want you to move in with us. But, you need to know everything first.”  
She listened for almost an hour, while Jim explained. Her hand never moved from his. By the end, his eyes were stung red from the threat of tears and his voice was horse from not wanting to lose momentum by seeking out fluid.   
She was quiet for a long time and he was too frightened to say anything. The only thing that was keeping him together was her hand was still in his.  
“I’m processing.” She said by way of an explanation. She looked to him. “It’s a lot to take in.”  
“Trying to decide what to believe?” He questioned.  
“No.” She squeezes his hand.  
“Deciding how mad you are?” His voice cracked.  
“Why on earth would I be mad?” She questioned.  
“I kept this big thing from you.”  
“Jim! You’re protecting your daughter, that kind of trumps telling the person you’re dating. You’ve told me at the right time.”  
“You believe me?”  
“That’s a bit of what I’m processing. I don’t not believe you.” She said carefully. “But some of the things... they defy the laws of logic and reason.” She sat back and appraised Jim. He felt wrecked and was sure that’s what she saw. “It requires faith and... well...” she paused ever so slightly. ‘Go check the porch’  
He stood up and made the space to the door in record time. His heart was pounding as he pulled the door open and found three bags awaiting relocation. ‘Does that answer your question?’  
Jim turned to find her at the threshold of the door, smiling broadly. Her hands reached around his neck and she kissed him softly.   
‘I’m in love with you.’ He whispered as he pulled away.  
‘I know!’ She chewed on her bottom lip as Jim emitted a growl. She couldn’t help but laugh but it stopped as quickly as it started as a realisation spread across her face. ‘I’m in love with you too.’ She looked into his eyes and blushed. ‘Probably since the moment I met you.’   
‘Way to win it back there Miss Lusk.’ He tipped her chin so he could claim her lips. ‘I’ll get the bags,’ he tried to pull away, but her passion had deepened.  
‘Later.’ She uttered between urgent kisses and pulling him back into the house.


	20. A Wheeler

There was a commotion in school. Brogan couldn’t quite hear it, but she could sense it even before Dustin barged into her room on a drizzly Wednesday lunchtime early March.   
“We need you, outside. Now.” He insisted breathlessly. “Nancy’s going to kill him. Literally. Not figuratively; and no one is going to stop her.”  
It didn’t matter who it was. Nancy needed to get through this year and get her clean slate. Running barefoot to the quad was quick work, but making out what was going on was a slightly different matter. So many people huddled around what could only be a fight meant she couldn’t see the eye of the human storm. It was only when Brogan heard Mike shout for Nancy to stop that she started to elbow her way through the crowd.   
On the floor was Billy, nose broken and bloody. Above him stood Nancy, armed with a baseball bat and gunning for another swing. Brogan put her hand in the way before she could even take the swing.  
“Nancy, stop.” Brogan attempted eye contact, but Nancy’s eyes were wild and focused on the floor. Ignoring the crowds boo’s, Brogan took the bat from Nancy and handed it to Lucas.  
“Crazy bitch.” Billy taunted, spitting blood on the floor. Brogan felt Nancy prickle at this, she attempted to move away from Brogan and return to Billy. There was only one way this was going to go unless Brogan acted fast.  
“Jane,” Brogan called. “Take Nancy to my car. Don’t think about starting the ignition. I’ll be right behind you.” She handed Jane the keys and watched the two walk away before returning to the circle.  
“If I knew you had such disgusting feet, I would have given up on you long ago.” Billy scoffed from the rain drenched floor that he’d not picked himself up from; his eye on her feet that only had flesh tights keeping them warm. She only briefly regretted not replacing her heels when Dustin had called for her help. Brogan watched his bravado disappear as she dropped down onto one knee to speak to him at eye level.  
“I don’t know what caused this, but I don’t doubt for a second that you deserved it.” She insisted. “You’ve bragged about banging her mother for months. I’m only surprised she didn’t do it sooner.” Brogan grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled his ear to her mouth. “And from what I hear, you’ll have to make peace with your future daughter-in-Law; I’d imagine Karen is all ready to make an honest man out of you now you’ve knocked her up, daddy.” Brogan had worked it out; Karen’s declaration the night of the attack. However, from the shocked look on Billy’s face, she’d yet to tell him.  
“Nancy was telling the truth?” Billy asked, incredulous.   
“That’s why she beat you up?!” Brogan asked, her heart breaking on behalf of Nancy. Billy nodded, turning a sickly shade of green. Brogan got to her numb feet; they were starting to feel cold from the concrete. “Mazel tov Hargrove.” Brogan shouted as she ran back to the school doors and right into the principle.   
“What on earth?!” Peter Finch looked to the drenched teacher and turned an angry shade of purple. Brogan could see the cogs turning as he tried to figure out if Brogan had done something wrong and if he could reprimand her for it.  
“Breaking up a fight. Turns out you have a teen daddy on your roll!” She physically looked up to the man she despised. “I don’t have classes this afternoon so I’m heading home.”  
“You know that’s highly -“  
“Finch. You were asked repeatedly to do something about that boy. You were warned of the consequences if he wasn’t brought in line. With all due respect, I’m going to pick up the pieces of a student you should have protected.” Brogan walked away towards her classroom to get her boots and bag. “He’ll need the hospital by the way.”

Nancy was dressed in some of Jane’s sweats and curled up on the sofa, starring into space when Brogan returned from getting changed herself. Jane was in school with the others and Jim was in work. So it gave Brogan time. She’d fixed the broken girl a hot drink that wouldn’t be consumed and brought her a blanket for the chill that would have undoubtedly set in her bones.   
The second Brogan sat beside Her, Nancy broke down into an unrelenting sob. Brogan did what she could; she rested Nancy’s head upon her shoulder and stroked her wavy hair until she cried herself out.   
“Am I suspended?” Nancy asked with a hiccup, long after her tears dried up.  
“Not if I have anything to do with it. I’ll pull out my scar.” Brogan chuckled hollowly with a wave of her hand.  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, I know I shouldn’t have-“ she uttered with such sadness.  
“Hunny, I know why you did.” Brogan brought Nancy’s head up so she could look her in the eyes. “I understand.”  
“She’s-“  
“-I know.” Brogan nodded. “Your mother tried to tell me. I think she just wanted somebody to know.”  
“I overheard her and dad. They were fighting and she told him. She’s leaving.” Nancy sobbed.  
“That’s got to be a good thing Nancy. Take it from me, you don’t want your parents together if they ain’t happy. It only destroys the good in ‘em.” Brogan explained, tucking Nancy’s hair behind her ear. “My Ma, she killed my father. She broke his heart, then his spirit. That wasn’t enough though, so she poisoned him. So he couldn’t take us away. Me and my brother.” Brogan’s voice was soft. “This way, your father will be a little sad for a while, but he loves you all and he’ll take care of you. Unless it’s your mom you want to be with, at which point she’ll love you too.”  
“I never want to see her again.” Nancy hissed.  
“I guess I understand that too.” Brogan whispered, allowing Nancy to lean on her shoulder again.

The sun was hanging low in the sky, Nancy was asleep on the sofa and Jane was up in her room with Mike. Brogan was preparing food for dinner; a pasta dish that people could take from whenever they were hungry rather than something time sensitive that would need everyone together.  
She was wiping down the counter when a soft knock came at the door. Curiosity and fear prickled at Brogan. Regular visitors, from Will, Steve and Dustin to Max and Joyce all did away with convention and walked right on in. A knock meant someone new.  
Someone unwanted.  
“Billy, you’re not welcome here.” Brogan closed the door behind her, hoping the knock had not woken Nancy. “You have to leave.”  
“Please.” He begged, his nose wrapped up and his eyes already beginning to blacken. “She wants me to move with her to this place out of town. She’s keeping the kid. It’s mine. I was safe, I swear. I don’t know how this happened. I-“  
“Billy, this is not the place where you’ll get help. I am not the sympathetic ear you want.” Brogan caught the headlights of Jim’s car. “You’ve made your bed Billy, you have to lie in it.”   
“Everything good?” Jim asked, making his way past Billy to stand beside Brogan. Her warm hand found the small of his back.  
“Please Miss Lusk. Mrs Wheeler will take me with her to her motel until the house is ready. She will-“ Billy’s voice broke, Jim fussed at Brogan’s side and she had heard enough.  
“-Billy!” Brogan showed the boy her free, blemished hand. “You are a vile boy. You never could take no for an answer, and I’ve got the scars to prove it. Her putting you up in what will most likely be a palace?! Not my idea of hell. Now kindly, get off our land before Chief here drives you-“ she actually saw how happy he looked at the thought of being arrested. “- to Karen. I assume your family have washed their hands of you since discovering you’re situation?!” She could feel Jim’s questioning eyes on her. “Oh, he knocked up ‘Mrs Wheeler’-“  
“Mazel Tov.” Jim responded with a fake smile. “Now, as my girlfriend said; get off our land.” Without another word, Jim guided Brogan inside. He detangled from her, to keep an eye on Billy’s movements through the peephole. Brogan paced beside him, twisting her hands together.  
“You’re not mad are you? That I said ‘our’ land?” She asked the second he turned away from the door. His arm immediately found its way around her waist to pull her close.  
“It is ours Brogan.” He kissed her forehead. “Look, I know where this is heading for me.” He held her at arms length. “I’m all in. I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.” He paused to take in the smile that had spread onto her face. “That’s not how I’m proposing by the way. I’ll do it properly-“  
“There’s no such thing.” Brogan replied breathlessly. “I’m not a wedding sort of gal.”  
“No, you’re not are you?!” He agreed with admiration. “You want a marriage?”  
“Damn straight.” She chuckled. “So no, no fancy proposal.” She knew Jim wasn’t ready. He needed to put his demons to bed. That would only happen once the Neil Hargrove ordeal was finished. “Hungry?”  
“Famished.” Jim declared, taking in the body on the sofa while Brogan made her way to the kitchen. “Brogan? There’s a Wheeler on our couch-“  
“-and one in your daughter’s bedroom.” Brogan added while pulling out two dishes. She opened the countertop oven and pulled out the pasta dish.  
“This happen to do with Rosemary’s baby growing Karen Wheeler’s stomach?” He asked, keeping his voice low. Brogan gave him such a look that he shrank back two paces with his hands held high.   
“Nancy got in a fight with Billy.”  
“Looks like she beat the shit out of him!” Jim corrected as Brogan passed him a loaded plate and took him out onto the porch to sit on the bench out back.  
“They’re staying the night. Nancy will bunk with Jane, Mike on the couch. I’ve cleared it with Ted. He sounded grateful if I’m honest.” Brogan began eating her food as Jim looked at her with a look of such love that she blushed. “What J?” She asked after a while. “Your food is going to get cold.”  
“I love you.” He said simply before focusing on his food. “I’m going to start work on the new house after spring break.” Jim informed Brogan. “I’ll be demolishing the trailer and breaking ground there.”  
She wasn’t sure if it was the reason for the declaration, but Brogan felt as if it was Jim’s attempt at leaving some things in the past.  
“You sure you don’t just want to extend here?” She asked before taking another mouthful.  
“It’s not just extra space babe,” Jim explained with a wry smile “I want a home. My Grandpa built this place for his family. Now I want to do the same. The trailer has bad memories for me. Jane hides it well, but this place isn’t a picnic for her either.” Jim insisted, scraping his bowl clean. “This is the dream, Brogan.”  
“Okay, so next question. You wanting to build it yourself, or are we hiring people? I’ve got some money saved, it should help with at least getting some more hands on deck.” Brogan expressed. She’d managed to leave home with a healthy bank account; the money gained from secreting away money from her mother’s shady life. Compensation, Brogan reasoned, for her upbringing. What upset Brogan was that her mother probably wept more over the lost money than her own daughter.  
“I think I need help.” Jim sighed, rubbing his beard the way he normally did when he was vulnerable was extremely endearing to Brogan. “I’d love to build it myself, but I’m not the craftsman my grandpa was. I have money saved and some plans that I’m certain my Grandpa made for my parents. I’m going to set up a meeting with the contractor next week. I was hoping you’d want to come with me?” He asked with such hope in his voice. Brogan had never felt like this before; she felt like she had a partner in crime. She nodded enthusiastically. “You look happy!” Jim declared as he stood and took her empty dish; he’d welcomed the routine of washing up after dinner. Her hand curled around his neck to stop him moving away.  
“I am!” She kissed him firmly, knowing this was quite possibly the happiest she’d ever felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a fan of this chapter, but it needs to be here for the little threads and flow of time.


	21. You are Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy all the feels

It wasn’t late when Jim arrived back at his house during Spring break. The living room was alive with activity; Steve was teaching the boys how to play a card game, while Nancy was painting Jane’s nails.  
He was greeted with a warm welcome, but the face he wanted to see wasn’t there. It was unusual not to find Brogan among them.   
“Hey kid.” He kissed Jane’s head. “You eaten?” She nodded.  
“Brogan cooked pasta for us.” She answered, admiring Nancy’s handy work. “She left you some in the oven.”  
“She here?” Jim asked, moving to the kitchen in search of the home cooked food.   
“I’m nodding!” Jane said after a while. She must have noticed Jim was preoccupied with dishing out a bowl full of her anglicised Mac and cheese that he loved so much.  
“Thanks for verbalising kiddo.” He chuckled, tucking into his food.  
“She wasn’t feeling too great Chief.” Nancy appeared beside him and explained in a hushed tone. “Miss G said she was just tired, but I just think she didn’t want a fuss. She was really pale and not very chatty. We’ve kept it down and Steve and I stayed until you got back. We didn’t want Jane to worry by being on her own.”  
“Thanks Nancy. You did the right thing. You know you can call her Brogan though, yeah?” He said between mouthfuls. Nancy responded with a bashful hug. “How are you doing?”  
“I’m okay Hop. It’s not the worst or the strangest thing I’ve been through.” She smiled weakly. “Just glad me and Mike got to stay with dad and mom’s actually gone away for a while.”  
“Where is Max tonight?” Jim asked, sizing up the group in the living room.  
“Family thing.” Nancy explained before the boys erupted with a victory chant. “What did I say about the...” Nancy’s voice trailed off as Jim made his way down towards their bedroom. So many months in and his heart still skipped a beat moments before seeing his girlfriend.  
Sure enough, there she was on her side of the bed, book in a bandaged hand and facing away from the door to get the natural light. She hadn’t heard him come in and he took a moment to just take in her beauty.  
Jim kicked off his shoes and detached his heavy, gun holding, belt before taking his space on the right side of the bed. Her body responded to him while she didn’t outrightly acknowledge his presence. He stretched out is hand to angle the book in his direction.   
“‘Mark but this flea, and mark in this,  
How little that which thou deniest me is ;  
It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee,   
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.  
Thou know’st that this cannot be said  
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead’ ... is this dirty poetry?! Are you reading dirty poetry without me?!” He questioned after reading out a portion to her. Brogan turned to him and nodded sleepily “Hey you.” He whispered lovingly, kissing her ever so softly.  
“Hey you.” She stroked his beard. “Good day?” Her eyes met his and even despite the pain he could see she was feeling, her smile was full. Her face was pale as Nancy had claimed and her eyes were heavy.  
“It’s better now.” He replied.  
“That well, huh?!” She pulled him closer, breathing him in. He loved it when she did that, the sigh of comfort that always followed filled him with pride.  
“What about you? There’s a party out there and you’re notably absent. There’s no fever, despite you being incredibly hot!”  
“Cheesy!” She laughed, before easing herself back up into a sitting position, he rested his head on her legs while she ran her fingers from her in bandaged hand through his hair. “I just feel really off. I think a horsefly bit me when I was marking in the garden yesterday.” She waved the offending hand at him. “I’m also a few days late so it’s probably cramps. Just didn’t want my hormonal face spoiling their fun.” She smiled sadly.  
“Didn’t want to cramp their style?!” He wiggled his eyebrows comically at her.  
“King of the dad jokes tonight.” Brogan leaned in for a kiss, clearly hoping he’d meet her halfway by propping himself up on his elbows but Jim had caught hold of a thought.  
“Well, that is a possibility.” He mused, keeping his tone indifferent. Brogan pulled a skeptical face. “Well, you’re late. You could be-“  
“- I am not pregnant J, we’ve been careful. I’m just a few days off. I’m tired, I’m cranky and my uterus feels like it’s being used as a chew toy.”  
“There was the night with the boat on the lake...” Jim recalled their evening under the stars. “I’d forgotten to bring anything and it was too far to row back, you said you’d had the diaphragm in because you-“  
“-I knew I’d get lucky and i wanted to rock your world.” She groaned as her memory of the evening came back to her. “Except I was too excited about actually having sex on a boat and forgot the put in my bastard diaphragm.”  
He jumped up onto his knees and kissed her in an attempt to hold back laughter and keep her from freaking out. He could tell she was trying to return his feelings, but her mind was elsewhere.  
“What is it?” He asked, curling a strand of her hair around his finger. “Do you not wan-“ it only just occurred to him that it was something they’d not discussed. Assuming working with kids and wanting kids were the same was a rather rookie error.  
“It’s not that.” She brushed away a tear that had escaped. “I want a baby. I want your baby, but ... we have a family.”  
“But this would be ours.” Jim explained softly.  
“I know, but Jim. This isn’t just for us to just decide; we can’t -“ Brogan must have felt she wasn’t explaining herself well because she cut herself short and climbed off the bed, tears threatening to escape her eyes. “I am in love with you. There’s all these things that I’ll be over the moon if we have. However,” she gestured towards the door, “I also love your daughter as if she is my own and that will always be the case. I don’t think it’s right, or fair, to have another child without discussing it with her first.”  
“You know she’d -“ He was at Brogan’s side in a heartbeat, rubbing her arms reassuringly.   
“Yes, we both know she’d say yes. But babe, she needs to know that’s she’s enough. That there’s enough love to go around. That girl out there is in a good place, and if I need to sacrifice having a biological child so she knows that she is loved and irreplaceable? I’m okay with that. I have you and Jane, and you’re enough. You don’t need to give me anything else.”  
“I love you.” Jim insisted, his eyes glistening with tears at her selfless mentality that he could never have. “And just so you know. I love that girl with all my heart, that won’t change. I will ensure she knows. But-“ he kissed her hands.   
“You want a baby?”  
“Oh god I do!” He uttered passionately.  
“You know I’m not pregnant right now though, right?” She insisted with narrowed eyes. He nodded in a resigned acceptance. “Don’t sulk, think of how much more sex there’ll be -“ his eyes widened “IF we start trying?!”   
“Right, kids-“ he raised his voice as he opened the bedroom door. “- out you get. We need to talk to Jane...”  
“No! That’s not how it works!” Brogan’s voice followed Jim out to the main room. Her pain was temporarily forgotten as she jumped onto his back and clamped her bandaged, sickly sweet smelling, hand over his mouth. Jim wondered if it was true, that love could be a pain killer.   
It was one of those moments in life that was a perfect snapshot of happy. Everyone was smiling, laughing and on their feet. Jim’s arms supported Brogan’s position on his back as she removed her hand from his mouth.  
Then, as suddenly as it felt right, everything went wrong. It was Dustin’s expression Jim noticed first, then Brogan went slack. There was nothing Jim could do to stop her falling. Time stood still. Jane was stood frozen in shock that she didn’t even react.  
Not again, was all Jim could think waiting for the sickening sound of her hitting the coffee table. It never came.   
Jim turned to discover Steve had caught her and was now shifting her unconscious weight in his arms.  
“Car?” Steve asked, inspecting her fully. “I’ll get you both to the hospital.”


	22. The Upsidedown of Love

The noise was overwhelming. Words and requests Jim didn’t understand were batted over Brogan’s body as if the doctors were playing tennis. Jim turned his attention inward hoping it would calm him; it had the opposite impact as all he could pick out was his blood rushing loudly through his body.  
“Hop?!” Steve brought his attention back. “They’re asking questions I can’t answer man.”  
Jim looked to the doctor who Steve was pointing to.  
“Is there a chance Miss Lusk is pregnant?”  
“There’s a chance.” Jim responded. While Brogan had been certain, and it was her body, he would never rule it out.  
“Thank you. Nurse Jupp will take you both to the waiting room.” And without another word they rolled Brogan away, taking the cloud of noise with them. Jim mutely followed Steve and the nurse and settled on a plastic chair. The silence was just as overwhelming; Jim could feel the darkness creep back into his soul.  
She wasn’t going to die, it’s just that Jim was right. Brogan was pregnant and had passed out, Jim reasoned to his ever anxious mind. But that, Jim’s negative reasoning chimed in, doesn’t explain why she was unresponsive for the entire 20 minute car journey to the hospital .  
“Chief.” Steve was stood over him, cups of coffee in hand.   
“Thanks kid.” Jim sat up a little to shake the void that was about to take him whole. Steve sat opposite and sipped his drink.  
“You think it’s that she’s pregnant?” Steve asked with hesitation. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing.” He added quickly. “There’s only me because my mum had a difficult pregnancy. Maybe this is what it means?!”  
“I don’t know.” Jim utters sadly. “Brogan was certain she wasn’t. I know I want it to be, but it’s me. I des-“ Jim’s emotions got the better of him and he crushed his head into his hands.   
“What would you call them. It’s twins; a boy and a girl. What names would you pick?” Steve asked suddenly. Jim’s heart lifted at the thought. In that moment he felt a father’s love for the young man in front of him.   
“I have no idea, but I know me and Brogan would have such fun disagreeing.” Jim sat up, his bitter sweet laugh filled the air.  
“You didn’t talk about having kids, baby names?” Steve asked, failing to keep the shock from his voice.   
“Nope. I only found out today that she wants kids with me.” Jim said, watching a smile etch itself on Steve’s face. “What kid?”  
“I want someone to love me like that.”  
“Like what?” Jim saw something in Steve that gave Jim hope.  
“Like she doesn’t doesnt need anything but you to feel complete.”  
“But you know what, she’d survive without me. I’m not sure I’ll survive if she-“  
“Don’t say it Chief.” Steve insisted. “Whatever it is, she’ll pull through. Don’t give power to that negative thought by saying it out loud.”  
“You’re right.” Jim uttered, allowing the silence to return. “Besides. She’s looking forward to Live Aid. I’m going to set up a picnic, put the tv outside. I want her to have strawberries and cream while she watches with Jane.”  
“Paul McCartney is playing. She will be excited about that.” Steve countered, glad to keep Jim’s spirits up.  
“She does love the Beatles. Every Sunday I wake up to the sound of the Abbey Road album.” He mused. “Did she ever tell you that she was meant to meet John Lennon? There was an intimate gig in New York when she’d just arrived.” Jim began to speak, Steve shook his head. “The ticket was paid for by a friend, who couldn’t go. Brogan had jumped at the chance to meet Lennon. Although her favourite Beatle is George, Lennon was the only one she’d not met personally because he wasn’t allowed to go back to England and come back to New York.” Jim remembered the conversations, one of those nighttime chats that moved from one conversation to the next so seamlessly that they didn’t realise they’d spent all night talking until the sky turned pink.  
“Did she meet him?” Steve asked, his eyes on Jim.  
“No. John never arrived to the gig; he was killed that evening. They told the people waiting he was ill and they’d be in touch to rearrange the event. Brogan found out when she read the paper on her way to work the next day.”  
“Mr Hopper?” A doctor questioned and both Jim and Steve stood in a heartbeat.   
“Yes. How is Brogan? Is she okay, can I see her?”   
“There’s no change to her condition I’m afraid.” The doctor explained sadly. “However, the scans we’ve completed and the blood test indicate that whatever this is, is parasitic. We noticed the bite on her hand; it’s highly unusual. Did Miss Lusk describe the incident to you.”  
“Only that she thought it was a horsefly.” Jim explained. His eyes flicked to the file that contained scans. The doctor hesitated before directing both Jim and Steve to a nearby light box. He clipped the film to the box and turned on the light which flickered in protest for the longest of time.  
“Mr Hopper, we’re not sure what parasite this is, but her body is not fighting it; there’s no fever or presence of antibodies. What we are certain of thought; it’s already gotten to her brain.” The doctor explained while both men stood frozen. Jim numbly thanked the doctor before seeking out a payphone. Not before Jim pocketed the forgotten scan from the light box.  
“Chief. How was that possible?” Steve asked in hushed tones when they finally stopped at a phone near the bathrooms. “You saw it too right? That think that Will saw in the Upside Down, how did it get into get brain?”  
“Kid, I don’t know.” Jim whispered as he dialled a number. “But someone does-“ Jim listened for the phone to be picked up. “We need you. Get here, now.” Was all Jim said before putting the phone down.   
“What’s the plan?” Steve asked, his eyes wide with fear.  
“Can you stay here with Brogan. I’ll speak to one of the doctors on my way out and get you put in the room with her. Don’t leave her side and most importantly, don’t let the Company get her. They’ll be mobilising in the next few hours.”  
“If she wakes?” Steve asked for Jim to smile so lovingly at him; always with hope.  
“You call Flo at the station. She’ll be able to get me on the radio.” Jim insisted. “I’ll send Nancy your way as soon as I can, but for now...” Jim’s words faulted. “I love her Steve, with all my, everything. Please keep her safe.” Jim held Steve’s should only to have Steve pull him into a hug. One Jim didn’t realise he needed.  
“I’ll guard her with my life.”


	23. Wrestling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This just wrote itself.

Jim took time in the car once he’d arrived back at the cabin. There was no denying that he was overwhelmed; not only was he feeling the pain and anxiety of Brogan’s hospitalisation, this had triggered a flood of memories from Sara first being diagnosed. He needed a moment, he needed to breath.  
Only once he was certain speaking to the Party wouldn’t have him reduced to tears, did he make his way inside. They were all sat, silently lost in thought. Seeing Jim alone did not help; each and every face crumpled.  
“Will, buddy.” Jim pulled pulled out the scan he’d stolen and handed it to Joyce’s son. “Take a look at this and tell me what you see.” Will was silent for the longest of time. Jim was starting to think he’d imagined it.  
“It the Mind Flayer .” He said confidently before looking to Jim. “What is this?” He asked Jim.  
“It’s a scan of Brogan’s brain. The doctor thinks she’s been bitten by a parasite.” Jim clenched his jaw to keep his to e level. The last thing he wanted was to shout at any of them. Lucas and Dustin instantly when to Will to take a look at the scan, while Mike moved a little closer to the washed-out Jane.  
“Pop? Is she awake?” Jane asked, her eyes sad. Jim shook his head.  
“Steve is staying with her. Nancy? Will you be able to go and take shifts with Steve; I don’t want Brogan left alone.”  
“Sure thing Chief.” She pulled out her keys, kissed Mike on the head and left without another word.  
“I don’t get it Chief. I’ve not had any visions since Jane closed the gate.” Will explained. “I’ve got a clean bill of health; no more puking up black gunk.”  
“No, but one of you has.” Jane whispered; anger coming off her in waves. It was Jim’s thoughts she’d caught. “Right, Pop? That’s what you think?” Jim could only nod.   
“I thought it might have been me. I breathed in the spores in the tunnels after all. But I checked with Owens; the first thing they did was sterilise my lungs.” Jim explained. “Did any of you, when you went into the tunnels, become exposed to the spores?” Jim asked and the room became deadly silent.  
“Jane, you’re hurting my hand.” Mike pulled his hand out of her grip. “Jane?” Her eyes has rolled to the back of her head. Mike made to shake her out of her trance like state but Jim pulled him out of reach.  
“She might be able to help.” Jim whispered feeling terribly guilty for allowing this to go on. “There might be a demodog out there.”  
“Wouldn’t we have seen it by now? Sense it?” Mike asked with anger.  
“Not with the gate closed Mike.” Will explained. “This is the only way. Besides, you said it was a bite that caused it, right? Can only be the bite from when she was in the garden two days ago. That means it was tiny. It won’t be a demodog yet.”  
“Dart two point oh!” Jane uttered.  
“I knew it would be you.” Lucas screamed and grabbed Dustin by the shirt collar. Mike and Max immediately moved to separate them.  
“It wasn’t me! I don’t know what she’s talking about.” Dustin screamed while Lucas hurled angry words at him.  
Jim and Will moved to either side of Jane, who remained still.   
“He didn’t know. Sleep, it happened in sleep,” she whispered.  
“It’s okay baby girl, it’s okay. You’ve done enough.” Jim insisted, ignoring the party commotion. “Come back to me.”  
“What about her trying to find Brogan?” Will asked. Jim shook his head.  
“This is different Will; Brogan’s body is here. It’s not worth it.” Jim explained, shaking Jane softly, “wanna get a grip on those two for me?” Jim shouted over in his loud voice. “Dustin didn’t know. Sort of.” Jim had kept his eyes on Jane the entire time and watched her slowly come back. “Did you consciously do that?” He asked as she came too. She shook her head.   
“Thoughts of you all. Overwhelming.” Will drew her into him and she rested her head, with her eye closed.   
Turning to the the rest of the party, Jim placed his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. They all froze, tangled in a mess on the floor.  
“You done wrestling?” He questioned rhetorically with a raised eyebrow.  
“Hop, how can you be so calm?! He got Brogan hurt.” Lucas scrambled up on his feet, breathing hard and gesturing angrily at Dustin.  
“Lucas, you are amazing at seeking justice.” Jim clamped a hand on his shoulder. “But let’s get all the information before you punish.”  
“Chief, I swear. I have not seen any -“ Dustin whimpered, clutching his jaw as he got to his feet.  
“That wasn’t what Jane was trying to say.” Jim turned to Dustin and led him to a seat. Jim crouched down beside him. “When you were in the tunnels, did you breath any dust like material in?” Jim asked carefully.  
“Yeah, it made me cough something chronic for months. Mom wanted me to go to the doctors to see if I had asthma. No way was I was getting an inhaler.” Dustin sulked.  
“Dustin, you know you’ve been writing stories with Brogan in class? Did you know you were writing about the Upside Down?” Jim asked, ignoring the sounds of indignation that came from Lucas.  
“No!” Dustin shouted, insulted at the question. “I’ve been writing about... well, I don’t remember. I’d have to get my work. But I wouldn’t; I made a vow to the party to not let anyone know.” He sounded broken.  
“When did the coughing stop Dustin?” Will asked. Dustin thought hard.  
“Four days ago.” He said with a gulp. “I coughed up mucus in my sleep.” He was thinking hard. “It was like -“  
“Miner’s tar?” Will asked, for Dustin to nod. Jim looked to Will, who nodded as if he could read Jim’s mind .   
“I’ve hurt Brogan, haven’t I?” Dustin’s voice was filled with fear. Jim’s attention returned to Dustin.  
“No. This is not your fault. You couldn’t have predicted any of this.” Jim assured him with a soothing tone.  
“Except for the fact that he gave birth to one of those creatures that bit her!” Lucas spat.  
“Settle Lucas, you know Dustin cares about Miss L and wouldn’t have done this on purpose.” Max hit back before Jim could. Dustin looked grateful for this.  
“So what do we do? Mount up, kill it and then Brogan wakes?” Mike asked, always keen to take charge. “It’ll be a piece of cake after everything else we’ve faced. It’s one growing demodog.”  
“It’s not that simple Mike.” Jim sighed, his heart breaking.   
“The bad men are coming.” Lucas instinctively mused.  
“They’ll be coming.” Jim agreed, walking to the door as headlights flooded the windows. He opened the door to   
“Pop, no!” Jane shouted. “I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Not just you hunny,” Jim insisted as she threw herself into his arms. “You won’t be alone, but you can’t stay here.” He drew his head down to Jane’s ear. “I can’t lose you too little one. Please, if I can’t save Brogan...”  
“Pop...No.” Jane’s voice broke too as he knelt to face her, tears in his eyes.  
“I love you Eleven. The Company will be coming for Brogan, they have ears everywhere. I cannot have them find you. Let him take you somewhere safe with Will.”  
“Who?” Jane whispered as footsteps could be heard and a shadow filled the room.  
“Hello losers.” Jonathan announced gravely.


	24. Valentine’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and seeet today

“Jim?” A soft voice called from the doorway as he thumbed his way through the poetry book Brogan had been reading earlier that day. He turned to see a strong looking Joyce. His face crumpled the instant she smiled at him. Within a heartbeat he felt her arms around him.  
“I should never have told her how I felt. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” Jim sobbed into Joyce’s shoulder. “She’d be safe now without me.”  
“Don’t do this. You can’t regret loving her. You can’t regret bringing so much joy into everyone’s lives. Never mind how bad that rotten boy could have gotten without you. She loves you more than anything.” Joyce soothed. “We’ve been through this before; we don’t leave anyone behind.”   
“What about Bob?” Jim reminded her, hoping she didn’t take it as a snap. “I left him behind. I deserve this; she doesn’t.”  
“You couldn’t have saved Bob, Hop.” Joyce insisted. “Now, Will and Jane have gone with Jonathan. You can sit here and wallow, you can go back to the hospital and wallow there.” Joyce held him at arms length. “Or you can do what we all want; gear up and let’s get this bitch.”  
“I’ll be out in a minute.” Jim insisted with a bittersweet smile. “Tell Mike to go into the crawl space and get the bags.”   
“Okay Hop. Five minutes.” She insisted before retreating. Jim pulled his heart back together before turning his memory to images of Brogan. All his favourite memories, scents and conversations hit him at once. He isolated the strongest one; Valentine’s day. They hadn’t been dating long and quite a lot of their time together came about because of Brogan teaching Jane. Valentine’s day was a Thursday, but Brogan was at the cabin the evening before. As Jim opened the door after long day, he was met with the smell of heady spices and sweet apples.  
“Pop, cookies for Mike.” Jane squeaked as he walked into the kitchen. “Did I do good?” She asked happily as Jim’s heart swelled. There, putting the finishing touches to a box of cookies.   
“Jane followed all the instructions herself.” Brogan had explained later in the evening, when they’d sat down with grilled cheese sandwiches.  
“Love is a strong motivator.” Jim had mused at the time. Now he knew why it was the memory forcing its way way to the forethought of his mind.  
Just as he was about to make his way out of the bedroom, a soft knock came at the bedroom door.  
“Hey Dustin. You okay?” Jim asked, sitting down at the foot of his bed. Dustin shuffled into the room, his cap scrunched tightly in hand.  
“I wanted to apologise Chief. If there’s anything I can do earn your forgiveness...” Dustin stumbled through his words.  
“Dustin, kiddo. You don’t need to earn my forgiveness and you know Brogan would tell you the same. This isn’t like last time; you didn’t name it and keep it from all of us.” Jim pulled Dustin into a hug. “We do need to get you checked out at some point though kid. Once we’ve captured this demodog, you need to see Doc Owens.”  
“We’re killing it, right?” Dustin asked with a frosty bite to his voice. “It hurt Miss L, we make it pay.”  
“Well, I hear you’re the expert in getting the attention of one of these things. I was hoping you’d lead?!”  
“You’ve seen Jaws, right Hop?” Dustin asked, his smile returning full throttle.


	25. From a different angle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you make of the move from 3rd to 1st

My head ached as I stirred from unconsciousness. I had been in J’s arms one minute and then... and then what? There was a stabbing pain between my eyes before darkness.  
It must be late, there’s no light. Even still, I’m not sure I want to open my eyes. I try and gauge where I am by listening out for J’s snores. My blood goes cold and my eyes snap open as I realise I can’t hear him.  
Everything is wrong. I’m on a hospital bed, which in itself is wrong but everything is dark. All surfaces are covered in vines. A sudden realisation came to me; it’s just a nightmare. My nightmare I’d long forgotten until I arrived in Hawkins.  
One that had started when I’d gone into my mother’s bag and took the white powder. I’d complained that it didn’t taste like sherbert. That it tasted vile and had sucked my mouth dry. She’d smacked me so hard before locking me in my room.  
I’d screamed and screamed as the walls turned black and the things I couldn’t describe tried to clutch and my legs. My room seemed to never end and time lost all meaning. I must have blacked out towards the end of my trip because the next thing I knew I was being cared for by my brother and I was soaked through with sweat.  
It had taken 5 years and a lot of money for a head doctor to stop the nightmares. My mother had even threatened me with electroshock therapy if I didn’t stop ‘waking the whole damn street’. Only me Ma would blame her own daughter for taking experimental drugs that where mistaken for sherbet instead of herself.  
Pulling one of the vines that had wrapped around my ankle, I realised how real it felt: right down to the itchy welts it had left. I was dressed in an operation gown. Dream or no dream, I wasn’t leaving wearing anything that left my arse on show. I pulled myself off the hospital bed and searched for anything that belonged to me. Nothing.  
A quick search of the hospital floor led me to some pink scrubs that weren’t too decayed. I don’t remember the dreamscape being so textured before. But i guess that normally I’d have met and be fleeing from a creature by now.  
“I’m spending way too much time here.” I muttered as I put my feet into a pair of trainers. My hand caught my attention; it was exactly as it should be; that healing pink of a scar. Whenever I’d had this dream lately it was either without a blemish or knurled like my hand had been made of wax when it melted.  
“Upside Down.” I whispered into the apocalyptic void, restraining the lilt that made the phrase a question. I didn’t need to question; I knew instantly I was right.  
I took the stairs down to the ground floor, knowing there’d be no electric to work the lifts. Everywhere was deadly silent and it scared me more than anything.  
The chairs in the waiting room where all in such a disarray. I hated J’s gun, but right now I wish I had it to hand. Sod that, I wish I had J to hand. Stepping out into the hospital parking lot, I realised that was quite possible the first time I’d ever wished J was there to do something I was quite capable of doing myself.  
I looked to the sky and my breath caught; it was as if someone had brought the cosmos into the earth’s atmosphere.  
“Well, this ain’t Hawkins anymore J.” I uttered before making my way to the nearest car free of vines. After hot wiring it and getting it on the road, I didn’t have a plan. But I just hoped someone, somewhere, did.


	26. Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the wait. I’ve just moved back to Liverpool so things have been mad.

This was cold. I’d forgotten what cold was truly like. That lung hurting, air feels physical, cold. Hawkins had been kind to me, unlike New York. The Big Apple had a harsh winter when I’d arrived.   
This, though, was something else. It was if I’d been plunged into ice cold water and had microscopic psychopaths chopping up my lungs. I mentally recreated a hot beach in my head to keep me going.  
I’d never seen the roads so clear and had made my way to Hawkins proper in relatively quick time. I decided to go to the cabin; it was my safe space. Yes, I was living in a half hope that J would be there. He’d mentioned how Mike had spoken to Joyce somehow, so it was worth a shot.   
The road to the cabin wasn’t clear and I had to abandon the car by the trailer. The air was as painfully cold here, but it was also as if it was made of soup. My legs slowed in protest and i was starting to lose all hope.  
“Jim!” I shouted as the cabin was in sight. My voice was strangled and my breath came out in a mist. I just wanted to be in Jim’s warm and muscular arms. The memory of sinking into his arms of an evening while I drifted off was keeping my mind distracted from the semi steep walk.  
There were no lights on. No one was home. Of course there was no one home; I was here and they were there. I wished in that moment that I’d paid more attention to my dad’s science fiction ramblings growing up. He always mentioned the possibilities of alternative universes, although I couldn’t recall him ever saying they could exist within one another. I wondered if I was physically here? It felt so real after all. Almost a little too real.  
I hated the house so quiet and devoid of the life that had made it a home. I attempted to turn on the main lights, but no matter which way I had the switch, they wouldn’t come on.   
“J, you’ve been here before. What do I do?!” A called out as I sat at the breakfast bar. I clutched my head and squeezed my eyes shut in some vain hope that I’d wake up to this all being a nasty dream.  
It was at this point I realised something rather odd. I couldn’t feel my blood pumping as it would normally under such stress. It would normally pump in and around my ears like white noise.  
“I’m not dead.” I tell myself. “Not a chance am I dead.”   
I heard something outside. A sharp snap followed by a lengthened rustling. My emotions were caught in a contradiction; happy at the thought of not being alone, but petrified as to what it might be.  
There was no point arming myself. In my dreams, it never worked so why would it now?! Walking into the porch I scanned the forest that seemed to have grown even further.  
I didn’t know how, but whatever it was had gotten behind me. It was snarling into my right ear like a demented cat. I recognised that sound, I feared that sound for most of my childhood.   
“I’m Fay Wray and you’re King Kong.” I hissed with my hands held instinctively high. “And we both know Kong doesn’t eat the lady...” I turned slowly to see the monster I still feared as it opened its mouth like a flower.


	27. Sleeper Cell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will most likely be the last chapter until  
> After Christmas. :) 
> 
> Thank you all who follow. Hope you enjoy xxz

Jim had only just gotten everyone rounded up and supplied with a weapon of some description when they heard a car pull up outside. Jim motioned for everyone to be silent as he slowly moved to the window and peered outside. He instantly let out the breath he was holding, only to regret it when he saw the doctor’s face. Jim opened the door before the man had the chance to knock.  
“House calls now Doc?”  
“Where is she Jim?” The doctor asked breathlessly. “I’m not kidding, they’re on their way; is it her in the hospital?”  
“No, Jane is safe. It’s my girlfriend. She was-“  
“Dude, can we trust him?” Dustin interrupted, his eyes wild and screaming with hesitant fear. “No offence Doc.” He doffed his cap at the flustered doctor.  
“There’s a spawn.” Jim explained, not wanting to waste time. “We believe Dustin here breathed in upside down spores. The spawn bit Brogan,” Jim noted a slight flinch of recognition at the name, but chose to ignore it. “A day ago. She passed out 5 hours ago and has been hospitalised ever since. I left her side and hour or so ago, she hadn’t come to and the doctors didn’t think she would. In fact they haven’t got a clue.”  
“And Jane? Can your girlfriend be traced to Jane? Would she help them?” Dr Owens asked.  
“No, why?” Mike asked, suddenly alarmed. Jim’s hand fell protectively on his shoulder.  
“It’s okay kid. This is a good guy. Less of the aggression.” Jim whispered. “Get the scans; they’re in my bag in the hallway.” He pointed to the hall that led to his room.  
“They’re here, aren’t they?”Lucas only half asked, wishing Max was there to keep him calm. “They have someone in the hospital!”  
“Don’t be so naive kid!” The Doctor snapped, “they have people everywhere. The second your girl’s scans popped up; they got the call.”  
“What do they want with Brogan?” Joyce asked reaching for Jim’s arm to provide him comfort.  
“Firstly, they want to quieten this, then it’s finding out how a 33 year old woman has taken the drug the company used on the test patients up to 20 years ago.”  
“Wait. How on Earth do you guys know that she took your drug?!” Jim accused, his eyes locking onto Owens like a steel trap.  
“Because of what that young man has in his hands.” Owens pointed to Mike before beckoning him over.  
“Brogan’s scans?!” Joyce questioned, confused. “Jim?”  
“The mind flayer was our creation. Apparently.” Owens explained as he lit a cigarette and peered into the scan. “This is the first drug on the company’s record. A parasitic Hallucinogenic. Like a sleeper cell.”  
“But this started when she was bitten!” Lucas insisted. “This has nothing to do with a drug!”  
“The nite was the catalyst, the trigger?” Mike asked the doctor for him to nod.   
“It was being created with the intent of-“  
“Warfare.” Jim cut him off with malice. “You tested on people for military purposes.”  
“Less of the ‘you’, there Jim. Remember we agreed that I stayed to do this research.” Owens spat. The boys watched the two men to see which one was going to throw the first punch. The tension fizzled and Jim sat down and sighed.  
“I’m sorry.” Jim insisted, his eyes on the floor.  
“You’re right though. It was military. From what I could find out, a shipment of the prototype was heading for Washington. It never arrived and ended up being found in England. In -“  
“Liverpool?” Dustin asked, biting his bottom lip with worry. Doctor Owens nodded.  
“They sent a team to collect the batch. It’s recorded as untouched.” Owens recalled. “However, we did keep tabs on the cartel. There was an incident involving the family’s young daughter. It was kept hush hush; the company suspected an overdose, but it could be that they tested the drug on her.”   
The room became deadly silent as they all processed what had just been revealed to them.  
“If Brogan is a sleeper cell for the Upside Down, what’s her mission?” Joyce asked, her eyes flitting from person to person.  
“To reopen the gate!” Mike insisted with panic in his voice. “Chief, we cant let that happen.”  
“I know-“ Jim began to explain as the door was pushed open. Nancy was walking a badly bruised and beaten Steve into the house. She placed him on the couch for him to vomit on the floor and pass out. Nancy looked to Jim, tears ran freely down her face as Mike moved to her side.  
“They took her Chief. Steve put up a fight, but he didn’t stand a chance.” Nancy explained as Mike drew her into a hug.  
“Well, shit. Sleeper cell just got a fast pass to the gate.” Doc Owens voiced what everyone was thinking.


	28. Opening the Gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise, I won’t leave it like this before Christmas x

I felt like I’d not seen Jim in years. I shouldn’t have joked about King Kong; after it screeched at a piercing volume the creature scooped me up, pinned me to its side and made its way across town.   
It’s smell curled inside my nose, down to my stomach and threatened to pull out its contents like Egyptians lost their insides.  
It moved so fast that I lost consciousness much easier than I thought I would. In fact I wasn’t certain I could, as I never could before. All memories of my time here came flooding back; it wasn’t a hallucination. Or, maybe it was? Maybe one so strong, it manifested within a part of reality.  
I felt solid ground beneath me but I was in no mind to open my eyes. I could feel heat radiating from somewhere. I’d rather have the cold; this was a disconcerting heat that felt like death.   
There was a conversation of snarls going on beside me. My scaly friend had company. With much effort I brought myself up onto my hands, opening my eyes revealed a horrific sight that had never been part of my nightmares. The whole places was bathed in a red glow, while bones of different shapes and sizes littered the ground. I closed my eyes against a sizeable retch; I’d picked out at least a dozen human skulls.  
I could feel something enter my personal space. Opening my eyes a saw my most recent nightmare figure; the werewolf crouched down before me on its twisted and mangled hind legs. I’d long associated it with Billy and as soon as I had that thought, it nodded in confirmation.  
“That’s not possible.” I muttered as the werewolf placed its front paws down and circled me. I could feel the putrid air move in his wake. The demogorgon remained impassive at the side, almost awaiting instructions. The werewolf was now in a frenzy, running so fast he became a blur of smoke and fur. I closed my eyes in the hope to prevent another wave of nausea.   
“STOOOO-“ I’d began to shout, but I was stopped. My mouth remained open, but things were going backwards. I saw that the air was awash with a fleeting black fog. It was filling my lungs, my mouth and I could even feel it slipping into my brain.   
And as quickly as it started, I was released. The werewolf was still there, curled up quietly beside the demogorgon. I was too scared to talk. What now? I thought to myself, feeling violated and angry. No sooner had I thought it did a voice inform me to open the gate.   
It was not a voice I recognised.   
“I don’t know how?!” I whispered, before I was again stopped from talking by something. I felt like I was drowning; I grabbed my throat to remove the invisible collar that was around my neck. Just as I was at the point of passing out, water gushed out of my mouth and nose causing me to collapse on the ground with a cough.  
“Where’s the gate?” I called to the two creatures before me. The werewolf padded to the largest, flat wall and rubbed up against it like a cat. I considered thanking him, but what good would it do. I gingerly got to my feet as I could feel the sensation of drowning begin again. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing, but I just hoped me touching would get me out of this nightmare.  
Keep focused, I told myself as I took the steps required. It’s just a dream, you can’t die. This isn’t real.  
My hand was so close to touching the wall when a number of things happened at once; the water had filled my lungs, I was not able to stop my heart from pounding and the sound of a shot rang out.  
I saw the blood on the wall before my vision went black.


	29. Release

The bullet splintered glass without a second to spare. Jim had only hesitated because Brogan’s body was bucking violently against the lack of oxygen. The company didn’t have a clue; Jane had described the deprivation tank. This was not its intended use; the oxygen helmet lay abandoned outside.  
They’d come to Hawkins unprepared; only five operatives were needed to be subdued between the gate and the tank. Nancy took most of them out, having left Lucas back at the cabin with Owens, Joyce and Steve. As soon as they'd realised the company had taken Brogan, Jim had piled everyone into his car and set off at full speed towards the abandoned complex. Nancy had sat in the passenger seat and inspected the shotgun Jim had handed her. Jim tried to ignore how normal it all now felt.  
Once Jim had shot out the glass, he'd been caught off guard. The remaining two men in suits were now pinning Jim down on the ice-cold floor while he watched the love of his life tumble out of the tank and come to a stop mere feet away from him. Normally the two men would be nothing to him; he’d have been out of their grasp within the blink of an eye and they would have crumpled like paper. The water was stopping him from gaining any leverage and their arms remained tight around his neck. It left him with one option; watch helplessly as everything unfolded in front of him.  
Dustin was giving Brogan mouth to mouth while leaving the lung compressions to Mike. Jim felt his heart crack and prepare for it to break in two; it should have been him saving his girl. The guilt the boys would feel if they couldn't save her was almost unbearable to consider.  
Jim's vision was beginning to darken when he felt the pressure on his neck disappear. Nancy was above him, the butt of her gun still making contact with the second associates' skull. Jim didn't hesitate or give himself time to recover. He was at Brogan's limp side in a fraction of a heartbeat. How long had she been without oxygen? Jim was considering pushing both boys out the way when Nancy's arms held him back.  
"Chief, let them work. Dustin knows what he's doing." She whispered to him. Jim accepted her presence and clung onto her arms.  
"Come on baby!" He muttered, his eyes not moving from Brogan's closed eyes. "We have so much left to do." His hands shook with fear and Nancy drew him in closer and brushed his arm. "Brogan, I love you. Please, please don't die on me." He choked on his tears as Dustin shouted for Brogan to fight.  
"Wait Mike," Dustin called as her body bucked and wretched. Dustin pushed her onto her side for the liquid to escape. "Nance, get your boot on that thing." He shouted out as he put Brogan back onto her back. Nancy stamped onto the black tar creature before it'd gotten a chance to move. Mike moved in to start compressions again, but Dustin stopped him.  
"Her eyes aren't open," Mike declared, confused at Dustin's inaction. "Dustin?"  
"She's breathing. It's not like the movies Mike; she needs time to regain consciousness."  
"If she does. Don't forget she was in the hospital for a reason." Nancy explained softly, sitting down next to Mike. "You guy's did great. I'm proud of you."  
Jim shuffled closer until his hand could smooth out Brogan's hair.  
"I love you." Jim kissed her forehead softly. "Please come back to me." Jim begged, wishing more than anything he was a prince in a fairytale. He heard Nancy order the boys to check that the coast was clear while she checked that there was no sign of the gate being opened. Jim watched Brogan's lungs rise and fall as if she was simply asleep. He entertained the thought that Brogan would be able to keep his daughter, Sara, company until he'd join them. Jim's vision became so blurry and a heavy sob threatened to split his heart in two so he did the only thing he could. He curled up beside her still body and closed his eyes.   
"J..." A weak voice called to him, a hand claiming his own. His eyes opened with a start and locked onto hers. They were open and looking at him, full of love and gratitude. After helping her into a seated position, he pulled her into a hug. "I drowned, without water." She described.  
"The company." Jim insisted with a bite to his voice. "They sent people who didn't know what they were doing. They drowned you here and it manifested itself where you were."  
"The Upside Down. They wanted me to open the gate J. I almost did it; I was fighting, but I almost gave in." She cupped Jim's chin. "Can we please go home?"   
"Hop; there's a second team in the parking lot gearing up. We need to leave." Nancy came to the door, eyes on reloading her gun. "Are you strong enough to carry-"  
"I can walk Nance." Brogan got herself to her feet gingerly. "Might need someone's hand though." She explained with a smile in Dustin's direction. Jim handed Mike the keys to the car and explained that they all had to get in, while he sorted the company. They took confident steps out of the main doors and everyone, except for Jim, made their way to the car. Nancy stayed outside the passenger side, her shotgun aimed at the company men.   
Jim sized up the man in charge before he'd even stepped outside and the man was flat on the floor, gushing blood before any of them could draw a weapon. The man on the floor was bleached of colour and must have considered remaining on the ground.  
"You almost killed the woman I love." Jim bore down on the man. "You stay out of this town, stay out of my sight and leave my girl alone. She's been through enough, I've been through enough." Jim pulled the man up by his collar. "These kids have been through enough. Stop playing with fire." Jim dropped him as if he was a rag doll and began to walk to the car. "Use this site again, I'll burn it to the ground."   
"You can't stop the reaping Hopper. It's upon us, whether we like it or not."

Back at the cabin Jim ushered everyone home. He asked that Joyce made her way to Jonathan's and spend a couple of days there with Will and Jane; just until the coast was clear. She agreed that it was a good idea and wished him a good night. He checked in on Brogan in bed; wrapped up in one of Jim's thickest fleeces before making up a batch of soup.  
"I feel as if I'll never get warm again," she described sadly as Jim climbed into bed himself. He nuzzled her neck as she drained her bowl. "I wasn't a volunteer J." She insisted out of the blue. "My mother didn't care what drug, or where it was from. I was a very stupid and attention seeking eleven year old who had a very bad trip that I thought was a product of my own over-active imagination."  
"I know." He kissed her reassuringly. "Doctor Owens is going to give you a full work up the next time we take Jane in. He's going to run all of the tests and make sure you're as protected as Jane."  
"I love you more than I will ever be able to express J." She made to straddle him, but her eyes betrayed her strength And Jim was worried she was about to pass out. He stopped her only to be met with a pout. "You want to -"  
"Not drain you of what little energy you have." He explained pulling all the pillows from behind her until she was lying flat. He parted her legs and gazed lovingly into her eyes. His desire had been ignited as suddenly as hers had been, but he wanted to hold back if he could. He knew her drive came from her near death experience and the adrenaline that came with it and could evaporate as quickly. "We have all the time in the world, sex doesn't need to happen tonight." He explained as her legs crossed at his hips and brought him down onto her mound and used her hips to grind his mounting erection into her sex.   
"I need to feel alive, feel heat... I need you." She whispered with such carnal desire, he hardened almost instantly. He moved to her side and while distracting her with kisses, his fingers felt for her hardened swelling. His rhythm of circles, flicks and rubs was slow, but effective; her wetness built like her soft moans. Her fevered heat made way for something completely different. Jim reached out to the drawer that held their various forms of protection but Brogan shook her head as she pulled his arm back. She tugged on his sweat pants that fell all too eagerly to his knees.  
Feeling her pulse around him as he entered almost brought him to an instant orgasm. It was only his desire to feel this connection, this bliss that kept him and his ejectulation at bay longer. Her final orgasm that had her spent came without warning to either of them. No screams or moans of delight, but instead a sound of pure contentment and a strong muscular ripple allowed him to give in to his own release. Even as they settled and Brogan hooked her leg over his, he could still feel her release rippling on his thigh.  
"I want a baby." Brogan whispered sleepily. "A brother or sister for Jane."   
"That." Jim kissed Brogan's forehead, "Was the best way to tell me." He chuckled lovingly. He wouldn't let the events of the day fill him with fear; they could survive everything.


	30. NY

Brogan fixed one of the curls framing her face as she inspected her makeup in the dressing room mirror. There was a glow she couldn’t ignore and she smiled fully as she reminded herself; I’m getting married today.  
“How’s it going in there?” Brogan called to the closed curtain that hid Jane from view. They hadn’t told Jane what they were doing, choosing instead for Brogan to wake her early in the morning and drive them all to the airport.  
Jane had been awfully confused to see Steve waiting for them at the gate, but it was only when Brogan had parted from Jim and Steve and walked straight into Bloomingdales that she’d broken the news.  
“This is the one.” Jane declared, pushing open the curtain. Out of the four dresses Jane had picked out from the floor, she had settled on an simple black midi length tea dress. “You don’t like it?” Jane’s voice was small as she took in Brogan’s silence.  
“Just missing something.” Brogan said thoughtfully, looking to the rack of returned items near the exit. A quick root through helped her find what she was looking for; a wide soft leather belt the colour of daisy pollen. Snapping it into place around Jane’s waist, she took a step back.  
“Your Pop is going to be very happy.” She whispered as Jane inspected the change in the mirror. “What’s wrong Jane?”  
“What do I call you?” The question lay pregnant between them for a few moments. Brogan wanted to answer it right and allow Jane to make the choice herself.  
“That’s up to you Jane.” Brogan shrugged softly her hand trailing through Jane’s hair. “What you call me doesn’t change how much I love you. You know that, right?”  
“But, can you be my mom?” Jane asked tentatively.  
“Honey, I already am. We just didn’t put a name to it.” Brogan pulled her into a hug as she saw Jane’s face crumple with an onslaught of tears.  
“Hey, hey, hey no tears.”  
“Happy ones.” Jane countered.  
“Even happy ones.” She pulled Jane so she was arms length. “Get changed and I’m going to take you for the best waffles you’ve ever had. Pop might kill me, but you’ll never want Eggos again.”

Dressing inside a toilet stall in the town hall brought a smile to Brogan’s face as she heard Jane’s giggles. It wasn’t how she imagined she would be getting ready for her marriage, however it could have been much, much worse.   
Brogan would have been married by now, if she’d stayed in Liverpool. A marriage so arranged it was bordering on forced. It was all in an effort to join her family’s business with that of another in the drug game. The irony was, it was Henry Adams that helped her leave the country.   
“Brogan Evelyn Lusk!” A broad New York accent filled the room and echoed off the tiles. “Get your behind outta that stall right now.”   
There was nothing for it; dressed in a long sleeved vintage knee length dress of crushed cream velvet, Brogan released the toilet’s lock and stepped out into the main room. She didn’t even get to say hello to her best friend before her face crumpled and she grabbed her into a hug.  
“Hello to you too, Eliza.” Brogan scoffed.  
“I was about to tell you off for having the lack of class to get changed in the toilets.” She spat out passionately. “But then I saw how happy you look. That dress is gorgeous. So against trend, which is so you.”  
“Cilla Black wore one just like it for her wedding.” Brogan declared proudly, giving the tall friend who was all legs and hair a twirl. “What?!” She hissed.  
“What are on your feet?” Eliza’s nose curled in distain. She’d tried, for many years, to get Brogan to be more fashionable. Brogan actually loved her for it. She looked down, past her mustard yellow tights, to the pair of distressed white cons she’d decided to walk down the aisle in.  
“They’re old, they borrowed.” Brogan clicked her heels, “the laces are blue and they are completely new.”  
“What about heels? What about the Carvela heels?”   
“She doesn’t like heels.” A small voice threw Eliza and caused Brogan to smile widely. She loved Jane’s honesty. The door of the cubicle opened with a snap and Jane looked out hesitantly.   
“You must be Jane?!” Nancy waved a manicured hand in Jane’s direction. “I’m so happy to finally meet you.”  
“It was my idea about the shoes. I borrowed them to Brogan and picked the laces.” Jane reaches Brogan’s side, who had decided not to correct Jane.  
“Okay, sod the Carvela. That’s so damn cute.” Nancy sang. “Now, lets get you to the church on time.” 

They were directed to the room in which the service would be held. Brogan’s eyes were immediately drawn to the side table in the multi doored room that contained three bunches of flowers and a small box. Brogan nudged Jane towards it.  
“It’s for you, from both me and your Pop.” She explained, watching Jane reach out and open up the box. She revealed a silver locket that had a tree engraved upon it. Once Brogan helped her put it on and handed her a set of flowers, she sent her inside the room in which Jim would be waiting. The door closed with a snap.  
“What is it Eliza, I can feel your judgement.” Brogan thrust a bunch of flowers at her friend.  
“The tattoo, B.” She didn’t mean to, but it came out as a whine. “You not going to have it removed?! She’s, what, 12?”  
“14.” Brogan corrected stiffly.  
“You didn’t answer my question Babe! Won’t people think-“  
“You forget, I don’t care what people think.” Brogan said softly. “I love you, and I know you mean well, but that tattoo is as much as part of her as those Holocaust survivors have. It’s part of who she is and unless she herself decides it needs to be removed, I’m not going to push the issue.”  
“Fuck, B; can you be my mom too!”  
“Not with a mouth like that.” Brogan replied with a laugh as a knock came at the door, before it being pushed open. “Don’t you DARE James Anthony Hopper.” She ran behind the door that was still closed.  
“I’m not going to come in, I’m behind the same door. I just want to talk to you, before we do this.” Jim said softly.  
“Okaaay.” Brogan uttered slowly, fear filling every fibre of her body. Jim’s hand instantly reached around the door.  
“Don’t be a doofus, it’s not that I’m having second thoughts.” He held her hand tightly. “I have a surprise for you.”  
“I saw the flowers, they’re beautiful. Thank you.”  
“Oh god, this is killing me. B, let him talk. That’s NOT the surprise.”  
Brogan looked to her friend, full of confusion. What on earth could it be if it meant that Eliza knew and Jim had arranged it. She felt Jim let go and a figure fill the open doorway. Brogan clamped her hands over her eyes.  
“If you’ve shaved your beard, I will not be happy. I love that beard almost as much as I love you.”   
“Brogan.” A voice as lyrical as her own called. Brogan could have sworn her heart had stopped.  
“Joshua?” She hesitantly questioned, removing her hands to see her older brother standing before her, dressed immaculately in a stunning suit. “What... How are you here?” Brogan’s eyes betrayed her, splashing her cheeks with tears. Her brother pulled her into the biggest hug. “What the fuck have you done to your hair?!”  
“You think I’d miss my chance to give my baby sister away?” He brought her to arms distance, ignoring her comment about his hair. “Good lad you got in there. We been talking for a month or two now. Wanted to surprise you. Liz here helped.”   
“But Ma? Me Ma, our Ma. She’s not going to know you’re here is she?” Brogan’s breath became irate and heavy.  
“Calm down. She thinks I’m in Vegas doesn’t she. Took a wedge; figured that could be your wedding present. After all she’d expect me to blow it all.”  
“I hate to interrupt the family reunion, but I think you need to get in there. The judge is starting to think you’re getting cold feet.” Eliza declared, clutching her bunch of flowers.  
“You go in and we’ll be right behind ya chuck.” Joshua said, his accent much broader than Brogan’s. Nancy proceeded to saunter into the room.  
“You shagged her didn’t ya?” Brogan insisted once Eliza was out of earshot.  
“She put me up, anything less would just be inhospitable. You know me B; I’m nothing if not a good guest.”   
Brogan would never know how to thank Jim for what he’d done, but she was certain she’d spend the rest of her life trying. Her brother offered her his arm, which she gladly took.   
“Ready?” He asked, reaching to open the second door.  
“Born ready.” She said and made to take her first step. Pausing, “seriously though, did you really get a perm?”


	31. A party, the Party

With Steve at his side, Jim felt more than calm. He had been so happy when Brogan had suggested a simple registrar wedding. If she’d have requested, he’d have given her a wedding to rival Charles and Diana’s.  
Neither of them had family to organise and their plan avoided the awkwardness of invitations.  
What Jim had admired most was that there wasnt an issue made about the fact he had been married before, that he’d had the wedding and the rehearsal dinner. Brogan had never made comparisons about his previous relationship, she never showed a hint of feeling threatened.  
Since revealing the presence of her brother, Jim had taken his position by the justice of the peace who intended to officiate their wedding. Jim’s eyes remained fixed on the floor. He wanted the next person he laid eyes on to be Brogan.   
“How’d he know that’s not her?” Steve whispered to Jane as a tap of heels on stone could be heard. It could only be Eliza.  
“He knows.” She whispered back. “Heels! She hasn’t worn heels outside of school since.” Jane thought for a moment “Well, since she realised she was the perfect height for him without.”   
There was a click of the second door opening. Jim counted 6 beats of his heart before looking up. There she was, breathtakingly beautiful; her dress grazed her mid thigh as she walked and reminded him of something worn by women when Beatlemania hit. Her hair was a cascade of curls that all seemed to be drawn to her smile.   
It felt to Jim like everything was in slow motion. He wanted to pause this moment, take it in and ensure he remembered every detail.   
Only as he’d gotten his breathing under control was Brogan’s hands placed in his.   
“Hi,” Her voice was full of love and affection and he was overjoyed to know that it was all for him.  
“Hey you,” he replied winking at her. “You look so beautiful.” Was all he could manage before the service began. Beautiful wasn’t the right word; stunning, breath taking and even radiant. But they’d all stuck in his head.  
It was a simple service that held a brisk pace through vows and signing of the certificate. It was over in a blink of a eye and they soon found themselves outside the town hall with a few hours before their flight. Joshua took no end of photographs, Jane and Steve threw confetti while Eliza cooed at how gorgeous they all were.   
“You know you can’t keep them, right?” Jim heard Brogan hiss at her brother as they settled inside a restaurant for a bite to eat. “If Ma-“  
“Let me deal with Ma. I’ll get them developed and they’ll come straight to you.” He explained with a smile. “You can’t not have photos of your wedding day little kidda.”  
While Jim had seen her with friends, Brogan was no longer missing that core part of herself that made sense to him. He wasn’t sure how much of Josh they would see, but there would always be room at the cabin for him. Jim would forever be grateful to Josh for making the effort. But most of all, he’d be grateful to him for making her smile.  
The restaurant had been picked by Josh and showed how much he knew his sister: a quiet place that offered a vast choice of homely food. After eating their way through salads and sandwiches, Josh excused himself and returned with a tray of the most beautifully decorated cupcakes.  
“Mrs Hopper?” Jim called for no other reason than wanting to see her smile twitch that little wider at the reminder that she was now married.  
“Yes, my husband?” She responded with a wink before planting a soft kiss on his cheek and stealing his bottle of beer.  
“Is there anything else you want to do before we make our way to the airport?” He asked, handing over a cake to Jane. Brogan shook her head.  
“What else is there to do husband? You’ve given me the world today.”

It wasn’t late when they began their drive to the cabin. Jim stole glances at Brogan who was mesmerised by her wedding band. Jane’s smile was wide and she talked animatedly with Steve.   
“Mrs Hopper?” Jim asked, his voice thick like velvet. He’d never felt his heart swell like this with Diane. Brogan’s hand fell into his. “Are you happy?”  
“Very much so, husband.” Her lyrical voice would always bring joy to that title.  
“You don’t feel like you’ve missed out? Big dress, big gifts?” Jim asked quietly, his eyes falling on her face. She looked at him with a beautifully screwed up nose that told him everything he needed to know. “Not even the party?”  
“Of course, I love the party, and we’ll celebrate with them in time.” Brogan smiled.  
“Mom, he meant a party, not the party. First dance, cutting of the cake and all that.” Jane explained. Jane calling Brogan mom had pleased Jim so much that he didn’t even remind her about private thoughts.  
Brogan remained a little too quiet and in that moment Jim deflated. Of course there would be bits she’d have dreamed of having.  
“So long as there’s dancing in the future. Dancing like at the Snow Ball, she’ll be happy.” Jane explained.   
“Hey!” Brogan protested with a laugh. “Out my head sweet daughter.”   
“Steve is also thinking he wished your brother was a sister.” Jane giggled softly before stalling into silence. “Really?!?!” She questioned Steve for him to place a finger over his lips to shush Jane. Jim and Brogan gave up listening to them and focused back on the road and each other.  
”The first dance is the only thing you’re missing?” Jim asked as Brogan looked at him lovingly. ”I’m not even that good a dancer!” He insisted as they drove past the construction site of what would be their new home and parked up outside the cabin. Steve and Jane bolted out of the car as if it were on fire and made their way to the cabin.  
“Dancing with you at the Snow Ball.” She said carefully. “Was the first time I considered you might’ve liked me back.” Brogan’s smile deepened as he walked around and opened her car door. “You’d kissed my head and my heart skipped so many beats I thought I’d died.”  
“You caught that?” He asked for her to nod furiously and snake her arms around his waist.  
“Husband?” She asked for him to mumble an acknowledgement. “Fancy a drink and a dance?”  
“You have no idea how much.” He echoed words he’d said to her so long ago. He kissed her softly and with a deep rooted happiness. He heard a commotion come from within the house. “I think the Party are here.” He spoke between fluttering of kisses.  
“It’s the only party we need. I wouldn’t expect anything less.”


	32. The rug pull ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long. I hadn't expected taking care of my dad would take its toll like it has.  
> It does mean I have to bring this story to an end, even though I did have plans for more chapters.
> 
> There is at least two sequels in the works: one taking place in Liverpool, and another that will weave the events of Chernobyl into the Upside Down.

Was I jealous? Sure, there was that little ball in my stomach that ached angrily. But, come on, look how happy Miss L- Mrs Hopper- was. Even I couldn’t deny that the Chief’s arm tucked perfectly around her waist as her head tucked itself under his chin.  
I want that glow more than I want her. Maybe Nancy is starting to realise what a catch I am. I’ve seen her looking at me differently. I’ve seen her looking when she thinks I’m not too. Course, Will’s been looking at me differently too. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m sending out too many pheromones or if he thinks he knows something he shouldn’t.  
Mrs Byers is doing her best to look happy for the newlyweds and I can’t tell if its being reminded about the loss of Bob or the fact that she’s lost all chance of being with the Chief. Course, they’re both oblivious to any negative emotions flying about here right now. They only have eyes for each other and they’re radiating positive energy. They’d danced around to a song I’d never heard of, but now everyone was just sitting about as if it was just a normal day at Hopper Cabin.  
“No more side effects?” Mrs Byer’s spoke up after the conversation ground to a halt. Now this, I needed to pay attention to. Miss L’s links to the Upside Down would become very important in the not too distant future.  
“No, none. Doctor Owens said it could flare up again like Jane’s does. But there’s so much he doesn’t know. He’s going back to the company and seeing if he can dig up more details about the shipment that made its way over to England. He thinks the files are buried deep because it should never have been part of a shipment in the first place.”  
“He wants to see them both next month.” Chief explained, his fingers interlaced with his wife’s. I couldn’t stop focusing on those little details. There was meaning behind what he’d said. Something I didn’t understand.  
“Dr Owens is going to make sure Brogan can have a baby.” Jane spoke out so matter of factly that I assumed they’d had a conversation as a family. “I’m going to be a sister soon.” She added dreamily.  
The room fell silent as Jane went back to eating her cake. Both Miss L and the Chief looked a little shocked, as if it was the first time Jane had ever read their minds. Well, at least that cleared it up; they hadn’t spoken to her yet.  
“At least I hope I do.” She muttered absent mindedly and it appeared only Will had heard. Until he looked at me with a screwed-up smile that sent my stomach cold.  
“Hey kiddo?!” It was a long while before I realised the chief was speaking to me. I was so consumed with a deep-seated sense of guilt and anger. They would really be considering bringing another kid into this world, knowing what they do?! But even more than that; a pregnancy would leave Miss L vulnerable. “Space cadet?!”  
“Yes Hop?” I had zoned out again.  
“It might be worth getting you checked out too while we’re there. I know you feel fine, but it’s not worth the risk.” The Chief explained as if he knew the bubble of excuses that were forming in my head. I couldn’t be checked out by the Doc. Not now. I smiled and nodded. What else was there left to do? I’d just come up with an excuse nearer the time.  
I zoned out again, my mind was racing. Before I knew it, I was being stuffed into Steve’s car and he was driving me home. As usual, he took Lucas back first before pulling up outside mine.   
”Dustin, is everything alright man?!” Steve asked me as I climbed out without a word. ”I thought you were over the crush on Miss L?!”  
”I am. I'm just...” I couldn’t make him understand when I couldn’t explain it myself. ”growing pains.” I throw out there, hoping it would get of my back. ”I just need sleep.”  
”Tell me about it. Feel like I got jet lag. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon; we’ll head the cinema?”  
I nod and watch him drive away. I'm not really there; I already have one foot in the Upside Down.  
I change and clamber into bed. I know that any second i’ll be there. Because I'm not just me any more, in fact I think I'm more him than me. I muse absently as I take in my new surroundings. I hadn't meant to let him take the driving seat, not really.  
There werewolf sniffs around me as I reach the wall in the facility. Ever since Brogan had spent time in the Upside Down, the gate was cracking slowly open. It wouldn't be long before it would be fully open.  
”When?” without me noticing, the werewolf took human form. Billy’s father stood beside me like a good little pet.  
”soon enough.” I answered. ”soon enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has read and commented.


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